[psychoho]

My ex n I broke up about a year ago. She was very imature about it n just left with no explanation. I tried to get ahold of her several times to try and talk about the situation but she just ignored my calls and then at one point told me to leave her the **** alone so I didI didn't talk to her for several months and then she started calling me againand for a while called me almost every single day we talked and we're getting along fine and on several occasions she told me that she had been trying to get ahold of me to go out and eat or go do something but every time we would plan it she just wouldn't show up and ignore my calls when I tried to find out what's going on after a while it pissed me off but every time I would ask her what the deal was she would not give me a straight answer. we would talk for a month and be getting along fine and then out of the blue she would tell me to leave her alone but I never called her during this time it was always her initiation to communication with methis has happened probably four times over the past year and its always the same exact thing I finally asked her this time to just be honest and quitdoing these crazy things without an explanation she told me that she didn't want to hang out with me because she didn't want me to get the wrong ideabut once again she was telling me that she was trying to get ahold of me to go do something. I am never the one who initiated contact with her and never asked her to go do anything until she started asking me. its really upsetting because I do still love this girl and when we're talking and getting along it feels good but it always ends up with her telling me to leave her alone and being mean to me what is going on here this is not normal is it and it is normal for me to be completely confused and want to have some answers from her isn't itit's really upsetting because I do still love this girl and when we're talking and getting along it feels good but it wasn't up with her telling me to leave her alone and being mean to me what is going on here this is not normal is it and it is normal for me to be completely confused and wanna have some answers from her is in it

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi psychoho,

Just wanted to give you a quick warm welcome to PsychCentral.

Congrats on your first post here Good to see you here on this forum. Members here are all great.

I'm sorry to hear the circumstances surrounding your first post. It doesn't sound like you had a compatible girlfriend. For her to ignore you makes no sense. I always say that issues can not be resolved by simply sweeping them under the carpet, they need to be addressed full on, and you were doing everything within your power to at least try and work on some things that were happening.

I think that it was pretty callous of her to just leave you hanging dry after making arrangements to see you and then just not showing up. To me, she was playing unfair mindgames with you, you don't deserve to be treated like that.

She sounds like she has some very real issues going on that she needs to address, hopefully which she will do before entering into some sort of serious relationship with someone, because she's put you through some kind of emotional hell by playing you like a yo yo - reeling you in and then spitting you out is not fair on you.

I guess if I consider your question, it would depend on where your threshold lies and what you are wanting from this girl?

Are you wanting to possibly pursue some sort of relationship in the future? Because if not, if I were you, I'd be thinking of my own mental health first, and I'm not sure I'd allow her to continue to maintain contact with me with the way she has messed you around ... I'd find a way to block her from my phone contact or something ...

On the other hand, if you are wanting to maintain a friendship with her, it sounds to me like boundaries need to be set in place in this relationship, which you will need to very clearly spell out for her, unfortunately, because I don't think that she should have let it reach this point.

Either way, regardless of which of the two you decide, my wish for you is that it is a decision that serves your own mental health well in the long run

Let us know how you go.