[Sakuren]

Hi Everyone,
I'm new and decided to join because I couldnt find any information on how to address this problem with my parents.
Essentially, they have paid to keep me away from them and for other people to take care of me so that their lives wouldnt be uprooted or interrupted.
My doctors told my parents I need to live closer to family and I found out my Mom has been dragging her feet because she is afraid she will have to take care of me.
She's not the most maternal mother and my father will and does do anything and everything to keep her happy, even if it means keeping me away.
I've read all these sites about how family can help and I know that my Mom isnt going to want to do anything.

[PumpkinPieHead]

Welcome, I'm glad you're here.

A lot of us have sucky families, and I'm one of them. You're with kindred spirits. I would tell the doctor the situation, as it probably make things worse if they were a daily part of your life. I'm sorry that your Mom does that to you.

Check back in soon, OK?

[Sakuren]

The thing is I'm moving to rhode island January 5th.
I'm currently in Maryland because 4 years ago I was accepted to St.Johns college and attended. I was engaged to an abusive alcoholic who moved to Annapolis Maryland to be with me and because of the stress my immune system peaced out and I ended up with pneumonia. Because of the pneumonia and stress I missed too many classes so I couldn't start my sophomore year, I would have to re-apply to finish the second half of my freshman year with next year's freshman. My nickname was cutter girl when I first got there so I wasn't eager about dealing with another group of freshman

[Sakuren]

So my parents had me move into an apartment in Annapolis when the school year ended and I've been living here since because when I asked my dad if I could move closer to home he said it would be too complicated, my support system was in maryland. I don't know how to drive because I don't know anyone here who I can even go to lunch with let alone teach me how to drive. My dad makes 7 million a year, he still gives me a hard time about money, like I'm causing him to go bankrupt, then says well I've done everything I can. I haven't been home in 7 years because my parents didn't want to deal with me

[Sakuren]

It just... it breaks my heart to see posts from concerned mothers seeking advice on what they personally can do to help their adult child and to realize that my parents are just looking to pay other people to do it for them. In their mind, they are the best most supportive parents in the world. They pay for everything but they also hold it over my head which makes being great full almost impossible

[ChipperMonkey]

I'm not saying this to be harsh. I think that you should talk to your doctors. "Normal" people assume that everyone has good parents. They can't fathom the fact that some parents have no maternal/paternal bones in their bodies and are just crappy parents. I know you still want your parents to be the parents that they never were, but in my experience....this isn't ever going to change. I think that it would help you to talk to a therapist who can help you process all of these issues with your family and help you move forward. If you can get to the point where you can accept that your parents aren't going to be there for you, then things may improve for you. I'm a bit older and still trying to accept that my mother is never going to be the mother I want/need.

[Bill3]

(((((Sakuren)))))

I'm sorry about the way your parents are treating you.

Would you be willing to tell us a bit about how you came to be moving to Rhode Island next month?

[PumpkinPieHead]

Thanks for checking in. I'm sorry they make you feel that way. Are you going to talk to the doctor about not recommending that you move closer to them?

[Sakuren]

The thing is I want to be closer to them because that means being closer to my sister and I really do need help getting places, it's really hard to get to all your doctor's appointments, fill all your medication, do all your own grocery shopping all by yourself. My parents have paid to keep me away from them and they expect me to do everything by myself. Because they give me the money the assume I should have no problem but I've been rapid cycling and I can't do it alone despite how hard I've tried.
As it turns out I have narcolepsy type 2, I have hallucinations when I start to wake up, I get sleep paralysis, I have such vivid dreams that I have to slap myself awake, if I'm sleeping next to someone I sometimes end up hitting them , I scream in my sleep and my mom sends an email to me, my dad and my social worker asking what to do if I don't want to go to the day therapy program because I didn't sleep well the night before.
Why not be a human being and let me sleep?
Oh what if she has one of her stomach aches?
Let me stay home and realize I'm having a hard time.

[Sakuren]

ChipperMonkey, you are 100% right and I've known for a long time my mother will never change. The problem I have is how it effects me and I don't know what to do about that ��

[Sakuren]

I've been so alone for 7 years, growing up in Japan means I have no ties here. Since my younger sister graduated high school my family moved back to rhode island and my entire extended family lives there. All I have is my dog who I got against my parents wishes. My family dog, Liam, spent every day all day with me while I was in Tokyo at my lowest point and I knew getting a dog would help me. I was so lonely, I wanted a companion, someone to get out of bed for when I couldn't do it for myself. My parents said no. I thought it was because they didn't believe I could take care of a dog. I recently found out that they just didn't want to pay for it, they didn't want to give me what I wanted. As if they would be doing me a huge disservice if they did.
My boyfriend at the time bought me a dog. My social worker, therapist and psychiatrist have all said directly to me. "Andrea, I was wrong. Getting a dog has helped you, I will gladly eat my words."
Being the kind hearted person that I am, I offered them ketchup.

[Sakuren]

My Dad told his next door neighbour, Rosina, (who I have recently become close with) that Liam is his best friend, he doesn't know what he would do without him. Rosina told me he told her this and my heart broke. Did he not want this for me or did my Mom disagree enough to force his hand?

[Sakuren]

I always thought he was on my side but if my Mom and I were on a hit air balloon and my dad had to throw one of is off, I know he would toss me overboard