[UCLAFan]

I have issue with forgivness. Tonight i went to a concert. One i was really nervous about going to. Because i have had issues with a few guys in 2 bands. Last night i did not sleep well. Because of being nervous. I tossed and turned all night long. Today ok if you want to get thechnical. Yesterday since it's so late. I thought about forgiving those i was mad at. I had really high expectaions and hopes. Ones thst where to much. Ones that where not fair to those involved. I made a serious to forgive Joey, Josh, Zach,Rock and Justin. My struggle to forgive them and holding on to the hurt etc.Was making me a very bitter and unhappy person. I don't like feeling that way at all. I ended up having a good time and was feeling sentimental for the days when i enjoyed rocking out with 360 Smile and Modern Day Zero. I expected to much from them. In return was hurt more than i'd normally be. If Zach never forgives me. I wish him the best with music and in life. Johnny i don't think ever was mad at me. But Johnny was always my buddy at shows and made me laugh a lot. Knew when to hug me and i think could tell when i was not in the best of moods. I always felt most comfortable around him. Talking to him tonight. Was like nothing bad happend. I think Johnny is a happy go lucky type,undrstanding and forgiving. I admit i had fun. But i was so damn scared to say a word to Zach. Did not want to put him in a awkward postion,annoy or upset him. That's the only issue i had a hard time dealing with. I remember how nice he was back in the day and i really miss that.I thought i was over Zach. But the few times i have seen him since our argument. I still have feelings for him.I blew it with our friendship.

[Direction]

Sounds like you are well on the way of letting go of the hurt and bitterness...

[UCLAFan]

Yes sure am.Now if Zach would just forgive me. I'd feel even better.But i'm not sure he ever will. Which will about break my heart. But i will live.