[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by divine1966

If you are allowed phone conversation could u be allowed to visit? With supervision?

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The dad is suppose to supervise, but he said it is inconvenient for him.

[scorpiosis37]

Since you said you do not want custody of your son, but you are upset that his dad has custody of him, who do you think should have custody of your son? if neither parent is deemed fit, he risks being put in the foster care system which has a high incidence of abuse as well.

Do you want to have visitation with your son? Has your son asked to visit with you?

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by scorpiosis37

Since you said you do not want custody of your son, but you are upset that his dad has custody of him, who do you think should have custody of your son? if neither parent is deemed fit, he risks being put in the foster care system which has a high incidence of abuse as well.

Do you want to have visitation with your son? Has your son asked to visit with you?

Yeah, my son wanted to come to stay with me this summer but, the father didn't let him.

[iwonderaboutstuff]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

My son's dad petitioned for primary custody with me having visitation rights. Then, I told his attorney that I had schizophrenia. So, his attorney called my mental health providers and they said that I should not be permitted to see my son.

I don't know very much about schizophrenia. I think you did the right thing telling the attorney and letting him talk to your providers. It's good you can still talk to him on the phone. If his dad isn't willing to supervise visits, maybe there's another family member that would?

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

Yeah, my son wanted to come to stay with me this summer but, the father didn't let him.

Where would you stay? It's not uncommon to not want an ex spouse under ones roof. I don't want visitation in my home. That's one positive outcome in my life over the past couple of years. What about a supervision center. Most communities have them, but they do cost money. Might be waivers of fees, I'm not certain, but worth looking into.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

I can hear my son's dad yelling on the phone when I am on the phone with my son.

When he's yelling, what is he saying? Raised voices, do happen sometimes, situation dependent.

[divine1966]

Supervised visitations don't have to happen at home. There are other options such as public places. And Someone else supervising not the ex spouse.

I don't understand how is that you want him to stay with you over the summer yet you have no visitation rights. It is not up to your ex to allow it if not. There has to be court order. You can't ask your son be with you over the summer if you gave no visitations rights. Your ex can't be blamed for not letting son stay with you unsupervised.

What does court order say?

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[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

When he's yelling, what is he saying? Raised voices, do happen sometimes, situation dependent.

He is saying that he doesn't have any time for me to talk to my son.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

He is saying that he doesn't have any time for me to talk to my son.

So he really is yelling at you not your son?

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[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by divine1966

So he really is yelling at you not your son?

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No, he is yelling at my son. I can hear him when I am talking to my son. My son said he doesn't like when his dad acts like that.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

He is saying that he doesn't have any time for me to talk to my son.

Aren't phone calls scheduled? My kids daily phone calls with their father are established for a certain time every night, it's written that way on court dockets.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Aren't phone calls scheduled? My kids daily phone calls with their father are established for a certain time every night, it's written that way on court dockets.

Not always. I had nothing in any court orders about my ex and my daughter talking to each other. He could call whenever he wanted, it was never an issue.

But I would think if it is supervised visitation phone calls would be supervised as well so they have to be in court order

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[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Not always. I had nothing in any court orders about my ex and my daughter talking to each other. He could call whenever he wanted, it was never an issue.

But I would think if it is supervised visitation phone calls would be supervised as well so they have to be in court order

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The defining of the phone calls came after the divorce. It was in probate court yet that day, the judge redefined the visitation. She realized the importance of a concrete definition and amended that portion of the divorce when there was a 209A in place.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Aren't phone calls scheduled? My kids daily phone calls with their father are established for a certain time every night, it's written that way on court dockets.

No. The father lets me talk to my son. He just yells all the time.

[healingme4me]

Yet, he's yelling that he doesn't have time for you to talk to your son? That's why I was wondering about scheduled times. If I didn't have scheduled times, it would seem more inopportune, as they were becoming before the change in the visitation schedule.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Yet, he's yelling that he doesn't have time for you to talk to your son? That's why I was wondering about scheduled times. If I didn't have scheduled times, it would seem more inopportune, as they were becoming before the change in the visitation schedule.

He always is yelling that he doesn't have enough time. He only worked part time until his late thirties. Now that he is working full time, he feels like he doesn't have enough time I guess.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

He always is yelling that he doesn't have enough time. He only worked part time until his late thirties. Now that he is working full time, he feels like he doesn't have enough time I guess.

maybe talk with your legal representative. they will be able to explain to you why this person keeps making a point of saying theres not enough time to talk with you at that moment...it may be that he is trying to set limits with the child that they cant be on the phone for long periods of time.

also sometimes mental disorders can mis interpret whats actually going on. sometimes what we with mental disorders perceive as yelling really isnt yelling.

one of my health issues makes me more sensitive to sounds. I kept telling my wife to stop yelling. to use a quieter voice. but it turned out she wasnt yelling. it was just my ears being overly sensitive due to medical and mental health problems.

another time when i thought people around me were yelling it turned out to be a symptom of being off my meds, that I had forgotten to take my meds...

my point is there are many reasons why it may seem like he is yelling, and maybe he is but because you are not living in that house and do not have visitation where you can see what is going on and know whats going on other than what you are hearing, the situation may not be what you are hearing in the background.

my suggestion contact your legal representative on the case and they can explain to you what is going on behind what you are hearing. and if it turns out to be as questionable and up[setting for the child as you are perceiving it to be, the legal representative can have an investigation done. you can also call child protective services and they will look into the matter to see if its as cut and dry as you are thinking it is ...a father constantly yelling at their child.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

maybe talk with your legal representative. they will be able to explain to you why this person keeps making a point of saying theres not enough time to talk with you at that moment...it may be that he is trying to set limits with the child that they cant be on the phone for long periods of time.

also sometimes mental disorders can mis interpret whats actually going on. sometimes what we with mental disorders perceive as yelling really isnt yelling.

one of my health issues makes me more sensitive to sounds. I kept telling my wife to stop yelling. to use a quieter voice. but it turned out she wasnt yelling. it was just my ears being overly sensitive due to medical and mental health problems.

another time when i thought people around me were yelling it turned out to be a symptom of being off my meds, that I had forgotten to take my meds...

my point is there are many reasons why it may seem like he is yelling, and maybe he is but because you are not living in that house and do not have visitation where you can see what is going on and know whats going on other than what you are hearing, the situation may not be what you are hearing in the background.

my suggestion contact your legal representative on the case and they can explain to you what is going on behind what you are hearing. and if it turns out to be as questionable and up[setting for the child as you are perceiving it to be, the legal representative can have an investigation done. you can also call child protective services and they will look into the matter to see if its as cut and dry as you are thinking it is ...a father constantly yelling at their child.

I don't want to call CPS because in the family court it can be viewed as malicious if the father charms them.