Should I unfriend this coworker who didn't reply to my birthday wishes?

I wished her a happy birthday on her timeline, she liked or commented to all birthday wishes she received except for me and three others, this was about four days ago (neither like nor comment).

I want to unfriend her because she didn't make any consideration for me.

I want to understand that weird behavior of people, you find someone only liked a BD wish, only commented on a BD wish, sometimes like and comment and sometimes neither like nor comment !!

Before doing anything you should probably talk to her about it. It could easily be just rudeness, but it could not be as well.

I don't want to flatter, what could possibly be said in that situation, for sure she saw the birthday wishes and she ignored it intentionally.

Moreover, my relation with her could be considered superficial and the unfriend is the best reply to her rudeness and ignorance.

Giving without expecting anything in return is love.
Love gives you happiness.

I totally understand how you feel, and when you are focused on "self" this kind of action will bother you every time!!
Turning the focus off self, time and time again, is transforming for you!

"Happiness doesn't come through selfishness but through selflessness, everything you do comes back around"

I agree with your point of view, but this could only be applicable to your kids, your parents, your close friends, your wife, your siblings...etc

It is tactfulness to just thank someone who wished you happy birthday, it will not cost her few seconds, I don't want anything but a thanks or even a like.

Social media is going to be the downfall of Mankind

Hey Christina usually like your words.

Can you please explain further?

Social Media is everywhere and about everything. I have often missed "liking" something a person posts on something of mine pretty often.. why ? because I am on Facebook off and on many times a day, few mins here and there. That lil world globe thing that lets us know who posted something on our page or tagged us or said ____ Liked your post....It's not foolproof.

Its very possible your co worker just didn't see it , or maybe while going through them all she got a call , a knock on the door, a dog yakked.. I have had to get up twice trying to finish this response ( yeah I have a yakking dog today) so anything can happen , that disrupts a person going through Facebook and clicking "like"

Sure it sucks that it feels someone has ignored you. Maybe it was an oversight, maybe she did it on purpose. Maybe you could say.. Oh wow.. I was so happy too see on your Facebook that you got so many Birthday wishes when I left mine... Maybe that will give you a idea if it was an accident or a passive aggressive way to be a bytch.

I just personally think that often Facebook and the like can cause alot of hurt feelings that would have never happened 10 years ago prior to this explosion of constantly being in touch.

So for me.. I think Social media can/is/will be the downfall of Mankind, eventually. For me ? I don't give a hoot if someone thanks me or likes something.

Good Lord, a shytloada people wished me HBD on Saturday and I'm pretty sure I did not get to them all. I hope none of them think I was intentionally rude, because my timeline minimized itself, showing Marlene and 40 others (or whatever) wrote on your timeline... But I could not see past 10 posts... And since I was away for the weekend and was using my phone, it didn't occur to me to double check on Monday when I was in front of a laptop... Annnd to make matters even worse....

I failed to post a general "thank u" status to everyone the next day to make them all feel appreciated.


I was way too distracted by all my weekend birthdaying.


I agree with Christina, people take social media way too seriously.


Someone's either using it to intentionally hurt someone publicly, someone is feeling hurt for perceived public jabs, relationships have avoidable issues or are straight up destroyed because this guy or that girl likes too many of your pictures and posts on your timeline way too often. etc etc


Life was so much simpler without this constant, instant contact.


Its not even funny how many people expect your hands to be permanently glued to your phone and reply instantly, just because IM is an option.


Unfriend her if you feel that's the appropriate action to take. Do what's best for you.

But what will your response be should she have the balls to ask you why...


"You didn't like my HBD wish?"

Cut her some slack, she is probably socially inept like me.

If you called her or send actual card or a gift not replying would be rude. But that's Facebook. It's not even real communication. I swear Facebook is ruining people's lives

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You are taking FB much too seriously. On birthdays, people get bombarded with birthday wishes and getting around to responding and thanking every one of them can be just a bit much. It could have been buried amongst a jillion others. I wish people happy birthday on FB every day, but I do it because I want to, not because I expect them to turn around and thank me. Unfriending someone over something so trite seems a huge overreaction.

Totally agree on the tactfulness of thanking someone when they wish you a HBday, that's common sense even.

But as soon as you add "......I don't want anything but a....." There is no selflessness in the word I

As soon as we take I out of it, our ego couldn't care less whether we were thanked or not

I closed my Facebook account down awhile back because I often feel stressed by it and feel like I have to compete with other people for attention. When somebody doesn't like and comment on one of my posts or replies but they do somebody else, I get jealous and offended.

While it's true I've met a lot of good people on Facebook some that I am still friends with, it does more harm and good for those of us with mental health issues who can't moderate our time, therefore, I keep only my business account that I use to maintain my web store fan page and deactivated my personal account indefinitely.

