[cafeblues]

Have any of you ever had a problem with feeling physically lonely? Not that there aren't enough people around at the moment or something, but that you'd just pass out without some kind of close physical contact (and, I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about just physical closeness)?

Or maybe it's just me.

She fights just like a woman, but she breaks like a little girl.

[dexter]

i feel that way all the time. i only see "friends" now once every few months. usually i'll manage a visit by one person and then go for 3 months or more without any physical contact at all.

that's a long stretch to try to get through without passing out.

I believe that physical contact (again, not sex) is medically important as long as spiritually important. I'm not sure but I think I read somewhere on tests with people with no contact and lots of contact and people with no contact tend to grow up with a lot more problems.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[krzyk101]

The feelings of physical lonliness does come to me, only with mixed feelings. Like for instance I have been so used to having no one here besides myself for so long now, that in some weird way it has changed me. I sit here all the time feeling like it would be nice for an old friend to call or come over. The other day a friend of mine called and asked me if it would be alright to come over and visit, I said of course. When she got here she told me she could only stay for about 15 minutes, because of something she forgot about.

At fist, I was hurt wishing we could visit for longer. Only then after about 5 minutes as she and I visited I started to get really anxious feelings, I didn't have any thing to say. I tried my best to carry a conversation, only the whole time thinking to myself I wish she would just go, and get out of here. So she had to leave, after 15 minutes, I was relieved.

It isn't just her it is like anyone who I visit here, freaks me out.

But, sounds creepy but it isn't I like to go to the bus station and on a nice day observe people. I guess that is kind of my way of physical contact (not sex) just to watch people. I sit there for about 45 minutes, then get my bus and go home. I guess I need physical contact only not with communication, or such. Just need to be around people and have distant physical contact with an occasional Hello.

Take Care,
Kris

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

[(JD)]

yep. I was never a touchy feely type of person, but handshake, hug, kiss on cheek... these were good. I am alone, have been since 93. I have no intimate contact with anyone since then. Every other year or so a brother comes into town and I usually get a bear hug or two while he's here. I can return my mother;s forced hugs, but she's so tiny now, I don't feel anything in it anyway. Guess it's important for her, also alone.

My physical therapist is the only one who touches me really. And that torture isn't really what anyone craves... but it is contact. Occasionally he has to re attach my tens electrodes and that become more intimate, or give me ultra sound on my low back... so that is a respectful contact.

I think my psychologist knows how I feel. He usually tries to make some kind of innocent, simply physical contact... often helping me up out of the chair! Sometimes he pats me on the shoulder as he opens the door for me. Part of me really needs this.

um what was your question? did I answer it? Oh, yeah I do have a service dog that I hug. and he licks my tears, does this count?

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[ltlredvett]

I am a person that loves close physical contact (and that does not mean sex)... I just love laying next to someone, or even sitting close, holding hands, etc.

I miss that physical contact very much. I think that if you are more of a "touchy-feely" kind of person and you don't get that physical contact that it really has a dramatic negative affect on you.

[SeptemberMorn]

It's not just you. I was feeling the same way as you not too long ago. There were weeks that I would go without seeing my kids or grandkids. They are the ones that I got my physical contact from. When the loneliness would get to me, I felt like I was going to jump right out of my skin! When I saw my youngest son, I'd have him come sit next to me and I'd cuddle in like I was the baby. Sometimes my grandkids wouldn't come near me because they new I would kiss and hug on them long after they'd had enough. Physical loneliness can be physically painful, that's for sure! It doesn't work for just anybody to touch you, either!





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[Butterfly_Faerie]

I felt lonely like that many times, when depression kicks in of course, even sometimes when I'm not depressed I feel that way from time to time, I think everyone does at one point.

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[cafeblues]

Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories. It's helpful to know I'm not alone.

She fights just like a woman, but she breaks like a little girl.

