Finally. Finally he has accepted that it is over.

No more excuses to see me, no more links to love songs, no more demands to forget and forgive. No more anger at me.Finally his acceptance we are not getting back together.

And finally, an adult coversation about what happened.

That is awesome! That is a big break through and i am happy for you! Now take care of yourself and focus on you on moving forward.

[continuosly blue]

Originally Posted by rcat

Finally. Finally he has accepted that it is over.

No more excuses to see me, no more links to love songs, no more demands to forget and forgive. No more anger at me.Finally his acceptance we are not getting back together.

And finally, an adult coversation about what happened.

WOW ! How long did it take ? ( Don't know the full story ) How I long to reach the point you are at right now , and be able to make the same statement !

Congrats !

Blue - it took 2wks of him flipping between anger at me and desperation to regain my confidence, forgive, and forget. He made it about himself I must say - that ~ I ~ was hurting him because I wouldn't look past what he did.

But Blue, I stood firm. It was hard, I will always love him, but I stayed strong and stood up for myself. In the end, he relented.

We finally had a conversation about the situation the other nght and he finally admitted fault and what he did was wrong. He finally listened to my 'list' of offences and my interpretations of them. He finally said I was right. Whew. I wanted to hear that validation of my thinking and feelings more than an apology.

But we won't get back together I made that clear. I cannot forget, I cannot forgive

[divine1966]

You are incredibly strong and wise

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[continuosly blue]

Originally Posted by rcat

Blue - it took 2wks of him flipping between anger at me and desperation to regain my confidence, forgive, and forget. He made it about himself I must say - that ~ I ~ was hurting him because I wouldn't look past what he did.

But Blue, I stood firm. It was hard, I will always love him, but I stayed strong and stood up for myself. In the end, he relented.

We finally had a conversation about the situation the other nght and he finally admitted fault and what he did was wrong. He finally listened to my 'list' of offences and my interpretations of them. He finally said I was right. Whew. I wanted to hear that validation of my thinking and feelings more than an apology.

But we won't get back together I made that clear. I cannot forget, I cannot forgive

rcat:
I can't begin to tell you how much I identify with your situation. But with me it was the other way around. And the main thing is that you had the conversation you needed to have.
She won't have that conversation with me.

She will never admit that she did anything wrong to damage our relationship. It was always my fault. I've said before that I have fessed up to my mistakes and tried the best I could to make it better. But she won't admit what she has done to hurt me ! When I hear that confession I will get a validation of my thinking and feelings. But she'll never give me that satisfaction. By making me the devil she looks like a saint. I was abandoned , humiliated and psychologically abused for YEARS . That is not wrong ?

This is something I will never forget or forgive. I can't. I've suffered enough Seems like I never did any good in all those years. However hard it may be I need to remember that there are many stages in life and I'm just now experiencing one of them.
Thanks for showing me it can be done.