Why don't I feel it?

He says he moved away from me for my good. But, why can't I feel the same? Why I can't feel that he cared for me? Why I always feel that he moved away because he never truly cared about me?

No one responded

Tell us more about the relationship. xo

Tell us more what happened please. It's hard to respond not knowing

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Here are main points:

He was a good friend (or at least I thought so). Our friendship had started while he was in declining phase of his relationship which I came to know later about.

He was sex deprived and down the line wanted friends with benefits. He had also once told me that he loved me which I never believed. All I could see was he wants sex and I couldn't give in to that. (I'm a virgin and seems like grey asexual who don't feel need to masturbate leave urge for sex). I myself had tough past and am emotionally weak. I had told him all about that.

He couldn't get sex from me. Started avoiding me stating that he is harmful for me (yes, in a way that is true because if I'll give in to his sexual needs and he will move away, I'll be devastated. Probably would consider suicide even). Months passed. But then he returns, gives me happiest hours of my life in almost a decade. But, at end of them again he leaves me because I don't want to have sex. Tells me for my sake he is doing so.
In mean time his family gets bad news. I visited him because I wanted to be a friend he could rely on. Again same thing repeats. He tells me I shouldn't have visited him. Drops me home and things go down to sex again. Same story repeats. Leaves me wailing and I remember frustration on his face. He goes on long leave to be with his family. No contact, no news.
When he joins again, he comes to meet me. I tried to revive our friendship but he wouldn't respond to me. And then again he hangs out with me one night... I would say another time I felt little happy... and after that his needs outpowers everything else.
Again, I refuse. And after that everything just goes downhill.
I realised that in all this my feelings for him had grown much more than I wanted to admit. I feel happy with him else I'm always irritated. Tried to talk to him but he blocked me.
After some more months, again contacts but same story repeats. And now again I'm in his block list.

I understand that I can't give him sexual satisfaction even if I try to. Without commitment it is just not possible for me. I also know if he treated me well, I might have given in. He is first person I ever kissed and he knows that.
What I don't understand, if he ever cared for me, will he leave me to struggle on my own knowing very well that I'm not handling things well?

Then it happened that we met at a friends party and noticed how different he had always been with me. Also I interact with many common friends. And I find that he helps them in the same situations he has never helped me. It feels like he never cared for me though he claims whatever he is doing is for my best.

I really really want to flush him out of my life. But, I'm unable to. It feels like as if time is passing but I'm stationary.

Seems like first I've given too little info and now too much.... no one responding still

I think you should be proud of yourself for not giving in to sex without a commitment. He sounds like a player. Very charming, but always expecting sex at the end of the night.

I think the reason he didn't treat you as well as others that you saw him with is because he was communicating to you that he did not want a relationship. He didn't want you to fall in love with him, he just wanted you to desire him.

I hope that you can cut him out of your life and move on.

I think you should stop seeing him completely. He clearly let you know that all he wants from you is sex. He doesn't treat you well because he isn't interested in anything but sex. You are very smart not falling for it but now I think you need to stop seeing him altogether. You deserve better .

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When it comes to entering or leaving relationships, people tend to do what is good for themselves. So I agree that him moving away is not something he is doing mainly for your good. He is trying to ease his own frustration. But that's not really unfair.

He wants sex without commitment, while you don't. He's not willing to commit, and he's not willing to give up looking for sex when he is with you. So he's leaving. That doesn't prove he has not cared for you. But he has not cared to the extent and in the way that you are wanting. I understand that's very disappointing to you, since you seem to care very much for him. The two of you seem unable to get on the same page regarding sex and regarding commitment.

This hurt is still very fresh. In time, it won't seem as bad as it does now. Most single men are not too interested in being just friends with a woman they find sexually attractive. If having sex in a non-commited relationship is too dangerous for you because of the risk of being hurt, then you may be better off to let this relationship be over now.

Thanks. It makes sense. We both are too different to be couple and have too much communication gap to even clear differences and try to make it work.

I don't know if hurt will ever ease for me. Yes, I know time is big healer but some hurts in life take much longer than they should (personal experience)

Relationship is over. Even if I wouldn't want it to be over, it isn't in my hands to work it out. There is no way I can think to make him fall in love with me. So, it hurts but that is it. Can't change. Need to give up

The hurt of losing this particular relationship will ease with time. But it sounds like there is another source of hurt. If you feel lonely and sad that you do not have a love relationship in your life, then that hurt will remain and linger on. When you want something that you don't have, then I think you need to see if you can come up with a plan for finding what you want. There's no guarantee of success, but people who go after what they want have more success in getting what they want, than people who don't. At least, that's what life has taught me.