[Cryer]

Was wondering if anyone ever experienced anyone like my husband. He is mad at me over not making a big dinner for him after he went out and had a 16oz steak for fathers day. He says I am not agood wife because I don't have his meals ready on a schedule every day. He works at home so he gets up when he pleases so I really don't know what time I am suppose to feed him. This sounds so dumb but he gets irrate and won't speak to me for days if he misses a meal. I have to be here at noon because he gets mad if there is no food, he will not make a sandwich for himself. I feel like I can not leave the house. He over reacts something terrible. He comments all the time about how he misses a meal if he gets up late, for instance he sleeps til eleven or so because he worked late, so I usually make him something to eat, and then make dinner a little early so its not to long between food. But he gets mad because he missed a meal??? He is not diabetic or anything just a huge baby. This is only one of many problems. Has anyone seen this type of behavior?

[healingme4me]

I have, yet, the story doesn't fold out with a blissfully happy ending.

Hope you realize that his behavior isn't a reflection on you.

[Webgoji]

This sounds like a red flag for an abusive relationship.

He's a grown up. If he's hungry, he can go cook something.

[~Christina]

What a whiney lil boy. Has he always acted this way?

[Cryer]

He makes me feel like it is, I don't even leave to grocery shop until he is fed his lunch, I find myself freaking out if I am out past meal time. He doesn't hit me or anything just has a fit and starts pouting and not speaking to me for days. I don't know how to react I know I should not let him do this.

[Cryer]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

This sounds like a red flag for an abusive relationship.

He's a grown up. If he's hungry, he can go cook something.

He won't even butter his own bisquits or pancakes, if I don't do it he will throw them away or give them to the dog.

[Trippin2.0]

Sound like my friend's father used to behave when he was an actively ABUSIVE alcoholic.

I'm talking barricade the doors he's chasing us with an axe abusive here.

I had to call my dad a few times to intervene.

Since her mom left him he has calmed down ALOT. Hes a new man, even asks nicely if supper has been prepared. Probably because his kids made it clear they won't cater to him like their mom did while he's being belligerent, and because he quit drinking too.


As was mentioned above, this didn't end happily. While the husband eventually changed, it only happened post divorce.

[divine1966]

Ok most women nowadays work outside the house and often demanding jobs, no way they'd be rushing home cooking. Many men nowadays cook or/and do other chores. In fact every man i know can cook. And cook well.

I personally can't possibly be home when he would want me to cook for him. Lunch? I am never around at time of lunch!

Those times when women did all the work at home and men demanded things are over. He can pout. Who cares? He can cook or hire a personal chef. It wouldn't be me. Just go about your life and let him be mad.


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[Cryer]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Ok most women nowadays work outside the house and often demanding jobs, no way they'd be rushing home cooking. Many men nowadays cook or/and do other chores. In fact every man i know can cook. And cook well.

I personally can't possibly be home when he would want me to cook for him. Lunch? I am never around at time of lunch!

Those times when women did all the work at home and men demanded things are over. He can pout. Who cares? He can cook or hire a personal chef. It wouldn't be me. Just go about your life and let him be mad.


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This is only the tip of the iceburg there are other things he does, but just being on this forum and getting replys has made me a little stronger this time, I am ignoring him like you said and trying to enjoy a little freedom. I can't belive just a little encouragement has helped me. He still isn't speaking the 3rd day, so childish.

[Cryer]

Well its day 4 and still my husband is ignoring me, but because of being able to post on here I am actually feeling a little stronger and thinking that it is his problem and not mine. I spent my afternoon yesterday doing what I wanted instead of worrying about his needs. I have been reading a lot and some articles say he feels unsure of himself and that's why he cuts me down all the time and does the silent treatment. He has erectile dis function which is my fault of course. He complains that I never hug him or initiate anything anymore. But he cuts me down every single day about something, when I try to talk to him about it he says I can't take a joke or I am feeling sorry for myself. How can he expect me to be loving when he treats me this way every day. I do not understand his thoughts at all. And every time we try to talk, its always all about everything I am not doing to make him happy. And all the things I do wrong. After a while you start to believe it, I do so many of the things the articles I read, say the victims of emotional abuse do. I am trying really hard to stand up for myself, and trying to not let this silent treatment get to me. Its only like the 100th time anyway.

[Cryer]

Also wanted to say THANK YOU, to everyone who sent me a message. I don't feel so alone and it is helping. You are making me start to believe that it is not my fault.

[Chyialee]

Originally Posted by Cryer

Also wanted to say THANK YOU, to everyone who sent me a message. I don't feel so alone and it is helping. You are making me start to believe that it is not my fault.

Good for you. :thumbsup; If I may ask did his mother/sisters/others cater to him as tho he were the Sultan of Brunei? Bc honest to godz..,..

Hang in there. Slavery's been over for a loooongass time, girl!

:thumbsup:
Chyi

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Cryer

He won't even butter his own bisquits or pancakes, if I don't do it he will throw them away or give them to the dog.

Seriously!? That is utterly ridiculous and, in my opinion, totally emotionally abusive. I really think you should consider leaving before it turns physical.

As one poster noted above, I actually do most of the cooking in our household, my wife and I share laundry, she handles the bills, I do the yard work and labor intensive stuff ... but there's no rule on who does what. If something needs done, one of us does it. Like if a couch needs moved and I'm not around, she pushes it to where it needs to go. If bills need paid and she can't do it, I handle them. It's all about working together as a team.

[Cryer]

Yes, His grandmother, she lived with them {his parents and his family, and her entire life was cooking and cleaning up after their family.

At which point did you sign a contract to be his personal chef?

Though his attitude is his problem, you accepting it is your decision.

You complaining here lets me know that you know that he is wrong.
You have the choice of staying in that mess and grumble, or you can stand up to him, or you can leave.

What does he do to make you happy? Have you asked him that? Or do you remain silent when he accosts you?

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Cryer

This is only the tip of the iceburg there are other things he does, but just being on this forum and getting replys has made me a little stronger this time, I am ignoring him like you said and trying to enjoy a little freedom. I can't belive just a little encouragement has helped me. He still isn't speaking the 3rd day, so childish.

I know it's unpleasant but three days of him being silent gives you lots of freedom to do what you want!

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[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Cryer

Yes, His grandmother, she lived with them {his parents and his family, and her entire life was cooking and cleaning up after their family.

Sure. That was old times. That's over

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[Cat_Lover_58]

You go girl! Don't let him push your buttons! Stick to what you enjoy for a change!

[healingme4me]

I hope he figures out how to eat. What a long sorry, lonely life he'll have with such a kingdom as his...

[Cryer]

Today is day 5 of the silent treatment from my husband, I have been getting support by coming on this forum. Just to get it out is a big help. The way he acts embarrasses me though. Anyway I have been enjoying not having to wait on him hand and foot and being able to do my art and things I enjoy. This morning I noticed he is not as rude as he usually is. This sounds pathetic I know, but usually when he gets up or comes to bed late and if I am still sleeping he will turn on the bright overhead light for himself not caring whether he wakes me or not, which I never do to him, it has a dimmer and I always keep it low so as not to wake him. Anyway he didn't do it this morning he actually was polite and had it on low. he also will come in the bedroom and just change the channel from what I am watching, he didn't do that either last night, just watched the show I was watching even though I know he hates it. Whats this angle, anyone know. I am thinking that maybe its because of the advise I am getting on here, I am just enjoying doing my own thing. Maybe that's getting to him I don't know. But I feel a little more empowered. Even though this silent treatment is bothering me, he isn't seeing it. I do not email him, text him, or anything, which I usually end up doing. Not going to this time.