[A2591]

My ex of 6 months just broke up with his new girlfriend and got kicked out of her house. He needed a place to stay so I said he could stay with me until he found somewhere else. He has now started dating other women. I feel that this is rude and disrespectful to me since he's living in my home and he knows that it is hurtful to me because I told him. He says that if I was really his friend I would want him to be happy and it wouldn't bother me that he was dating other women. I just want to know am I totally out of line here?

[LikeABoomerang]

While technically you really don't have a say in his personal life or when and who he dates anymore, I feel he is being totally disrespectful to you, since you have a not so long ago history and you are doing him a HUGE favor. I would stress that right now his priorities should be looking for a permanent place to stay, not a place to park his ****. Tell him you want him to be happy, but he should also want the same for you and at least have the decency to give you that respect while he is staying in your home. If he can't do that, tell him he has 30 days to find a new place. Don't put up with him guilt tripping you and walking all over you.

[marmaduke]

Tell him he must leave A.S.A.P.

I don't think you're at all out of line. It was insensitive of him to let you know that he's seeing new people while living in your home. If he's waiting to save money before he can get his own place, I'd go so far as to say that his time could be put to much better use by getting a second job temporarily so he could save money faster instead of concentrating on his social life.

I don't know if you're considering asking him to leave. That's perfectly within your right. At the very least, it would probably be good to ask him to give you a time when he expects to be able to get his own place. In the meantime, you could ask him to keep the details of any women he's seeing to himself and certainly not to bring them to your place.

I had a friend do something similar to me once. While he was staying with me, he was constantly talking about the new woman he was seeing. She was always calling him, and there was lots of drama. I had never dated this person, so my dislike for his behavior was based on my perception that he was thinking a lot more about his relationship stuff and not about how to find somewhere to live.

Good luck in finding the words to talk to your friend. Sometimes it's easier to write things down.

[Trippin2.0]

It's only "out of line" if your ex is under the impression that you're over him and perfectly ok with being friends.


If he knows you're not over the relationship and he's still behaving insensitively, then no, you're not out of line. Not at all


If you two were really just friends, you wouldn't care who he dates, like he said, you'd even be happy for him, because it wouldn't even feel disrespectful at all.


I think the real issue here is that while he has moved on, you profess to have done the same, but have not reached that point fully yet.


IMO your friendship is either a farce or not fully formed yet, so better you give him an "eviction notice" instead of watching him torture you day in and day out.

If you're just friends then it shouldn't be seen as disrespectful I don't think. However he probably should be looking for a house rather than a relationship at this point. I think it's disrespectful in that way. He should be looking for housing in his spare time, not women.