As to the OPs question, If she has a lot of friends (several hundred or thousands) and she has a busy career, chances are she missed you. If she doesn't, than I would unfriend her as she likely doesn't care about you.

All this drama over a FB birthday post? Really? I wish people happy birthday on FB all the time (because FB reminds me!) and I never bother to see which friends "liked" it or not. Who has the time for that? You do something nice for someone else because you want to, not because you expect something back in return. It's her birthday. I'm sure she has bigger priorities right now than being on FB "liking" posts.

I haven't had birthday greetings in a long while, but I already got used to not being greeted on my birthday. Even if FB has a reminder, it's not as if my "friends" care. After all, these people have other priorities in life than learning about my birthday. In short, just don't expect anything in return. If you beat yourself up over it, you will only make things worse for yourself. I once tried to be an attention-seeking person, but now I consider myself a loner, and it's not so bad actually once you start getting used to it.

These other three people, did they converse with you? How'd you find out? Is there a common denominator that leaves you feeling singled out, as a group?

I cannot begin to count, how many 'belated' birthdays that I've wished, this calendar year. Fixed all my settings to have that little globe giving me the notifications that I really want, such as birthday reminders, or a conversation on my page. And I've had this discussion online with an out of state friend from my youth, about how annoying that we all miss posts from those we want to see because fb plays its own game and filters by their logarithms....

If she's that unfriendly, unfriend her. Otherwise, why send a birthday wish, next year if it's unsettling?

Wow. I never knew that wishing someone Happy Birthday came with such obligations.....

Honestly, the fact that you have looked through all her messages to see how many she didn't like or respond to???? Just wow.

The point of giving is not to be expecting something back. The fact that you want to unfriend this person, and basically stalked their facebook page and kept tabs on their actions..... honestly, that says a lot more about you than it does about them.

I don't really think it's sensible of you to burn bridges with someone based on your expectations of social media.

I can relate so much to OP because I've had similar issues that were so extreme that I had to close my personal Facebook account until I improve my mental state.

Maybe you're being a bit hard on OP?

I wouldn't consider it giving and expecting in return so much as feeling left out when people get more attention than you or something you want (in the case of likes and comments).

At least this was the case for me. I always wanted to be popular and liked on Facebook and I wanted a lot of friends because I was lonely and craved relations with people that I didn't have to work for and lets face it: making and keeping friends on Facebook is a high reward low work kind of thing and the best part about it is you can close them out of your life when you log out of Facebook thus not feeling forced to socialize when you need your alone time.

Of course, OP might be in a different situation entirely

I just find the fact that OP is monitoring who she replies to or not.... well, that to me shows that the issue is most likely more with the OP.

Everyone wants to feel included - but unless you're checking and rechecking someone's page you would never know that they replied to everyone but you and three others. I'd certainly never notice!

And wanting lots of friends? That's some people's goals, but not others. I go through and purge mine... I like to keep it a small number, only people I actually interact with. Why does it matter what number of people I have on it?

I just think that getting upset enough that someone didn't like their simple happy birthday message... well.... I personally find it petty to want to unfriend them for that reason only. Having someone not click "like" or thank you.... that's not extreme. It's a very little thing. It might be different if it was someone's best friend who ignored them.

I always forget to like people's comments on posts, even birthday wishes. I'll go days without going on Facebook, even on my birthday. It never occurred to me that it mattered until a friend of mine asked me to like a picture of her daughter that she posted. I thought it was so odd at our age but apparently there are Facebook social rules.

I would your friend the benefit of the doubt and assume she hadn't been online. If you texted her and she didn't respond that's one thing, but on Facebook she easily could have gotten so many "happy birthdays" that she hasn't even seen them all.

Facebook and other social media sites breed insecurity and obsessive behavior. You can actually purchase apps in that will add "likes" to your photos in Instagram so that you appear more popular. My children aren't allowed to have personal accounts for this reason - it really warps reality. Some people spend so much time obsessing over such superficiality that they become more anxious and depressed than they would be of they just stayed offline.

I honestly don't understand that mentality at all. Thank goodness the people I am on FB with are all just friends and family who use it as a way of keeping in touch. None of the drama. Such silliness. My kids do use FB, but thank goodness they have the self-confidence and value system to also just use it as a way to keep in touch, not some status symbol thing.

Also in case you didn't know, there are companies who actually sell friends and likes to your fan page. I came across a company a while back that would actually sell you 5k friends for a few hundred dollars or 50k likes to your fan page for about $1300.

That is disgusting and a sad commentary on what the species homo sapiens has fallen to.