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  #1  
Old Oct 12, 2014, 01:51 PM
Avisince86 Avisince86 is offline
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I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. I love him dearly, he has been my biggest support system. I have never out right told him that I suffer with depression, and I know that it makes some days harder than others. I get so angry, mostly with myself, but I know that I take it out on him at times. Even if it comes off as just slight irritability, I don't want to hurt him. I am not sure how to bring this up to him now. I don't want to push him away further. Any ideas would help, please.
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  #2  
Old Oct 12, 2014, 11:08 PM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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Are you seeing a therapist? If so, does your bf know? I'd imagine that after two years, there's enough history to bring it up.
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  #3  
Old Oct 13, 2014, 06:55 AM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avisince86 View Post
I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. I love him dearly, he has been my biggest support system. I have never out right told him that I suffer with depression, and I know that it makes some days harder than others. I get so angry, mostly with myself, but I know that I take it out on him at times. Even if it comes off as just slight irritability, I don't want to hurt him. I am not sure how to bring this up to him now. I don't want to push him away further. Any ideas would help, please.
I am unclear on what the difficulty is in bringing it up, since you wrote "now". Do you not know how to bring it up, or, are you in a bind since you have not told him for so long and now feel awkward telling him all of a sudden?

For those two years, have you lived together or separately?
  #4  
Old Oct 13, 2014, 07:38 AM
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hvert hvert is offline
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I think the awkwardness around telling him about your depression is less of a problem than taking it out on him when you are angry. I am not sure if that comes out right or not -- just that he probably would be more upset about the way he is treated than the fact that you are depressed.

Apologizing for being irritable will be well-received. Maybe you can brainstorm some things you can do when you start to feel irritable. I hope your conversation goes well if you decide to have it -- since he has known you for so long, it may not be a surprise to him.
  #5  
Old Aug 13, 2015, 11:46 AM
I'm Worth It I'm Worth It is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2015
Location: New Jersey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avisince86 View Post
I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. I love him dearly, he has been my biggest support system. I have never out right told him that I suffer with depression, and I know that it makes some days harder than others. I get so angry, mostly with myself, but I know that I take it out on him at times. Even if it comes off as just slight irritability, I don't want to hurt him. I am not sure how to bring this up to him now. I don't want to push him away further. Any ideas would help, please.
he has been my biggest support system -- If this is true, I'm having a very difficult time understanding why you've hesitated to discuss this fact with him. In addition, if that is true, I'd be willing to bet he has a clue at least.

You are way past the point where you should be hesitating to reveal anything to him. There is something else going on here. Being hesitant or afraid to talk with a partner about something is not part of a healthy relationship.

You say you don't want to push him away further -- is there already some "distance" between you and if so, why? Has he pulled away from you or are you pulling away from him?

It would hurt him more to know that you've been "hiding" something from him . . . he may actually feel relieved to know there is an underlying cause for your irritability, etc. instead of thinking he's the root of it.
  #6  
Old Aug 13, 2015, 11:56 AM
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Webgoji Webgoji is offline
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You can't solve a problem you don't acknowledge. The longer you keep it from him, the more frustrated he'll grow over time since he's trying to support you though something he knows nothing about. Give him the tools to help you by letting him know what's up.
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  #7  
Old Aug 13, 2015, 04:52 PM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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I hope the OP found a way to open up and talk to her boyfriend. She hasn't logged back in since Oct 2014.
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