[Chocopiano27]

Hi. So I decided to go to an all girl high school desperately wanting to stop being scared around girls and gossips.

At this moment things started to change and everything seems better. EXCEPT when i'm around this one group. Those popular loud girls makes me feel uncomfortable being myself. They're actually nice people and they talk and care about me a lot, but i'm the one who is like putting an invisible barrier between us.

Whenever they talk to me I can't be myself, i respond weirdly or i just say confusing stuff and it makes me look weird even though i'm not. At one point when they were being silly and they asked me to join them i was so scared i wanted to run away. But i knew there will never be a solution that way so i approached them anyway. So i felt really awkward and i actually froze, i couldn't even do nor say anything right and i felt like wanting to disappear.

It has been 2 years being around them, i don't want to keep doing this I don't want them to think i hate them or anything, they're so nice to me and they did anything to get close to me but it's as if i just shut them down and gave them negative vibe. I don't want this, i just want to be friends with them normally and talk to them like i talk to everybody else. (I'm actually a really silly and outgoing person too). Please help me deal this damn problem.. Thankyou for reading btw!

[sideblinded]

Hi Chocopiano27

I think you have so much of this situation in your favor. It sounds like you are having an extreme amount of anxiety and you are very self conscious about every act that you do or word that you speak. Have you tried any relaxation techniques or meditation before you go to meet up with them? It is about getting your mind just in the moment and not thinking about all of the things that could go wrong. You say that they like you and you say that you are outgoing. Being silly and outgoing attracts a lot of people your age and you have what they are most probably wishing that they had. It sounds like you are popular and you must have a type of magnetic personality or they would not want to be around you. I don't think that they hate you at all. I am not so sure that they actually see what you are feeling. Most girls that age are worried about how they come across. I think all of you are in the exact same boat. Just relax and try to see if you can just be and not think that you have to be appropriate all the time. None of us are perfect. Take care.