[rr13]

So I guess I'm just one of those people who believes in trying to fix a friendship or relationship instead of just dropping it as soon as something goes bad or the other person starts blowing me off. I know most people hate confrontation and will avoid it at all costs, but if it's obvious the person isn't trying to completely cut you out of their life (i.e. still responds to texts as long as you're not asking them to hang out, knows they'll still see you in group functions because you have mutual friends), but just doesn't want to see you right now, wouldn't the best approach be to ask them what's going on and try and talk about it rather than wait months later and think time not talking will fix it? And maybe it's different between men and women. If I'm having a problem with a female friend I really care about, I'll ask what's wrong. Why isn't it ok to do the same when the friend is the opposite sex? Is it because guys just don't want to communicate? I would rather have the hard conversation and work it out if it's possible, but I guess I'm in the minority.

[scorpiosis37]

i think it depends. If person A has come to realize that they don't really like spending time with Person B, there is nothing to fix, there is nothing to talk about. They aren't mad at Person B. They just don't want to socialize with them-- unless they both happen to be at an event with mutual friends. They dont want to be rude; they just don't really want to hang out.

[Avatar10]

The situation is not very clear to me. Did something happen between you and your friend, or is he just not interesting in hanging out with you at the moment?

[divine1966]

Sorry you are hurting

I am not sure why you are saying you are in minority. Most people do ask their friends and loved ones what's wrong if all of a sudden they act strange. In fact I can't imagine too many people simply waiting in hopes time will change things. That's rather unusual.

Saying all thAt if someone simply isn't interested in you and doesn't want to hang out , there is nothing to discuss and nothing to fix or talk over. You may ask but if they don't explain there is no reason to insist and time to move on. They just are not interested. You can't make them want to spend time with you by talking it over. Such is life .

Edit to add that responding to texts means nothing if they aren't interested in seeing you. You don't have to be close friends or lovers to respond to texts.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[rr13]

The two friends I've talked to about the situation have been saying to just give him space. One friend keeps saying I need to give him a couple months without contacting him, but I think she's just being optimistic. She talks about how friends ebb and flow. She's also the one who thinks that because he texted me back that we're still friends. I don't agree with her. Reading about how to deal with men though, and how they're different than women, I've seen articles say that men will pull away if they feel someone is being too needy or getting too much in their space, so for men they say to back off.

For me though, I've never been good at giving myself closure when situation hasn't been closed, so I guess I feel like I need to get answers more for me, so if this is the end of the friendship, I can move on.