[Arwen_78]

I've had problems my whole life making and keeping general friendships. The past few years I've gotten better with making a connection but fail epically to keep the connection. I'm scared of contacting them at the wrong moments or whatever. Then I also over share most of the time and if they aren't ready to help me out as a friend that connection get lost.

As of this year these problems have never really been that big of a deal for me, I just saw it as I never learn as a kid or I miss the time while in a small town to connect with friends who I might have met up with each week or other week for a coffee or what not. It also made it harder that I didn't goto college right out of high school but traveled. I wasn't in one place long enough make long term friendship connections.

Now that I have a kid of my own I feel like I need to make other mommy friends, for her. I don't want her to have the same problems as I do now and feel like she hasn't many friends. I have made one friend in January while shopping in an Old Navy because I had my little girl in a front facing baby carrier.

Needless to say I hit off with the women and befriended her on facebook while still in the store. She has invited me into a group of moms that she is in, I have been invited around her place for dinner, lunches and we hang out when she lets me know of stuff that is going on. Which has been fun and it has been pretty awesome when I end up hang out with the group of women. I'm still fairly shy around them, pretty much chat with them but stick around the women I met first. It's also been good for my little girl as she bit behind in her milestones but I do think it's in account that I don't get her out around other babies much, as she tries to copy the other kids with crawling and walking. Pretty soon my fear of having her around other babies and sicknesses will be better as she is nearly a yr old and will get her MMR shot this month.

With this being side, sorry for the long one, does another else feel this way? If you have learn how to deal with stuff like this any tips? Maybe I'm just more shy than I like to think.

Hi, I'm not a mom, but I've always struggled to make and keep friends. It is scary to put yourself out there and risk rejection! I had to force myself to do that though in order to make friends irl. You got lucky with that lady. She sounds really nice.

I've never had that happen to me at all. For the longest time, I always had to approach other people first, ugh! Anyways, try talking more to one or two of the friendlier moms and ask them if they'd like to go out for coffee or something like that sometime. I'm sure that one of them will say yes.

As for your new friend, try inviting her out once in awhile. I tend to get really frustrated with people who don't initiate contact with me or invite me anywhere after awhile as I tend to assume that they don't really want to hang out with me. Most people don't like to always be the initiator as that makes them feel as if the other person isn't really that interested in hanging out with them. Friendship requires effort on both sides.

You can also join a meetup group for moms. It's free to join. You can always ask other moms about their parenting skills and what to do about your daughter. I'm sure that they'll be more than happy to help you!

BTW, I used to over share things with other people, and I still do once in awhile. I'm a lot better at censoring myself most of the time now. Try not to do that as it might put some people off. That's what I've been told.

Also, try to not expect to much from anyone right away. Other people might think that you're being needy if you rely on them to much for anything. I have been told that I tend to be needy at times, ugh! It's not as if I call, text, or email people all the time! If people are busy, then you can't always rely on them to respond to you or help you with anything at times.

It sucks, but that's just the way that most people are. I had to learn that the hard way- If they do end up helping you, return the favor and be there for them when they need you. I'm sure that you'll have better luck making and keeping friends if you do this. It took me forever to learn these things!

[Arwen_78]

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

BTW, I used to over share things with other people, and I still do once in awhile. I'm a lot better at censoring myself most of the time now. Try not to do that as it might put some people off. That's what I've been told.

Also, try to not expect to much from anyone right away. Other people might think that you're being needy if you rely on them to much for anything. I have been told that I tend to be needy at times, ugh! It's not as if I call, text, or email people all the time! If people are busy, then you can't always rely on them to respond to you or help you with anything at times.

It sucks, but that's just the way that most people are. I had to learn that the hard way- If they do end up helping you, return the favor and be there for them when they need you. I'm sure that you'll have better luck making and keeping friends if you do this. It took me forever to learn these things!

Thank you for taking the time to reply, I also have learned these lessons over the years as well. Some came to me easier than others but I'm a slow learner when it comes to friendships and relationships I believe. As I said before it really didn't seem of feel like these things were problems to me before... I never really wanted to be friends with someone who didn't like me for me. I don't do fake and have a problem with people who do. Plus, the guy I'm with now is totally super shy and I'm the more out going of us and if you were to meet me in person you wouldn't think I'm a shy type at first. I'm the type who doesn't have a problem with saying "hi" first or having a nice chat over a beer at a bar with someone I just met at the bar. Which sometimes gets me into trouble as I can't see if they are flirting for me or not, (blushes).

It's a problem now because I don't want my little girl to have the same problems of not having friends growing up. I want her to get use to the idea of how friendships work, admittedly she isn't even a year old but starting early would be best I think.

As for the lady, I have also invited her out, my apartment isn't ready to have anyone over. Each time was just bad timing for her but I wonder where too many invites start to been seen as needy. I'm also lucky that she understand how it might be for someone with ADD as her husband has ADD. Recently, I needed to get some ideas about what I was going through aired out. I didn't really want to use my Facebook as not all my friends understand it yet and I don't like to post on my Facebook unless I have no where else to do so, nobody seems to listen half the time anyways... that or doesn't know how to respond to my statuses. I had also forgotten that I was a member on here till a few days ago. I opened up to her and was like I didn't care if it took us a few weeks to talk about I need to just talk.