[JoeS21]

For some reason my apologies don't usually go well and I wanted to hear other people's advice about how to make a good meaningful apology without being too long winded.

[MiddayNap]

Hmm....Well, my first instinct is to tell you not to apologize, but that is bad advice. It's good to be able to admit when you were wrong and neither party can heal until the guilty-for lack of a better term-owns up to his/her actions. I recommend acknowledging what you did might have hurt this person and simply apologizing. Show that you care how your actions affected this person. "I know that when I did this, it upset you and I apologize. I was in a foul mood and took my frustrations out on you." Would be an example.

[hvert]

Short and sweet. The longer the apology, the more room there is to add a 'but' clause.

Good: I'm sorry I left the door open so the dog could escape. I will make sure it's closed going forward.
Not so Good: I'm sorry I left the door open and the dog got out, but I was in a rush because I'm really stressed about X.
Bad: I'm sorry I left the door open, but if you had helped me with Y, I wouldn't have been in such a rush and this never would have happened.

If people don't like your apologies, try the simplest form you can and see what happens. If they still don't like them, it might be their issue, not yours.

wow! great advice from the above.

My problem with apologies from a person is when I hear them too often. It really cuts down on the sincerity, becomes annoying, and even nausiating. Especially bad is when that person's constant apolgies are an excuse to tell me about their never ending woes.

The above responses have given some really great examples of how to positively apologize. My only advice to add is to choose your apologies wisely and don't make them repetative. Sometimes a simple "I goofed" or "heck I was wrong" are enough.

[nicoleflynn]

It is simple....I apologize for.....what ever you said, did. Keep it short and simple.
Such as....I am sorry I said....xyz.

[deeprest2]

I agree with the others. Its about validating someones feelings for something you did that hurt them. Forgiveness is on their part so making excuses doesnt help at all. I find it can be your tone of voice too. And maybe a hug afterwards if they'll let you. And if you cant look them in the eye the whole time, because sometimes things are so shameful and you want to look down, but at some point you should make eye contact. But like rcat said, if you're apologising more than once for something they wont believe you anymore.

[(JD)]

To me, the most important part is that you mean it. I personally don't usually accept "apologies" because anyone can apologize... but it's a matter of semantics with me.

Asking for forgiveness that's what impresses me. State what you did that you are uncomfortable about, that you shouldn't have or didn't mean to (whichever is true) and then ask them to forgive you. As a closer you can say something about working "on that" so it doesn't occur again, etc.

By stating what it was, the other will know you know what you did that offended them. Of course, too many people today think they have the right to NOT be offended. Make sure an apology is in order, and even if it's just for your own health, give it.

I learnt something in leadership. It was about 'coaching' people but I think applies to those times it's difficult to make an apology. We called it the **** sandwich. State something positive, state the bad, then close with something positive again.

ex. "I'm glad that computer is working again"
"I'm sorry I buggered it"
"I'll remember not to play with it"