[Cheskaox]

I have had a male friend for nine years, I had always liked liked him but I couldn't tell him how I felt because I insecure and I thought I wasn't good enough for him because of some issues I had dealt with of my own. I told him two years ago that I was attracted to him where he said he was too but We couldn't work out cause I was moving out of NYC. So he told me that we could not both work out due to the long distance cause he's from NJ even if I lived back home it still wouldn't work out. Long story short, he tells me he was overshadowed by my fascination towards my ex where We all hung out in the City at a bar which was three years ago and I did things that I shouldn't had done three years ago with my ex which my ex male best friend knew about. (Since we tell each other everything)

Last year in September and of now this year February, We been flirting a lot and then days before my birthday even more flirting. Then two weeks after my birthday week, I had asked him lets hook up where he told me he can't because he has been dating someone for a while where I was hurt but moved on. Then by the end of February, he text me silly names and I did it back as to I asked him a question regarding why he held my hand and tried to dry hump me? Where that happen two years ago but I never had the heart to ask him cause I was shy and his response was mean where he said are we unable to maintain a friendship? I said were fine, as to I left him alone and haven't heard from him since early March regarding of me visiting in town and lets chill, he tells me maybe. So I sense a vibe and asked my mom for advice of his attitude and she said be upfront with him because honesty is indeed the best policy and I did. When I called him, my number went straight to voicemail where I was like ?

So my vibe comes back and says I'm blocked. So I confronted him about his attitude and me being blocked.

So I emailed him, saying "You don't have to reply back or anything but please understand that I'm sorry that I'm acting like this. It hurts me because I ruined everything from the beginning and of now, I feel like **** and you don't care which I can tell and understand from everything. I'm not a bad person, I'm really not. You're a really great friend, along with an talented musician and etc. I personally feel like **** because this is not how friends behave or get into arguments. Their supposed to love and care try their best for one another like a family member. I'm sorry that I asked why you held my hand and etc; no matter how many times I said I'm sorry is because I mean it out of sincere because I wouldn't and that would be rude. Speaking of rude, I'm acting as if I'm a child not an adult. I never had friends because people took advantage of me from young and now, like I said you were my only friend and loosing you now makes me emotional because I really love you not in love but love you and care. I just broke my phone today because I was stressing myself out. I'm sorry."

Then, he replies saying "Your crazy, your making up **** that isn't true. I tell u to stop what ur doing, you ignore me and ramp it up, seriously leave me the **** alone now I'm just pissed. You live in your own world with your own completely innacurate version of events. Your making it worse...STTTOOOPPPP CALLLING TEXTING AND EMAILING ME HOLY ****"

where mind you I was drunk off a glass of wine that evening from dinner of my step dad birthday and I had called him feeling sad since I sense something going on and We must talk our friendship out. Where I read his email and I reply back,

"How am I making **** up? You clearly don't know my teenager life was like other than associating with assholes in the past and yes I had suffered from legit social anxiety from being bullied and I never had friends because I wasn't what they call pretty or just about anything in common with their interest. I regret ****ing James, I regret every guy I ever encountered with and I told you I did not bring up anything other than me asking you why did you held my hand and dry hump. Dry humping is not sexual, it's playful the same with anything without any emotion of sexual. I brought up the detailed Skype session cause I was hurt at the time when I said I regret it nothing else nothing more. I'm here to apologize and explain to you how hurt I am and clearly you don't care about how I feel let along but you, I apologize and still I feel bad for ****ing James behind your back but at least I told you because I care about you."

Then he tells me, "ok your an asshole, here you go again. i don't even wanna be ****ing friends anymore. i was going to leave the communication channels open in case one day you got it, and we could be friends again, but now your on the block list. i wont get any of your communication. good job, ****ing stalker." So I got mad and called him, he starts cursing me out more in emails saying "I ****ing hate you ten times, where he said I'm harassing him." I don't get how and what...

Long story short, I'm emotional where my cousin got involved and got mad at him for disrespecting her and me.

[Trippin2.0]

Your post seems to be of the venting nature, which may I add, is perfectly ok.


I have a question though, is there a particular type of response you'd like to generate, or are you just wanting to be heard?

[Cheskaox]

Sorry for the delay, I would like an advice and recently his sister job called me due to a call she received about me being suicidal and depressed which I was only depressed not suicidal. She got the cops calling me too.

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Your post seems to be of the venting nature, which may I add, is perfectly ok.


I have a question though, is there a particular type of response you'd like to generate, or are you just wanting to be heard?

I have read your entire post OP. Let me see if I understand correctly (please correct me if I am wrong): 2 years ago he showed some physical interest in you but at the time you did not ask him to explain his actions as you said you were shy. At some point in the past you had a sexual relationship with a different guy and you said you feel bad about this. Recently, in the past couple months, when you finally asked your friend about why he showed physical interest in you 2 years ago he responded in a mean way. It sounds like you bringing this up bothered him so much that he wants you completely out of his life. Is he still dating the person he was dating in February? It sounds to me that he has found you a bit too pushy lately and he just wants to make it clear that he is not interested in a relationship with you. If he feels this way, as his friend, you need to respect his decision.

