[Yismymindblank12]

Why is everyone around me all the time just constantly talking to me about their bf/ gf and I'm like I can't get any of that. I'm just sick of people doing this. I just been single for 3 years, I can't even do anything right.

I feel like a failure, no one really has come to me to tell me how good I am anymore for many many years. It's so messed up how I'm stuck around so many people I'm less than connected to.

I don't want to talk to these people any further near me, they aren't my friends and even my friends back home are distant.

People are distant with me, people rather be my friends, it's like I'm always the one whose second or last option.

I feel like ****, I do. Girls make me feel like **** for the comments of being you're not good enough or trying to be nice about it all the time.

You know I wish I could not think about this now. I feel like **** thinking about it, I feel like I should be judged for worrying about how it affects me.

I feel ugly when I'm told I'm not I feel like the worst choice and that I have to have this always unusual inhuman confidence that people who are given things will always have abundance. I want one that's decent nothing special I can't even get that. 60 year old men pull girls my age better than me or even kids, like seriously I'm a loser.

[BlossomingLen]

Hello there. It's nice to meet you.

I don't wish to upset you or offend you in any way. But I've never understood why being in a relationship was always so important to people. You don't need to be romantically attached to a person to enjoy their company and have fun. Platonic bonds are honestly very important things. That's commonly enough where relationships sprout from, friendships. But just because a friendship can evolve into a relationship doesn't mean that it's mandatory. Just because you aren't dating anyone or married to anyone doesn't mean you're going to be alone. It's unfortunate that lots of people do worry about things such as not being in a relationship, since it was pushed onto us in our childhood. About how a woman and a man should get married and have lots of children and live happily ever after. But no one has to do that. You can have lots of friends and be happy that way.

Though, that being said, I'm not discouraging you from trying if you truly want that. If being in a relationship will give you happiness and make you feel good about yourself; you can try. But would it be a very emotionally satisfying relationship if you got into it just wanting a relationship in general? Just wanting a decent one or any one for that matter? I don't think so. But that's just me. Perhaps you should go talk to a therapist about this, maybe they'll give you advice. Maybe you could go onto dating sites and ask for advice? I'm sure plenty of people feel the same way you do and are willing to help.

As for the mean comments, that's just how society is, unfortunately. There's always going to be mean people out there who are overly blunt and hostile. There's going to be people who will say things just to break you down because they want to feel better about themselves. They feel like if they make you feel bad, they'll feel good. But that doesn't mean that's how everyone thinks of you and sees you. I know it may seem like that, it may seem like the whole world is against you. But it isn't, I promise. Things may seem bleak now, but it will get better. I don't know if you just hang around the wrong crowd or what. But not everyone is going to be intolerant of you. Some people will give you a chance and will talk to you and genuinely enjoy your company. Even if it doesn't seem likely.

I'm sorry for the very mixed response. I don't personally agree with you, but I do want you to be happy. So that's why I'm suggesting you go onto dating sites, go seek therapists or professionals about relationships, etc. Because, who knows, that may help you. Though, I also want to say that you don't have to change yourself. As I've stated previously, some people will give you a chance. The whole world isn't against you, even if it seems that way.

Thank you for reading. I hope nothing I said in this post was too harsh. Have a wonderful day!

[NordicFreak]

You'll find it one day. Believe me, if I ever found a relationship, you will too.

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by BlossomingLen

Hello there. It's nice to meet you.

I don't wish to upset you or offend you in any way. But I've never understood why being in a relationship was always so important to people. You don't need to be romantically attached to a person to enjoy their company and have fun. Platonic bonds are honestly very important things. That's commonly enough where relationships sprout from, friendships. But just because a friendship can evolve into a relationship doesn't mean that it's mandatory. Just because you aren't dating anyone or married to anyone doesn't mean you're going to be alone. It's unfortunate that lots of people do worry about things such as not being in a relationship, since it was pushed onto us in our childhood. About how a woman and a man should get married and have lots of children and live happily ever after. But no one has to do that. You can have lots of friends and be happy that way.

