[plynstrom261]

Hey everyone!

I'd like to thank everyone who replies, in advance, it means a ton! I will try to keep my question short.

I am a twenty-two year old female and have been dating someone for a few months. They are always bringing up how I am not open enough with them and how I need to share my feelings more. It really seems to bother them.

The reason I am not open is because I only want them to see the best sides of me. I don't want them to know how depressed I can get and how there are many days where I don't even want to get out of bed or do anything. I'm afraid of sharing this because I don't want them to be turned off or think I have too much baggage.

But at the same time, they are noticing that I seem depressed sometimes! So, I'm not doing a good job hiding things, apparently.

Should I completely confide in them? Is it really important for me to be honest if I want this relationship to work?

Thanks for all your help!

[Bill3]

If you knew for certain that they would accept you completely no matter what you said, how willing would you be to confide in them?

[ChipperMonkey]

It all comes out eventually. I mean you won't be able to hide major things like your depression if you two become partners and/or get married.

Communication? Its EXTREMELY important. No, I'm not saying that you have to be 1000% honest and disclose everything, but being open with your partner is pretty important for having a good relationship.

You can only show someone your good side for so long. (This is the root of the honeymoon period!) But on the flip side, true love doesn't come along until you love someone for ALL that they are, good and not so good!

Plynstrom, a relationship does not work without honesty. You don't have to give them your whole life's history, just the low points that bother you and why. If they care they will help you work through them or be there for you when you need them, and vice a versa. I think you are putting undue stress on yourself trying to be perfect and something that you are not. They may take your apprehension, fear of rejection as being a phoney and no longer be interested in you. Best to be honest. It will make all the difference. Remember, we are only as sick as our secrets. You hold back what you want the most, a relationship because of your fear of losing them. If you are honest, they will trust you more and be more open with you. Communication is everything, otherwise miscommunication happens and most people lose out. tc

[ComfortablyNumb5]

If you see or want a future with this person, you should be honest. And if that scares him off then screw him. More fish in the sea. I told my bf right from the get go. Sometimes we fight over my illness because I can't work right now. But he's never been mean like my exs that would call me a crazy bipolar ***** after we broke up for unrelated reasons. Don't be afraid if he means a lot to you. Just be honest and go from there. He's trying to get to know you, so let him.

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Seroquel 300mgs
Lamictal titrating at 75mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 50mg PRN

[iwonderaboutstuff]

"completely confide in them" after a few months? Huh... I'd suggest being honest about the day you're living, and keep it simple. For example, if you're feeling down, say I'm feeling down today. If you feel happy and content, say I'm feeling happy and content today. If you're grumpy, say I'm feeling grumpy today. If you don't feel like getting out of bed, say I don't feel like getting out of bed today. If they want to know what's making you feel happy or down or whatever, tell them if you know and are comfortable sharing (especially if they're making you feel good!). If you don't know, say I don't know, nothing I can pinpoint. If there's something affecting your mood and you don't want to share, you can choose not to interact with them that day.

[avlady]

i also suggest you be honest, but you should be careful as to what and how you tell them. if you're not feeling well let them know so they can help you if you need a hug or something.good luck

[Jupi]

Originally Posted by plynstrom261

Hey everyone!

I'd like to thank everyone who replies, in advance, it means a ton! I will try to keep my question short.

I am a twenty-two year old female and have been dating someone for a few months. They are always bringing up how I am not open enough with them and how I need to share my feelings more. It really seems to bother them.

The reason I am not open is because I only want them to see the best sides of me. I don't want them to know how depressed I can get and how there are many days where I don't even want to get out of bed or do anything. I'm afraid of sharing this because I don't want them to be turned off or think I have too much baggage.

But at the same time, they are noticing that I seem depressed sometimes! So, I'm not doing a good job hiding things, apparently.

Should I completely confide in them? Is it really important for me to be honest if I want this relationship to work?

Thanks for all your help!

I can totally relate at the moment. Just today, me and my girlfriend had a heated discussion about me not opening up to her and not wanting to talk about "what's on my mind." I tried to explain to her that I couldn't explain my feelings because of my schizophrenia. I don't think she understood. Next time I'd probably make up some stuff about my thoughts to tell her to disintegrate the conversation before it starts...