I know this man (he is not my friend but a relative of mine whom I don't like at all) and he is very "sociable" and all people basically like him, men and women. But I know that he is faking all of his intentions because he told me that once. He said that I make people like me by saying some compliments and then they will go after me while I will pretend to be not caring to keep them after me, and this will keep me at the tongues and minds of people. For example, one thing he does all the time if you meet him in the street he would say: "I was going to call/visit you" which makes people delightful. But he doesn't call/visit them most of the time, unless may be if he is embarrassed and near to be caught by saying that repeatedly without actually doing it.

I think this man in particular is a real hypocrite and he makes me want to vomit. But the fact that people like him makes me even more sick. Is this the reality of social life: people want to hear what they want to hear even if it is fake and not intended for them to accept you and be part of this game called life? I wonder.

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm not sure that I agree with some of his "methods" of interaction - pretending to not care ... well I think that's a little callous. I'm not sure how sincere his so called "compliments" are - if they're stated out of genuine liking - that's great!

For me personally, I'm more attracted to people that I feel are honest - not people who say what they think I want to hear. I'd rather people tell me like it is than beat about the bush.

Sounds like a bit of a narcissist to me. Very charismatic, drawing attention to himself, false relationships, appearing to people to be oe thing while behind the doors is really another.

I doing think narcissists are even making a choice to behave that way. I believe it is a compulsion.

From experience I kknow it is difficult to watch and especially hard if you've no way of removing yourself from the situation. ARe you able to do so? Are you able to avoid him?

Are you in a position to warn people? In my experience I couldn't. I had to live with and bear it.

Originally Posted by rcat

Sounds like a bit of a narcissist to me. Very charismatic, drawing attention to himself, false relationships, appearing to people to be oe thing while behind the doors is really another.

I doing think narcissists are even making a choice to behave that way. I believe it is a compulsion.

From experience I kknow it is difficult to watch and especially hard if you've no way of removing yourself from the situation. ARe you able to do so? Are you able to avoid him?

Are you in a position to warn people? In my experience I couldn't. I had to live with and bear it.

The problem is that his methods are working with people, and he has many relations. He is not in my life to remove myself from it and it is not my job to warn people, but it seems to me that faking and pretension is a huge part of the social life, and only people like him have a place in it.

[divine1966]

As my t says it's a waste of time figuring out who does what and why. Focus on bettering yourself and don't worry about him and his methods

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