in romantic relationships with just a good friend

Two of my last romantic relationships became hell, at first it was okay but after first month it became horrible, they didnt understand me, they didnt like to spend time with me in the way I like it, they werent interested in me as a person, they wanted only sex but it was horrible for me esspecially when I was hurted by them, I desperetely wanted to spend my time with my male friends because I can be honest with them but I couldnt be honest with bf, my bf wasnt my friend and it was a problem. My last boyfriends became abusive, I left my bf because I didnt want to be abused again like my ex did. I felt like I cant breath being with them.

One day I texted my ex who I left three years ago because I wasnt attracted to him but he was my best friend, I trusted him, he never did anything harm to me, I was very young at those times and didnt have a job and money and sad but I was abuser then because of money. I left him because at first I wasbt attracted to him and also I felt guilty, we got together when my first bf left me and I was so broken so I went to him.
Now I met him again after three years, we went to party and got drunk and kissed. After that we started to date again. He is still the same, he is wonderful person like he always was, it feels like everything is the same, I feel like I met old good friend, I feel so safe but Im not attracted to him, he is attracted to me like he was before.

So the question is - what do you think about being in serious romantic relationship with your very good friend?

P.S. I was emotionally and sexually abused so I have trauma and I am in love with someone I cant have no matter how far away he was so I didnt love my ex boyfriends and it seems its impossible to fall in love.

Being in romantic relationship with no love won't work in a long run. If you are good friends though love might grow with time and so can attraction. But if there is no attraction how are you going to be intimate? Don't know how that works .

I really don't understand how you kiss him if you aren't attracted? You can't pay me enough to do that. You mention getting drunk. Not a good idea. Impairs your judgement. And are you on Meds? I had an ex who drank while on Meds.

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No, Im not taking any meds.

I think I just cant attract to anyone but sometimes I kiss with someone. As I said I am attracted ti someone I cant have.
Im tired of being alone or abused, if I need to choose - to be alone because I love someone for three years and didnt feel anything to other man or to be with someone I feel okay, I choose to be with him.
I cant fall in love, I cant attract so I have to be alone?
I dont want to be abused again but it happened with my last two boyfriends. My friend is a man I would like to be my husband except...I dont want him in sexual way but I was pressed to have sex (not with him but two other men) so its not a big deal. I dont believe in love anymore but I know that its not right but maybe its better then being alone or being with another abuser.

Being pressed into having sex is a big deal. Please never go along if you are pressed for it.

You don't have to be alone as you can have friends and enjoy life. I am not saying you must wait till the right person comes along. You can enjoy dating I just don't understand how you can possibly enjoy intimacy not being attracted. I am not even talking about love. Just simple attraction. Yes I think it's better to be alone than get on with someone you not only don't love but don't even feel attraction. It is not exactly fair to them and can't paso my be much fun?

I am sorry you fell in love with someone who didn't reciprocate. I had that happen. It should heal over time. Do you have a t you can talk to?

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I cant feel attraction to anyone except one person. When Im drunk I want sex but its not attraction.
Unfortunetely I feel love for my t so... and I have talked to other Ts but it didnt help me at all. I dont believe I could feel attraction again. Maybe Im weird.