[Behappy27]

My ex is hurt by my actions, and mistakes. I never was honest throughout our relationship, but because of his anger I was so scared to ever tell him anything. I was bullied beyond belief. He would always say I don't need you, your not worth anything, men go after you for your body, I don't love you, eff you, so many things were said, beyond this too. I felt so hurt because I go after him when he leaves the house and I end up having scars all over my legs because I'm being dragged, I've been pushed, now he wants me back so bad but it's because I started to talk to a new guy that gave me so much respect and a smile, but he made his life a hell, and I had to cut ties with him. Because of his jealousy and way of showing how he feels is insane. My ex is talking to this new girl.. And telling her all bout me. And she doesn't even know me and my story and calling me rude names and hurtful things. It hurts. My ex says she's only friends with this girl. I only care because he knows my hearts not over us, it's harder to even lose feelings because I live with the ex. And now all he ever does is bully me. And it hurts. If I'm stupid tell me. If there's a right way to do this tell me . The landlord has given me less then a month to leave so that's what I'm doing. I am prepared to move.

[healingme4me]

((((Behappy27))))

Sounds abusive. Why no restraining orders? How about a 12step like alanon, where in other posts, drinking is mentioned as problematic between the two of you?
Are you able to find somewhere else, since your landlord gave you this month to move.
Is therapy an option to help you get through the emotional ties to this man?

[curley]

Hi BeHappy. I would never call you stupid because you can not help who you love. BUT.... how and why you could love someone who is so rude, mean and abusive to you is what you need to think about.
If that is what you think you deserve, you are wrong.
It may be difficult but please try not to let anything he or his new girl say, bother you. If you think about it, it is kind of funny, because if he bad mouths you to her he looks very bad in my eyes. She should see the same thing cause one day he will do that to her.
His actions go beyond jealousy, he does not want you to talk to anyone else because he does not want anyone else to have you. It does not mean he wants you believe me. If he did he never would treat you the way he does.
I would stay away from your ex and his girl!!!
Like I said before, if you even consider going back with this guy you will be hurt even more Please do not do that.
Meet other people. Don't answer the guys texts, phone calls, etc.
Take advantage of the fact that you have to move and get away and do not let him know where you go!!!!
You are way to good to be treated the way you have. You need to know that!!!! Believe that!!!!! Good luck

[jimmy rich]

Originally Posted by Behappy27

And now all he ever does is bully me. And it hurts. If I'm stupid tell me. If there's a right way to do this tell me .

I don't give advise, but, since doing a lot of self esteem and Codependency work I would never allow anyone to bully me ever again. I'd use whatever I have available to stop a rotten bully in their tracks! Prior to going into therapy, Codependents Anonymous and studying Self Esteem systems, I was a sitting duck for bullies of every kind! Now bullies don't come anywhere near me because they instinctively know that I am no longer BULLY-BAIT and will make their lives unbearable if they mess with me!
re: "If there's a right way to do this tell me."
jim: I don't give advise but, if this was my situation, I'd find some way to get a backbone and then put those pathetic bullies IN THEIR PLACE!
good luck,
jim

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

'o.O That is really shocking. Moving is most definitely the right choice; just, generally, getting the heck away from him. He is verbally abusing you; I'm sure there's something the law can say about that. To be honest, he's probably just a coward, but just in-case he has enough steam to lash out at you, physically, I would continue to keep your distance... tip for the future: stay away from guys like that.

[Behappy27]

Thank everyone you all have been so understanding. He's very unfair and always treats me like crap because now I cut ties with the new guy but still has a problem with having him on fb too. And refused to delete this chick. This is childish and I don't even bother crying to him to delete her. This is all childish. Immature. I'm not going to continue. I have looked for laces and hopefully within my budget. It's just hard because my love for him is still there just the respect is gone. how does one cope with seeing their love leave or love someone else ?

[curley]

Originally Posted by Behappy27

Thank everyone you all have been so understanding. He's very unfair and always treats me like crap because now I cut ties with the new guy but still has a problem with having him on fb too. And refused to delete this chick. This is childish and I don't even bother crying to him to delete her. This is all childish. Immature. I'm not going to continue. I have looked for laces and hopefully within my budget. It's just hard because my love for him is still there just the respect is gone. how does one cope with seeing their love leave or love someone else ?

