[tinyvessels]

I recently came across a few articles on permissive parenting and resultant adult-child emptiness that I was quick to relate to. I was wondering if anyone has any experience or thoughts on recovering from lack of communication / inexperience with conflict, self blame, and emotional neglect especially.

My parents were very loving but I do not remember much in the way of acknowledgement or encouragement, and certainly never conflict. My family did not communicate and I seem to propagate that lifestyle into my romantic relationships, including a tendency to become involved with unemotional non-communicators. I submit this way even when I am not looking for a romantic relationship. Since I base my self-worth entirely on how I believe others perceive me and my actions (based on their actions and responses), you can imagine how self destructive this pattern has been.

I have always been relatively responsible so I do not have major problems with self-discipline, although this is likely a result of a strong desire to people-please and a fear of letting others down. I am becoming aware of my passivity and I am overwhelmed by my realization that I lack a sense of self.

[divine1966]

I am not sure how and why permissive parenting is the same as parenting with no communication or emotional closeness. My parents are emotionally unavailable non communicator yet they aren't permissive. I am rather permissive parent but I communicate to my daughter very much and she is emotionally healthy ( not seeking unavailable people the way I did) and we are close

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ChipperMonkey]

I don't get the connection with permissive parenting but I will say this....

I once had a therapist who told me that the most messed up clients were those who had parents who never fought. Makes sense. Daily life is FULL of conflict, and if you never had a model for resolving conflict...I can't imagine what that must be like. (I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum....lots of conflict in the family, so I can let a lot of things go pretty easily and resolve them sooner than many others.)

[divine1966]

My parents fought. Still do. My dad is very confrontational. It messed me up big time. I for years was convinced that it's normal and that's how relationships should be. Nope.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk