[MoonSunn]

Hey..

I understand when people grow, their conversation skills grow too. I never noticed I have fallen much behind with it and I now spend my days mostly alienated and silent.

The way I see it (correct me if I'm wrong) kids talk their immediate subconscious (needs, opinions) while adults use words to represent something else ''it was sunny all day'' (we were getting high all day)

I am trying hard to re-learn all the double meanings. It would help if there is a list or something of these phrases/words.

This isn't the biggest problem. When in groups or 1 on 1, 95% of what the conversations are about is people who heard gossip of me making me feel like **** because of it. Everything they say is true. I don't defend myself, I don't know what to say. This spirals and soon the entire room is laughing at me and encoded-ly saying all these things about me while I'm actually aware of it, but don't show it, making me look stupid and then surely nobody wants to talk to me.

Sometimes it happens that I run into a person who knows none of this gossip, a fresh start. The conversation halts quickly. I have no idea what to talk about, unless it's trivial childish stuff nobody cares about. I haven't been talked to as a kid and never learned to socialize properly.

How do I .. ? Is there literature online or anything that could help me?

Thanks

[divine1966]

I am totally confused. If people say it was sunny it means they are high??? I am totally lost on this one. Most people mean what they say unless deliberately lie. I know nothing about double meanings. Sure people might use quotes or idioms or something you don't know but most of the time people don't speak in codes

Are you hanging out with bad crowd or something?

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[iwonderaboutstuff]

I avoid people who make me feel like s***

Yes, adults will use words and communicate in a different way than kids. Sometimes they will use a word to refer to something else. I do this if I want to talk about something adult to another adult and there is a kid in the room. For example, I'm not going to talk about sex in front of a kid, but I might want to communicate something about it to another adult.

I agree that as a general rule most people don't speak in codes, unless they know each other very well and it's a kind of communication short-hand or it involves drugs.

When I talk to someone new, it is often about trivial stuff because you got to start somewhere. If I'm the one striking up a conversation, I often begin with a comment about something in the current environment, what's happening around us, something I see. These kinds of interactions are often short/minutes by nature.

Asking open ended questions is good "What do you think about ____"