[Cheskaox]

Actually two years ago, We were at a bar together with my friends and my ex boyfriend friends where I had sexual intercourse with my ex that night and mind you I was single and allowed myself to do whatever I wanted as to I share what had happen that night to my ex best friend whose the one being a **** in this situation where he knew what I did that night and he brought it up again during an arguement. So I explained to him why is it a big deal now that it bugs him but not when I told him two years ago after two months of it happening. He got an attitude about me asking why he held and my hand because he said to me like I mentioned above "Are We unable to maintain a friendship?" I said were fine which I was and he got an attitude where he said stop asking about hand holding and ****ing. So I left him alone, you the know the rest above of me venting. I wasn't being pushy or clingy, I mean We would talk almost everyday or late at night which never bugged him at all cause I would ask. He cut me off during st. Patrick's day last month and said I'm an asshole cause I asked him what was I making up like what story and all, which lend me into deep depression. It pisses me off that he was flirting with me a lot last year around September and continued on in February until two weeks after my bday in February that he told me he was dating this girl and we gotta stop talking a certain way and all that jazz, so I said okay no problem then a week after he calls me ghetto booty. Which shocked me and he also added I don't know why you like **** for? I said for blah blah, then the hand holding and dry humping question I asked him about and he got an attitude then you know the rest from above.

He also cursed out my cousin badly.

Originally Posted by NewLyfeForReal

I have read your entire post OP. Let me see if I understand correctly (please correct me if I am wrong): 2 years ago he showed some physical interest in you but at the time you did not ask him to explain his actions as you said you were shy. At some point in the past you had a sexual relationship with a different guy and you said you feel bad about this. Recently, in the past couple months, when you finally asked your friend about why he showed physical interest in you 2 years ago he responded in a mean way. It sounds like you bringing this up bothered him so much that he wants you completely out of his life. Is he still dating the person he was dating in February? It sounds to me that he has found you a bit too pushy lately and he just wants to make it clear that he is not interested in a relationship with you. If he feels this way, as his friend, you need to respect his decision.

OP, are you currently interested in a relationship or a friendship with this guy?

[Cheskaox]

We were just close best friends and I wanted a relationship but I didn't wanna be with him because I was scared to ruin the friendship and honestly it's stressful because I don't know why I'm an asshole to him where I did nothing wrong to him and it saddens me because his sister called the cops to check up on me recently.

Originally Posted by NewLyfeForReal

OP, are you currently interested in a relationship or a friendship with this guy?

Cheskaox, I suggest you initiate a conversation with him where you calmly discuss what is on your mind and how much a friendship with him means to you, and that you respect his decision to not get involved in a relationship with you and will not push for anything beyond a comfortable friendship level. By telling him this, if he is willing to let go of whatever happened in the past and move forward with the friendship - that's great - if not, then both of you should just go your separate ways and move on with your lives.

[Cheskaox]

Originally Posted by Anonymous40157

Cheskaox, I suggest you initiate a conversation with him where you calmly discuss what is on your mind and how much a friendship with him means to you, and that you respect his decision to not get involved in a relationship with you and will not push for anything beyond a comfortable friendship level. By telling him this, if he is willing to let go of whatever happened in the past and move forward with the friendship - that's great - if not, then both of you should just go your separate ways and move on with your lives.

Sorry for the delay, just a quick update after me posting this and all. His girlfriend begins to stalk me where she found my Facebook account and made multiple accounts to get my attention where she posted my voicemail on soundcloud and added sound affects calls me a psycho and stalker then has the cops involved then summons me to court for tomorrow which I cannot attend or afford to drive to NJ or fly out. I tried to make amends with him and nothing, it's sad but also a blessing cause I have a boyfriend who saved me and made me feel more appreciative then I was ever in with anyone.

It's hard to believe that a friend of 10 years would treat you so horribly. Unless there is more to the story, I fail to see how you said or did anything to justify him treating you like that.

If he is going to be so mean to you, I would honestly let him go and move on. Communication issues or not, there is no excuse for him to treat you like that unless you did something harmful to him which I doubt judging by the tone of your posts.

If you have to be afraid of being blocked or ignored and pushed aside like last week's garbage for speaking your mind by somebody, it's time to kick that person out of your life.

[Cheskaox]

I didn't know he was seeing anyone from the time of last year in September through February of this year after two weeks from flirting with me and I was hurt cause I wished I knew the stuff that him and I had would never even happened. Where I called him and tried to tell him how I felt where it was like kicking a damn dead dog, he would block my number and I didn't know then I asked and he said there was a reason cause of it. I believe and others say that he got caught from his girlfriend and she told him off or something, either way he's ****ed up. Even my mom says it too, he ****ed me over just like the rest and last night I found his girlfriend 20th profile on Facebook which I blocked and found out the next day, she deleted it. I'm like how immature, ****ing kid are you? I even called her before since I looked her up and found her info online. I said, listen your caught the same way you caught me...just leave me alone! I would tell his friend and his friend said ignore it, I was gonna tell his family but I couldn't and honestly I didn't shown up to court yesterday that they schedule me because they put my mom maiden name as my last name and I don't even have that last name where I said good luck on that buddy. He hasn't tried to call me or make amends with me at all, you would expect that argument right would've been like listen I'm sorry for being a **** and this is what happen but didn't where I was the trying to fix all the puzzles together by my self.

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

It's hard to believe that a friend of 10 years would treat you so horribly. Unless there is more to the story, I fail to see how you said or did anything to justify him treating you like that.

If he is going to be so mean to you, I would honestly let him go and move on. Communication issues or not, there is no excuse for him to treat you like that unless you did something harmful to him which I doubt judging by the tone of your posts.

If you have to be afraid of being blocked or ignored and pushed aside like last week's garbage for speaking your mind by somebody, it's time to kick that person out of your life.