[Artchic528]

I sent out a good 4 or 5 messages over the last two weeks on OKCupid and not one guy responded back. I usually ask about an interest or something I read on their profile and nothing. What am I doing wrong?

That was my experience on OKC as well. When I put an awesome picture and profile up and just hung back and waited, I got several emails and I'd say maybe one or two of them were from guys I'd actually respond back to i.e. not messages that simply said "Hi" or "Ur cool" (I mean, what do I do with that?) Quite a few messages were also pretty sexually aggressive/suggestive, which seems to be common on the free sites and is not my experience alone; friends of mine have also had this experience.

I wouldn't be too quick to feel that it's something wrong with you. Many guys (not ALL of them...but a fair number) on the free sites aren't looking for a long term, get to know you slowly kinda thing. So opening with a casual "Hey, I'm into your interests" convo isn't going to hook them. Which is fine, because it sounds like those aren't the guys you want anyway. You're alright...just keep fishing.

[scorpiosis37]

On sites like that, most people prioritize pictures/appearance over anything else. If you aren't their type, they aren't going to respond. If you're blonde and short and they prefer brunette and tall, you just aren't going to get a reply. Another reason is that you don't meet other criteria they are looking for-- age range, level of education, geographic proximity, hobbies, desire to have kids, etc. It probably has very little to do with what you are writing in your messages, and more to do with not fitting the criteria they are looking for. I know that when I was doing online dating (which is how I met my current gf), I replied to maybe 10% of the messages I received. Often, the people who wrote the best messages did not get a reply back because I just wasn't interested in their profile, despite the well-thought out message.

[Artchic528]

I don't get it. Are you saying it's the online dating scene that's at fault? It's all I have to fall back on for a relationship. Please don't say it's the scene.

[scorpiosis37]

I don't know if you were asking me or misskeena, but I do not think the dating site is at fault. I met my girlfriend online! I do not think anyone is at fault. I think finding the right partner requires BOTH parties to feel interest. If these men are not interested, then you just have to keep looking, keep sending messages, until you find someone who IS interested! It's hard. It takes time. I was single (and going on bad dates) for 2 years before I met the woman who I am dating now. I sent tons of messages (and received tons of messages that I wasn't interested in-- an went on a gazillion dates that sucked-- before finding just that ONE person that I clicked with.

[Artchic528]

Uggg. That all takes time. Time I don't have. I'd rather not get into why there is always less and less time. I'll just say that this. Early Menopause.

[divine1966]

It takes time. And patience. I agree with scorpiosis it takes time.

Sorry you can't speed it up but you could try more sites or different sites

I Strongly suggest don't use free sites. Guys who aren't willing to pay for membership are either completely destitute which means you have to support them or the ones that aren't looking for anything serious, just hook ups. I agree with miskeena it's no matter what you say in your messages guys on those sites look at your pic only.

I recommend eharmony. Sure it's pricey. But It has less scamming compare to match and people I talked to were decent. I've met my current BF on there. I've met him after being about a month on the site. Profiles I was getting as match were pretty close to all my requirements and they even match your personality type ( you fill in a survey). I don't know where it's going yet but he is a good and safe person. I know at least that

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