insecure in my relationship

I have been feeling so down with my boyfriend as I feel insecure in our relationship. He's a great guy very respectful always there when you need him. He's known I've been bi since we met but I get a surge of anger and jealousy when he just talks with women. He is in tune with his emotions which is why he can easily identify and talk with women unlike most men who don't know anything about their emotions and glad how him and I can have a real meaningful talk on emotions and how he understands me.

He always let me know who he talks with and I don't want to be controlling he has a right to talk to whoever. My fears stem from what if he leaves me? I have a fear of abandonment issue resulting from childhood. What if he fancies another woman? He is not cheating on me at all he does enjoy having a social life nothing wrong with that. We have spoken about this before and for some reason I can't seem to be secure in myself. Yea, I am a worry wort. I see a therapist for sexual abuse not relationship issues and she knows I have anxiety being a worry wort.

I bottle up my emotions I have spoken to him about this issue a lot. He reassures me all the time it pains me I'm not a secure woman in my own relationship. I had to watch a lousy narc mom be beyond insecure in her useless marriage that she apparently can't seem to fix/move on/life her miserable life or what's left of it, etc. She keeps saying she is secure, not true, still is being threatened and abused verbally by that man she married. That may be it seeing that horrific abuse all of my life I really don't have any women models, strong female models.

Question is how do you become a secure woman? sigh so tired of therapy and being a basket case when is that gonna end? I know a woman told me to always know your worth. I have been opening up my feelings more and my therapist is helping me to process my emotions using EMDR. I have seen women at other events that we go to who are attached their men talk to women like no big deal as they talk to them and I talk to the women as well.

I am sorry you feel insecure in your relationship.

I am not sure what the answer is but here are blogs on the topic.
Psych Central - Search results for Feel insecure in our relationship