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  #1  
Old Jul 12, 2015, 10:01 PM
Macd123 Macd123 is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: Seattle
Posts: 735
So I'm not really close to a relationship so this is strictly hypothetical. The problem is I have an extreme guilt complex about bringing another individual into my empty space. All my life I've been a lone wolf and when I think of exposing anybody to this lifestyle I run back into my closet. My history is one of a wandering nomad - I've been doing everything alone for so long I don't have any way of knowing if somebody would be okay with being so isolated from the rest of civilization. I'm very flexible, if somebody wanted to hang out with their friends I would be fine with it - just don't expect me to go there. Also I'm getting fairly long in the tooth so evolving into a new species probably ain't gonna happen. Bottom line - has anyone else had success with another individual even though your social world consists of long solo travels? I can't really get around this issue i.e., I don't know anyone else that has my lifestyle and a successful relationship.
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  #2  
Old Jul 12, 2015, 11:17 PM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,967
My suggestion would be to avoid thinking far in the future and thereby creating reasons not to change in the present.

Instead, my suggestion would be to start to make small changes now, connect with some people now, and deal with each day as it comes up.
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Thanks for this!
~Christina
  #3  
Old Jul 13, 2015, 06:45 AM
PsychAL PsychAL is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2015
Location: Manila, Philippines
Posts: 11
You aren't alone. For a long time, I have been a loner myself, but right now I'm trying to slowly crawl into the sunlight by establishing friends who I alone, and not my immediate family members, only know personally. I want to go one step at a time, and if I can help out someone despite my lone wolf mentality, that will really go a long way. As of current, I have a Facebook friend who is now in college, and I want to help her out like a brother helping out his younger sister.
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  #4  
Old Jul 13, 2015, 08:41 AM
kirby777 kirby777 is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 498


I am a loner as well.

Back story-as a child, teen & in college I was not. I am an only child so I wanted to be with others, but most of the time I was alone-My mother ignored me & myfather died when I was young.

After a break up with a serious BF(8 yrs)..I guess I was afraid of people, and since my mother left me down, I slowly became a loner. There are certtain things I have always preferred to do alone.

I have been in relationships in which there was at least an hour drive time...I think I did that on purspose. I have gone months with telling on guy I did not feel up to seeing him & I would just be alone & watch TV or do some things myself.

I now am very lonely & self isolating. I relate better to animals than people. I feel I will die alone.

PsychAL, I am impressed with you placing yourself out there! Best of luck with it. i see everyone paired up & it makes me sad.
__________________
KIRBY

DXS: MDD, PTSD, GAD. . I believe there are others.

RX: Wellbutrin XL, 300 mg tablet daily, in AM
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4in1, avlady, Bill3
  #5  
Old Jul 16, 2015, 09:27 PM
anon81715
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Posts: n/a
I totally relate to what everyone in this thread has said. I have isolated myself more in the past 4-5 years and the loneliness part has just now caught up to me. Everyone around me seems to be paired up (including the guy I really really like), and it makes me more depressed than I was to start with. I think what Bill said is sensible--start small and set realistic goals first, rather than focusing too much on big picture stuff...
Thanks for this!
Bill3
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