Fall

Hi;

I am at college and recently due to a spat of major triggers and seriously damaging life events my mental health has taken a huge hit. I got in touch with the learner support (for disabled students as I am registered as such, with chronic conditions) and they have been a HUGE help, and reduced my stressload exponentially. I was so happy and grateful to them.

So I was walking home with a classmate and I casually mentioned how the learner support had been really good with me (it was as superficial as that, I did not give her the ins and outs of my problems, merely casually said approached them, they were super helpful).

From there she said that sounded very constructive and positive, she thought she might approach them because she thought she might be dyslexic. I was totally taken aback because she isnt one to volunteer personal info and I was really flattered she seemed to trust me with this info. She said she concerns about approaching them, because of being thought of as stupid etc.

I said:

"X, what you tell them will be kept in the strictest of confidence, and the same goes for me. I won't tell anyone about what you have told me. And for the record? There is no correlation whatsoever between intelligence and dyslexia; it is NOT a reflection of you as a person or your abilities."

She thanked me, wished me a good weekend and said she would see in class.

During the weekend I emailed her some notes, and included some websites about dyslexia.

I got an email from her:

"I dont appreciate you intefering in my personal business. I was absent from class because I was getting formally tested, and you had no right to send me that stuff. I didnt ask for your help, and don't want it. Stay out of my ****ing business."

I was really shocked, because I hadn't meant to upset her and emailed her back:

"I am so sorry. I really am, I would not have raised the issue unless you opened the door. I was honestly trying to be supportive, I am sorry for offending you. But I must admit I am unhappy with the suddeness of this, and the aggressiveness."

From there, she said "really? is this so sudden? You message me a lot on facebook with derogatory and insulting comments."

Now given that I have known this girl for 4 months and she has NEVER once said before I was annoying or insulting her I was taken aback.

Apparently, me calling her babes/honey/pal or to quote her "ANY dimunitive pet name" is sexist, and very offensive to her.

I accepted that, apologised, but identified that had I been made aware of the issue at the time, I would have stopped immediately with a profuse and sincere apology.

She then fired back "that isn't the only thing, I prefer further correspondance relates solely to college matters only."

Given that I have never once asked her for coffee, or any sort of social event, have only ever really messaged about assignments and reports, this seemed odd.

"when I have ever done that, talked about something not about college?"

About 3 months ago, I was limping in college and she noticed this and asked if I had injured myself playing football. I told her no, actually I had a limp due to arthritis and as a result, it got more visible/severe when I was in pain/sore.

Later on facebook: I then went on to say that she had actually gave me a huge compliment because if she hadn't noticed it until now, then it could not be as severe or noticeable in my mind. It was something I was embarrassed about and she had really made me feel better about it and myself, and I was very grateful to her.

According to her that was me "messaging her about my insecurities."

I want nothing more to do with her, but I am left utterly bewildered at the *****iness and spitefulness of her response :\

Also, About 3 months ago she actually messaged me and asked if we could meet up at the local library so I could help her with maths, a topic she was struggling with. Which I did, happily. In my mind, I was just helping a friend.