I feel like everything I do is WRONG.

Everyone makes me feel like everything I do is wrong. The other day at work, i was trying to be useful and find something to do while things slowed down at my station and a coworker yelled at me saying we had silverware to roll that has, to my knowledge, just came in that was more important than what I was trying to do and to "not just stand around". I am a horrible waitress, It gives me terrible anxiety, both socially and mentally and I sometimes get orders wrong. I do not have best friend or even a group of close friends. I am no one's favorite person and I sometimes feel like i have a very very dull personality when I am with people who give me social anxiety. I hate myself a lot and wish I was someone else. I am ugly and annoying and no one likes me. My friend who i lost my virginity to is a terrible person who made me feel like having sex with him was the right thing to do and my ex boyfriend left me super easily and without a fight even though he told me he cared a lot about me and had a new girlfriend not even a month later. I haven't had an actual boyfriend since and no one has ever caught interest in me since. I feel worthless and stupid. I can't deal with it anymore and I want to be someone else. I seriously hate myself. So much.

Life gets more painful when those we are romantically involved with, turn.
Have you considered counseling to learn how to be assertive? Did you tell the person about the silverware, that you'd just taken a moment, that they just came in, and to cut you some slack because you do work hard?

I was a terrible waitress. In the kitchen, other waitresses would pick up my hot plates for people at their tables. I spilled milk on a customer who yelled he would sue me. (I knocked over a creamer on the table.) I ended up walking out the door. Other waitresses told me I needed to grow thicker skin. It wasn't the right job for me at that time. So I left and did other things and floated around from job to job.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It is very painful. Know and remember one thing. If you weren't doing enough work, they would fire you in a heartbeat. So you must be holding your own. Still, it hurts to not be respected by supervisors and co-workers. How long have you been at this particular job? I ask because it does get easier after about 6 months. If you are there less than that amount of time, don't judge yourself by how you are doing now.

You do not have people in your corner rooting for you, which is awfully hard. Your decision to have sex was your decision and you need to own that. I'm sorry the relationship ended, but you can't make your ex responsible for everything you did with him. It's hard to be so alone, I know. Is there any chance you could go back to school?

Waitressing isn't for everyone. It's ok to consider a different path. Is this just temporary job or you plan a career in the field? Have you consider career /vocational type of counseling?

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