[Corazon13]

Hello everyone,

I am new to this website, please bear with me. I have been going through a breakup with a man that meant the world to me due to my depression.

He has told me that my emotions are out of control, and he can't keep putting himself through that. Then he will tell me that we are still together.

I have not spoken with him in over two weeks. I have attempted to contact him (per his mother, and my therapist), however, he will not respond. He ran when it got difficult for him, however, he was not even experiencing the depression that I was. In fact, we live an hour apart from each other, and did not know what was going on in my life to cause my depression to worsen. Because he does not want to know my feelings. Also, he hasn't wanted to check on me to see how I'm doing.

I am starting to feel that I will never be able to hold a solid relationship with a man because I have been left/damaged by the men that I have been with. Why should I be left, just because I am experiencing depression, which is out of my control? Has anyone else ever felt as if they would never find someone out there to care/love? I feel like it is impossible at this point. I am so broken down...

[CANDC]

Hi Corazon, it is so difficult to explain to others what depression is like. Sounds like your friend has not developed the ability to empathize. That type of person is not as easy to be in a relationship with.

Welcome to Psych Central (PC). I am sorry you have suffered from multiple challenges, including childhood abuse. No one should have to endure that. You really are a survivor coping with all you are struggling through.

Glad you are part of our community. Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems are more manageable the more they help others.

Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts). Depression chat meets on Thursday night at 9pm EST and Anxiety Wednesday at 8PM.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[Sesiley]

Unconditional love is where you don't give up on one another. He should be there for you. He could have just took a small break from you to refresh on things, clear his mind.

I'm sorry to hear such things. I hope it gets better for you. Hang in there. Get help with your depression. It's very important. Take care of yourself!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G750A using Tapatalk

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by Corazon13

Hello everyone,

I am new to this website, please bear with me. I have been going through a breakup with a man that meant the world to me due to my depression.

He has told me that my emotions are out of control, and he can't keep putting himself through that. Then he will tell me that we are still together.

I have not spoken with him in over two weeks. I have attempted to contact him (per his mother, and my therapist), however, he will not respond. He ran when it got difficult for him, however, he was not even experiencing the depression that I was. In fact, we live an hour apart from each other, and did not know what was going on in my life to cause my depression to worsen. Because he does not want to know my feelings. Also, he hasn't wanted to check on me to see how I'm doing.

I am starting to feel that I will never be able to hold a solid relationship with a man because I have been left/damaged by the men that I have been with. Why should I be left, just because I am experiencing depression, which is out of my control? Has anyone else ever felt as if they would never find someone out there to care/love? I feel like it is impossible at this point. I am so broken down...

Hi and welcome,
Whatever other men have done or not done to you should not be placed onto men you will meet in the future. So in that respect you can close the door on those former, unsuitable boyfriends. Your latest boyfriend "doesn't want to know your feelings" -- so he is not the man for you.

However, your attitude is setting you up for this situation to keep happening. In my opinion, men are less comfortable with 'feelings' -- their own or others. So I suggest you develop some good female friendships to get the emotional support you crave. In addition, your depression is in your control. If you are seeing a therapist and have had no relief from your depression, it is time to ask the therapist why and what to do about it. Instead of pining away about an absent boyfriend, make improving your mood your number one priority. When you are feeling better emotionally, you will attract men and then you can go slowly and choose a nice one; one who understands and values healthy give and take in relationships.