[Yorinee00]

My mother and I have a pretty good relationship. However, it seems as if our relationship is starting to fall apart as I am getting older.
We can't seem to agree on a lot of things. Most of it are simple and small issues.

For example I can't stand how she bluffs about me to other people.
I am a psychology major on the predental track (my choice, not her fyi), but she likes to tell people that I'm biology major instead (she deliberately told me that she does this so that people will look at her in a better light, so people could admire her how smart her daughter is -since bio major is harder than psychology). Whenever her friends ask me what my major is, I tell them that I'm psychology major. She would then glare at me and would try to correct me and tell them, "But she's going to dental school though" as if she's embarrassed to admit that my major isn't "competitive" enough.

Another example is when she's talking to other people, she tends to use me to make comments. To elaborate she would say, "Oh [insert my name] says you're so cute when you smile!" to her friend's son. then he would look at me and smile...(just no...).
Okay...I NEVER said that. She doesn't realize it, but she's creating a different image of me when she does this. It's not right. It's not ME. she does this ALL THE TIME. Uses my name to present her own comments.

Whenever I try to tell her how I feel, she says that I'm too complicated. That I need to be more flexible in life. That I take things too seriously. Or that she "forgets" that I don't like it. She wants me to just play along when she does this.
But why can't she be more considerate of how I feel? It's not like I'm 5 anymore. I'm already 20 -I have my own thoughts and opinions. I just want her to be more honest when she talks about me. Just be more real. Jokes are cool, but if the other party doesn't like it, then it's not cool anymore. She says she's just having fun when she says these things, and that she doesn't mean it....
But like....I told her that I don't like it....

I'm very considerate when it comes to these things. She tells me once that she doesn't like something, I won't do it again. I consider how she feels before I act on something. So it really hurts when she so lightly considers my feelings.

Am I being too hard? I love her to death, but these things make us fight.
I hate fighting with her too. It makes me sad that we're upset about things like this.

[unaluna]

This is hard. For me it meant my mother didnt see or appreciate who i truly was. She would tell relatives i made $100,000 a year when i made only $35,000. Of course i didnt find out until much later. I wondered why everyone looked at me like i was stingy and cheap when i gave gifts. I broke with my mother in later years. I wish i had done so sooner. Or at least realized the truth for myself.

[Koko2]

Originally Posted by Yorinee00

Another example is when she's talking to other people, she tends to use me to make comments. To elaborate she would say, "Oh [insert my name] says you're so cute when you smile!" to her friend's son. then he would look at me and smile...(just no...).
Okay...I NEVER said that. She doesn't realize it, but she's creating a different image of me when she does this. It's not right. It's not ME. she does this ALL THE TIME. Uses my name to present her own comments.

My mother likes to paraphrase what I say to other people over the phone so it's not really what I said or how I said it. Frustrating. Just leave me out of the convo as far as I'm concerned.