[TeddyBear35]

I fell in love with a married woman, she was a bisexual and I'm a lesbian. Her husband allowed us to have a relationship, after 3-4 years I fell in love with her and I thought I knew what love truly was til that point. I obviously was wrong because what I felt I can't put into words. She recently broke it off with me and we were together since, 2009 or 2010. The reason why she did was because I of course live in another state and I wasn't ready to move back down south due to doing it numerous times before and it didn't work so I was trying to take things slow with it. Over the past 3 years we both seen other people because it didn't work out with me living there, but we still loved each other deeply (or so I thought on her part) By us both being with other people we changed from the people we were when we last were together, plus I also quit doing drugs in them 3 years and I'm coming up on 4 years in June. So with the combination of both of course I changed because with the drugs I wasn't myself. Long story short since I wouldn't move with her right away last month she decided to end the relationship and never gave me any closure or anything she just up and stopped talking to me. She used to block me on Facebook but this time she hasn't although I can't see what is being said on her wall. I'm deeply hurt and this is NOT the first time she has done this to me and I don't know what to do. I can't let her go she was my heart, my everything we talked day and night she was like my best friend but she was my girlfriend. I've known her since I was in my early 20's and now I'm going to be 35 in January. How do I get closure and move on and let go? I've been trying to listen to music that helps with this type of thing but it's not much help so far.

[~Christina]

I'm sorry your hurting

Closure? Well It's pretty rare to really ever get it. Life just doesn't give anyone a nice neat closure with a pretty red bow on top .

What I will say is .... Regardless of the reasons the relationship failed .. You will learn something. Good and Bad. I feel based on your post that it just wasn't healthy at all. Learn from this and next go around with someone new you will have a better idea of what you are willing to accept and allow in your life and what you will not.

Grieve the lose of the relationship , it was long term so there lots of baggage to work through , process and put it to rest.. If your not sure where to even start you might want to see a Therapist to help you figure out where to begin.

I hope your feeling better soon

[Trippin2.0]

Sometimes we have to create our own closure...

Sad but true fact of life.

I'm sorry you're hurting so badly, but at least there is an important lesson to be taken away from all of this. Because it makes the normal pain from parting that much harder to deal with, and all relationships come to an end, someone either leaves or dies, its inevitable.

My favourite post break up tactic is distraction; music, movies, series, books, friends.
The more options the better.

[ChicaCupcake]

Music is a good idea. Listening to sad music will make you more sad. Listening to happy music will raise your mood.

If what you want is really to move on, I recommend writing goodbye letters. Pour your heart and soul out and begin the process of grieving. Remember loss of a relationship is very similar to death. You can use that fact to gain insight.

I personally find a place I can be alone and write my letters. Then I burn or otherwise destroy them without ever sending them. That way my brain feels like what needed to be conveyed has already been conveyed and I can move on. The brain needs to feel like it is done so that you can start thinking of something new.

That's what's been helpful to me at least.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Sometimes we have to create our own closure...

Sad but true fact of life.

I'm sorry you're hurting so badly, but at least there is an important lesson to be taken away from all of this.

Never make someone else you're entire world, never allow them to become the center of you very being, and the reason that you breath Because it makes the normal pain from parting that much harder to deal with, and all relationships come to an end sooner or later, someone either leaves or dies, its inevitable.

My favourite post break up tactic is distraction; music, movies, series, books, friends.
The more options the better.

Part of my post was somehow deleted, so it probably makes no sense, I've added it in bold....

[avlady]

i think you should be proud of yourself and not let this get to you anymore, i know easier said than done, but if you ever got back with this poisenous person, it would be the death of any other relationships you could have with better people. you need a distraction like music like others have advised here too. a hobby or something like that too. i do hope you find a better person next time around, you can get through this.