[confusedhead]

I met a girl via online 2 months ago, we bumped into each other on a random chat, she had just split from boyfriend(or in process), and i was bored. We got chatting which was suppose to be fun only, she is a Nepalese girl, im british man. Im currently around 16 stone, so abit overweight.

From start she said she couldn't date anyone overweight, which was fine as i wasn't expecting that, but after a month of talking we met up stayed away for 3 days at a hotel. We had sex and did alot together that was very personal and passionate(least for me). I was suprised she did this as she didn't want to be with me, never mind sleep with me.

She constantly bounces around with her moods, im currently in process of working out and being on a diet to get in shape, she encourages me and knows im doing this for her. But alot of days she will put me down and say we can't work, then other days say maybe we could be together.

I currently have another trip booked with her for end of June, 9 days away together. We have talked every night since we met, and alot of time on phone, last 2 days she has asked for space saying im smothering her and to talk less, she has done this before and for now shes taking a day off from me. This is all fine if she was more stable in her feelings.

Im losing weight, getting fit, growing my hair, even growing a beard all things she wants from me, but most days she will spend alot of time pointing out that im too nice, or my hands too soft or shes not sure if she feel anything for me long term. It's very demotivating seeing her constantly change back and forth.

I treat her very well, too well she says she appreciates it and shes very lucky, but it's me making all changes yet she still finds time to put me down, whilst i never ask for anything from her.

She said she would move in with me when i get my own place for 6 months, yet she constantly talks about how something can't happen, now shes taking breaks from me.

The first trip went well, even then she spent some time dismissing me and her, yet she says we can do friends with benefits whatever happens.

I just want the other trip to happen, but with a month to go im struggling to cope with her moods and she is getting me sad and depressed because of how she is.

What do i do, and what is up with her ?

[Bill3]

You could tell her that you are struggling to cope with her dismissive/critical comments.

[unaluna]

Wow. Is she a working girl? Why dont you find yourself a nice girl closer to home?

[confusedhead]

She knows her mood swings bother me, sometimes she says sorry next day sometimes she sticks by what she says. She sent this last night....

When I said "tomorrow night" I didn't mean last night.. There's nothing to worry about, I will definitely need more time though.. I can't say how much time..(hope without any questions) But I'll contact you when I'm ready to.. Sorry and thanks, there's absolutely nothing to worry about, just need more time with myself.. Hope you sleep well. nn

So she wants more time not communicating, which is fine what annoys me is shes online but won't message, i wouldn't mind if she was doing stuff and taking a break from computer.

I really do care for her, but her treatment of me at times is almost evil, which is weird as in person we got on so well bar one moment she got down for few hours.

I just want the holiday to happen and im insecure she is either meeting/hooking up with others, or trying to back off alot. But for all her faults so far shes always been honest so i'd like to think she'd say if either of the above. But for my own sanity i asked her to confirm trip is all good.

I mean time im working hard to get in shape and left feeling lonely, all my other friends online have told me im mug and walk away cause she will never love you or respect you.

Im just weird when i get attached no matter how badly they treat me i always stay around and be nice, it's always them who has to cut me off.

[confusedhead]

Forgot to add though shes nepalese she lives in london with her family and is a british citizen.

No shes not a call girl. Unless call girls work for free...

[s4ndm4n2006]

The part that stands out for me in this is that you are doing things that you should not be doing.

Here's the problem: you've said you're "losing weight for her" Umm, first off never ever ever change your lifestyle, body, health habits or anything for anyone but yourself. If she has a problem with your weight, she either needs to accept you as you are which is a sign of real love, or she needs to find that superficially more perfect guy she dreams of. She has no right to impose her requirements like that on you. A relationship is about the people, their personalities, their interests and even souls and any relationship based on physical alone is doomed to fail. You're struggling to lose weight for a girl that is constantly judgemental and critical of you now, what happens if you're someone that has a tendency to put on weight, later? You can see where I'm going with this.

Your beard, your hair and everything else falls into the same category. I mean really why do you want to be with a woman that doesn't think you're "hot" and desireable as you are?

Work on your self identity and worth please. This woman is just going to and currently is tearing you down and you will be left as one that doesn't even know who he is in the end.

You can do better.