[gemofagirl]

I have been in a relationship with a man for 12 years. It was a very tough relationship. Anytime life would present something sad or if I expressed something negative...it inevitably blew up into a fight, followed by how he was the one who was wronged. And the only way peace would resume is if I sucked it up and put a band-aid on it. There could never be a healthy discussion. As long as we lived in his Peter Pan happy-land....things were fine..and great! He can not handle conflict, sadness, disappointment. When we argue he vanishes, won't make eye contact, trivializes things, flips around facts and words, takes no responsibility,

I have broken up with him a few times. The last time, I went full on no-contact for 3 months (which he never lets me forget, despite explaining to him why I felt the need to go that route.)

The other day, after a really fun date, I went to show him a project I was working on and super proud of. He looked at it for 1 minute, gave me advice on something small, walked away and asked me where he should hang a picture. But I wasn't done showing him my project or asking him for his thoughts. So I called him on it. I said...I help you with so many things and share all of your interests. So how come you can't do the same for me? World War 3 broke out and once again, he found a way to blame me for something and not own anything.

He then vanished for a period of 48 hours. I saw him today and he told me that his his life is a mess (drama, drama, tears, tears) and he needs to get himself in order.And maybe when the dust settles, we can figure something out. I said what I needed to say, I wished him luck with his stuff and walked away.

I came home and felt like I should get in bed and be morn this. Figure myself out a bit. After 20 minutes of laying there waiting for the anxious and sad feeling to hit me....but it never did. Three hours later it still hasn't. I feel okay. I don't THINK I am numb. I do not feel anxious or sad or obsessed or panicked. Instead, I feel okay.

Why do I feel okay? Or am I kidding myself?

[Bill3]

So you two are now broken up?

Perhaps you feel relief. Perhaps you see a chance, finally, to be yourself.

[ChipperMonkey]

You feel ok because you know he was bad for you and you know you can do better. Your system feels more relief than sadness. Please don't get back together with him. You deserve SO much more in a partner!

[healingme4me]

After I finally had my home to myself, with just the kids, I felt relief. (After my exhusband moved out) Took me a couple of days to realize that I had reclaimed my life back. There's been tears since, as it was a stepped process in grieving. It's ok to feel ok as opposed to devastated.

[divine1966]

Feeling ok usually means things and life are better without him in a long run

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[Trippin2.0]

Ok means your head and heart are in agreement.