[lovethesun]

For anyone that has children, has another child ever said this to your child? One of my kids keeps getting told this by a girl at school. They are 3rd graders. My child usually ignores the comment. And it doesn't seem to bother her too much since she has other friends and doesn't have much to do with this particular girl anyway. I think this girl is acting out because she comes from a very strict family and probably feels powerless at home, so she's trying to exert power over her peers at school. What should I tell my child to say the next time this stupid remark is thrown in her face? One phrase comes to my mind, but it starts with an "F" and probably wouldn't be appropriate for 3rd graders.

[CopperStar]

If it were me, I would encourage my child to just continue ignoring the other child and being polite when she has to interact. In the adult world, she will also encounter plenty of people with dysfunctions, and it's an important life lesson to know how to not get sucked in or take it personally, but just to remain neutral and composed.

Let your child ignore this negative attention behavior of this other girl. If she does not get a reaction out of your daughter she will try to bully someone else. Remove the log and the fire will go out. tc

[specialneedsmom]

The girl makes this comment because she wants to provoke the other children and make them feel upset. I would tell my daughter to tell the other child "correct, we are not friends, but I have other friends" and then walk away. So she will be 1) validating what the child says and 2) stating that it doesn't bother her because she has other people in her life.

[ChipperMonkey]

This girl may be acting out in some way....its best for your daughter to try and take the high road....not take the girls comments to heart and continue to be nice to her. Not always easy for kids to do, I know!

[divine1966]

I think your daughter is very smart by ignoring the other kid. She is also wise not getting bothered by it. Do not encourage her to say anything to the girl and she eventually will get tired and leave her alone

. I think you are the same poster who was upset over kids arguing on a bus or kids ringing the bell

. It seems to be that your kids deal with complicated situations in mature and healthy way. They are handling it.

It seems that you are more upset than them about whatever happens with them on daily basis ( I can relate as a mother wanting to protect my child, it's normal). But I think unless your kids report being bullied and harassed you don't have to interfere in whatever little things happens every day. They seem to deal with it in a productive way

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It pleases me to hear that your daughter is staying strong. It also says a lot about the relationship that you and she has, that she feels she can open up to you about this problem. Certainly not something I could do with my own mother.

I would remind her that teachers are there if she needs someone to tell or talk to. And, of course how proud you are of her.

[healingme4me]

How often is this little girl saying this that you've reached out for support?

Was your daughter upset? Or is this touching your own nerve?

I have sons, but understand how catty girls can be. My third grader told me the other day that one of the newer kids can be a bully, more in not wanting to play together. My son also said, whatever he doesn't celebrate Christmas. :\

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If I had kids, I'd tell them to listen to the other child, say 'OK. Then we'll agree to not be friends, but we should at least try to get along.' Then they can all go on their merry way

[lovethesun]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I think your daughter is very smart by ignoring the other kid. She is also wise not getting bothered by it. Do not encourage her to say anything to the girl and she eventually will get tired and leave her alone

. I think you are the same poster who was upset over kids arguing on a bus or kids ringing the bell

. It seems to be that your kids deal with complicated situations in mature and healthy way. They are handling it.

It seems that you are more upset than them about whatever happens with them on daily basis ( I can relate as a mother wanting to protect my child, it's normal). But I think unless your kids report being bullied and harassed you don't have to interfere in whatever little things happens every day. They seem to deal with it in a productive way

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Perhaps I am a bit more sensitive to the daily ups and downs of my kids social interactions than some other parents would be. I have to admit, it's probably because I was bullied severely by a boy who was much older than me who lived on my street. I spent days ignoring him, then one day he upped the anty and crossed the line by threatening to rape me after I got off the bus. I've never been so scared in my life. My mom confronted him on our front lawn and screamed at him to leave me alone. Even in spite of that his evil harrassment continued. My parents should have turned him into the police. I am very fearful for my daughters and overly sensitive to any mean comment that comes their way because of that incident in my childhood. I turn to this site for guidance as I feel the advice I receive here is very good and quite frankly, the people on this site have done a great job in talking me off the ledge when I'm ready to lash out at someone who poses a threat against my children. Maybe people get tired of seeing my posts, but I never get tired of the advice I receive and it has helped me in many, many ways.

[Bill3]

Thank you so much, lovethesun, for sharing that part of your background with us. I feel like I can now understand a lot better where your posts are coming from. I will try to keep in mind what you said from now on when I read your posts.

(((((lovethesun)))))

[lovethesun]

Originally Posted by Bill3

Thank you so much, lovethesun, for sharing that part of your background with us. I feel like I can now understand a lot better where your posts are coming from. I will try to keep in mind what you said from now on when I read your posts.

(((((lovethesun)))))

Thanks Bill3.