Oh Behappy, so sorry I have not been on in a few days. I just saw your new thread. It is always difficult to see a loved on with someone else. I have had it happen to me. We were still living together as you were. He saw nothing wrong with bringing someone new to the home we had together. Well I went out for the night and it broke my heart completely. Hate to be like this but a similar thing happen to him months after LOL. He could not apologize enough for being such a heartless jerk! Karma LOL. I understand just knowing he is with someone else hurts. Please please please try to go out and meet new people. Men or women, does not matter, just nice people to spend time with. He is going to treat other girls like he treated you. And like I said before you are worth much more. block the jerk from your fb!!!!!!

[~Christina]

Right now focus on finding a new home. Focus on decorating and how you will make it a place of peace for you.

Delete him and anyone that he knows off your Facebook. Do not answer his call or a text no matter what it says.. If you can't bear to not answer him, have your # changed Simple solution to handing his calls/texts. Call your phone carrier and tell them you need it changed because someone is stalking you .. they will do it for free.

You keep repeating you cant get over him/stop loving him thats typical thinking from women that are/have been abused .. Ok! yes its hard but right now your allowing him a huge amount of space in your head. The only way your going to get over him is to look to the future and focus on that not your ugly past with him. You deserve love respect and caring.. Things he never gave you.

I wish you well

[Rose76]

Stop living with your ex. Get away from him, and stay away. You are going to be an emotional wreck until you do that. Even if you have to go to a shelter, go.

When someone becomes your "ex," that means that what you had is not there anymore. Stop looking for what is not there. Get out of living with him, and then do not be constantly in touch with him and letting him know all your business and you finding out all his business.

[Behappy27]

Originally Posted by curley

Oh Behappy, so sorry I have not been on in a few days. I just saw your new thread. It is always difficult to see a loved on with someone else. I have had it happen to me. We were still living together as you were. He saw nothing wrong with bringing someone new to the home we had together. Well I went out for the night and it broke my heart completely. Hate to be like this but a similar thing happen to him months after LOL. He could not apologize enough for being such a heartless jerk! Karma LOL. I understand just knowing he is with someone else hurts. Please please please try to go out and meet new people. Men or women, does not matter, just nice people to spend time with. He is going to treat other girls like he treated you. And like I said before you are worth much more. block the jerk from your fb!!!!!!

Your so sweet, im very glad you understand. I have amazing support from you all, ppl who i dont even know

[Bill3]

I am so glad that you are moving out, that will get you away from him and help with your healing.

Be familiar with the cycle of abuse. In that cycle, there is a time when abusers are nice. You could be misled into thinking that he has changed. Don't believe it! It is all part of the cycle of abuse, the way abusers commonly behave to those they abuse.

Cycle of Abuse

[Ripperjack]

Originally Posted by Behappy27

I felt so hurt because I go after him when he leaves the house and I end up having scars all over my legs because I'm being dragged, I've been pushed...

If his actions are leaving you with actual physical injuries, isn't that grounds for assault?

I would be considering that option if it gets really bad. Even if he tried to blame you or talk is way out of it with the authorities, it's hard to explain away visible scars and other physical trauma.

[SeekingPerspective]

Originally Posted by Behappy27

Thank everyone you all have been so understanding. He's very unfair and always treats me like crap because now I cut ties with the new guy but still has a problem with having him on fb too. And refused to delete this chick. This is childish and I don't even bother crying to him to delete her. This is all childish. Immature. I'm not going to continue. I have looked for laces and hopefully within my budget. It's just hard because my love for him is still there just the respect is gone. how does one cope with seeing their love leave or love someone else ?

Hello Behappy27,
You cope by realizing there were far more bad times than good. One good day does not wash away all the hurt and pain he caused you. Moving out and letting him go was such a smart move and blessing. As a suggestion, you could (temporarily) deactivate your FB account. This way your not logging in and holding on to stress.
There are so many amazing things about you that the 'right' guy will notice. Feelings of doubt or shame run deep and for some of us it comes from a real place. Maybe recognizing this past hurt and seeking perspective or counseling will set you on a path to where your meant to be. Sending light and love your way.