[rubyred]

When I was younger, and found myself feeling lonely, someone gave me a Siberian Husky puppy from a litter. I was not lonely again. First of all, the dog herself was a great companion, loved to be stroked and hugged, and was always thrilled to see me. What is better than to come home and have this creature jumping around, wagging it's tail, just delighted to see you. She was a constant companion, needed care, and gave me a way of thinking about someone else besides myself.

Then, when I would walk the dog, people would admire her and talk to me. This led to meeting my future husband, and when we got married we got another Siberian Husky, so then we had two. Lots of fun.

I think that dog taught me how to greet people. Light up your face, get all excited, on some occassions throw your arms around them and give them a big hug. I know dogs don't do this, but they do lick your face.

Now I'm divorced, live alone in a condominium with no pets, yet for some reason I don't feel lonely. I think I realize that there are lots of lonely people around, so I make it a habit to act like a puppy when I see them.

Choices, it's all about choices.

[mj14]

One of my friends in college used to say that we all need five hugs a day. I know that when I don't have any physical contact with other people, it's like there is an ache in me. Fortunately, I go to a church that has the passing of the peace where people hug each other, so at least once a week, I get lots of hugs.

mj

[Aimus]

Hi,

Physical loneliness is something I have been experiencing everyday lately as it seems. It isn't like I am alone, I attend school, and play soccer and meet plenty of people in general, yet for some reason I feel lost and alone. I am 'close' to people but they don't seem to touch me. I don't know if it is me that is keeping a distance or if I am just blind and not willing to appreciate what I do have, instead of longing for things I shall never have.

For me it is as if it is never enough these days, I never really had this need, and the first twenty years of my life had no need for physical closeness. This last year however it seems as if I supressed this need, and all of a sudden I need to catch up for those twenty wasted years.

Anyway, I am starting to ramble, and I think I said what I wanted to say. Hope it is readable, I am not that good expressing my thoughts.

Life is a dream given form by thought

[collegefriend]

<font color=purple> lately i have been feeling very lonely even though i have been surrounded by many friends. even though they are there it seems like i can't reach out to them to make sure they are physically there. I am a very cuddly person i hold hands, sit beside and lay down constantly by all my guy friends. and its seems i am becoming very close to them. I depend on being able to have physical contact (not sex) and i dont know if could function with not being able to hug someone. Well i just wanted you to know that your not alone i think everyone needs a hug expessially when you are going through some rough times. andrea </font color=purple>

<font color=red> It's hard being a snowflake in a world of Cheerios!</font color=red>

[stuffiscool]

I have the hardest timw with that. Espcially after my husband leaving me. I crave just being close to someone sometimes. Youre not alone

<3

One day at a time, we can accomplish anything

[Macallan]

Often, but there isn't much that can be done about it, Even worse is when it occurs and I'm surrounded by the really ugly and un-feeling people that are walking around like they're already dead. Can't explain that one, and that description isn't based on age or physical appearanc, or the amount of noise a person is making at a given time; it's as if sometimes I can look at a person and see a big diseased, empty void instead of a healthy person. Then I pull back even more and miss physical contact the most.

[alf]

Yes, every day for the last 2 months. I have not had a hug or any other physical contact of any kind. It is getting to me hard.

[(JD)]

yeah. sad. <font color=blue> My Physical therapist "touches" me but that's hardly lovingly lol. Once in a while my T will pat me on the shoulder, or ask to help me up from the chair. I think he realizes I have no physical contact from anyone.... they say babies die when they aren't touched... maybe we do too, it just isn't so obvious.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[PlanningtoLive]

Sky, I think you are right - "we" inside do die. I know that I withdraw daily from people.

Thank goodness for my son - without him, I would never have any physical contact with people. He is the only one who gives me hugs and kisses.

Mary Alice

I too miss the physical intimacy; no only sex, but I really do miss that also. I don't relate with guys, and so all of my friends have always been women, so I was always physical with my friends (hugs & such), yet now I am so alone, and work six days a week and have pushed all those I used to be friends with so far away and....argh, I am so alone it drives me up the wall...what I would do for a little companionship right now.
Hang in there,
Jon