Quote:
Originally Posted by whyguitar
Sure sounds like the right thing to do. Then I stop and say - "but I can't live without her." We have broken off this "non-relationship" too many times - both her - and I! It fails every time - and we're back together.
Ultimatum - I'm not strong enough. Sure there are plenty of fish. But our joining came so easily and so naturally I cannot NOT be a friend ...and you know where that ends up leading to.
I know every time one "falls in love" it's "Oh, so different from any other" ... technically it is true, though - because each human being has their own particular qualities and quirks - so every "love" is different. I have compared current feelings with past loves - and find that it most closely compares to my longest term girlfriend relationship in my 20s (not a "teenage crush" - not "oh time to get married" - not "an obsession") but such perfect closeness, so "in-tune" with each other - why would I want to let it go without continuing to try - until the very last moment, and maybe even beyond. I'm over the big 50 - I ain't gonna get many more of these!  |
I understand, and you're getting advice right now from a late twenty-something. And I know what its like to date while having mental illness- the scarcity mindset sets in and you tell yourself you would never get a chance like this again. Ultimately, you project this and it makes it easier for her to have her cake and eat it, too. I still stand by my word, there may be someone better than her for you and ultimately it's your dignity that counts, because if this progresses and goes nowhere you'll suffer a blow. In my opinion it's just not wise to count on a girl who has a boyfriend but is having a relationship behind his back. No matter how dried up things have been and for how long, it's still a respect and dignity issue. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't pursue it any further. Forget the drama that can result, just the act of waiting on a woman who knows your weakness and why you haven't moved on and takes advantage of that is enough to demoralize me. Then again, I'm younger. Plus, I have a certain personality that allows me to make black and white decisions (call it a curse or whatever, it's created as well as solved problems for me).
__________________
“Convictions are more dangerous foes of truth than lies.
"- Friedrich Nietzche
"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel. Every one sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli
Aug 24, 2015, 12:52 PM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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