[angel04]

I have always had a love/hate relationship with my family. I need emotional help with my current situation but I don't know how to ask for it without sounding needy or whiny. I always get the buck up speech like my problems are no big deal but I'm tired of trying to get through this alone and need help. How do I go about asking for it in a way that they'll understand and actually give it??

"hold me now, I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking......maybe six feet ain't so far down"

[dexter]

Maybe they need to understand more about what's going on and how our illness effects us.

I think two things can keep otherwise caring people from giving us the support we need (assuming first off that we let them know we need it).

They might be sympathetic but don't really understand what is going on. If they don't understand depression or bipolar as an illness then they can only relate it to their own feelings, and "buck up" may seem a perfectly appropriate response. Sorry if I've forgotten this, but are you in therapy? A therapist of counselor can sometimes give you some literature to help explain things to those around us. If they are open to it, the a therapist might even invite a group session with your family to help discuss and clarify things, it is a safer environment to let them know what you expect and what you need.

Some people do understand the illness but don't know what to say or do to help. This can be the case in most illnesses, people feel uncomfortable and so they clam up or avoid the situation.

The paper I wrote on depression might help, it is at
-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[Fuzzybear]

I can't really advise you, because I never got through to my parents or stepmother about how I was feeling, no matter what I said. I was far away from them both emotionally and physically. I told my father once that I had panic attacks and he just shouted at me ... Now, we just talk on the phone briefly 3 or 4 times a year. It is probably better that way. He lives in Scotland and I live near London, and we haven't seen each other for 8 years. I hope you find a way to get through to your family,

Take care,
Hugs,
Fuzzy

I'm sorry Angel,
I'm not helpful on this subject--without the support from this site, I really have no one that I can speak with about my problems. No matter how hard we try, our families don't get it--I thought that of all people my wife would get it, but she couldn't handle my PTSD any longer.
I'm sorry to be a downer, but people don't get it; I wish that I could help people understand how important it is that we feel loved and accepted without judgement.
Take care,
Jon