Though, that being said, I'm not discouraging you from trying if you truly want that. If being in a relationship will give you happiness and make you feel good about yourself; you can try. But would it be a very emotionally satisfying relationship if you got into it just wanting a relationship in general? Just wanting a decent one or any one for that matter? I don't think so. But that's just me. Perhaps you should go talk to a therapist about this, maybe they'll give you advice. Maybe you could go onto dating sites and ask for advice? I'm sure plenty of people feel the same way you do and are willing to help.

As for the mean comments, that's just how society is, unfortunately. There's always going to be mean people out there who are overly blunt and hostile. There's going to be people who will say things just to break you down because they want to feel better about themselves. They feel like if they make you feel bad, they'll feel good. But that doesn't mean that's how everyone thinks of you and sees you. I know it may seem like that, it may seem like the whole world is against you. But it isn't, I promise. Things may seem bleak now, but it will get better. I don't know if you just hang around the wrong crowd or what. But not everyone is going to be intolerant of you. Some people will give you a chance and will talk to you and genuinely enjoy your company. Even if it doesn't seem likely.

I'm sorry for the very mixed response. I don't personally agree with you, but I do want you to be happy. So that's why I'm suggesting you go onto dating sites, go seek therapists or professionals about relationships, etc. Because, who knows, that may help you. Though, I also want to say that you don't have to change yourself. As I've stated previously, some people will give you a chance. The whole world isn't against you, even if it seems that way.

Thank you for reading. I hope nothing I said in this post was too harsh. Have a wonderful day!

Not what I was wanting to get into, but no I'm actually referring to I feel stupid when other people brag about it to me. I think the same way I don't expect, but I need a better any kind of relationship with anyone now. Like now. I need a someone I can confide in I can't even feel confident anymore having friends they all left. I hate myself, because I just did everything. I get punished. I don't like posting this at all. I have to hold back every inch of me getting defensive. I feel like this will cause so much confusion this post.

[Yismymindblank12]

My therapists suck, they are all I have to afford. I have been always in a world where people are surprised when I say no to them. I tell them to **** off, because people think they owe themselves to walk over me or others. I just feel the need for once I need any connection like anything I don't care what it is. I don't have it. Like I'm so sick of hearing, my boyfriend I love him he don't love me back stories or how perfect he is or hey dude look at my hot gf.

You know when people constantly rub **** your face like every day for the past 2 years you start to believer you aren't worth something. Like the lack of evidence it has gotten better. The fact, I've done everything at this point. I am not successful. It's where I'm at, and I can't connect with people. I'm in the wrong world and time I don't even know if that's true either, but my point is. I'm very bad at connecting. I need help, my therapists can't do that.

Many days I've contemplated doing very harmful things to null this emotional pain I deal with.

I'm sick of hearing this option or that like I have an option. I can't tell you how I can or can't do that, because it's not there. I don't know. It's been like this. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck here, and I hate it that's all.

Whether dating friends family whatever. I feel useless.

[Yismymindblank12]

My one friend at work, told me I should go out more, I've been doing what I can do. It's not very effective sometimes I may get lucky two months down the road to have a series of me just being around new people and it doesn't spark any fruition to. The rest of the time me trying to contact people, because I'm always ignored even family you name it. Everyone ignores me and treats me like **** or different. I don't like it, I have to act a certain way so people can not get on my case when I'm down. I truly hate it. I hate the beginning of relationships especially. Making friends is near impossible relationships has felt attainable, but is still just as hard for me. It's a mix of where I'm working at, I have no time to hang out and when I do they don't have time , and they like other people more than me and I'm misunderstood as a poor or bad friend person a lot.

I've contemplated suicide about this. This has been a lifelong battle of this forced isolation. It's like I can't escape it. I lack transportation when needed so I'm too inconvenient sometimes. If I don't do drugs with some people or talk about it they don't bother with me, but I don't hang with those people anymore years ago.

I can say to someone how I truly feel even if it's heartfelt they take it and throw it away.

I feel like always yesterdays news. It feels like I don't belong. It's not perceived so much is the behavior that's projected onto me even if they aren't meaning to be harmful at times, most of the time they find it easier to push their weight around a lot of women around here, will zone you out if you talk about subjects they don't know or feel you are either too stupid or uninteresting. Same with my friends. I know what it feels when I am connected I smile and embrace myself more not closed up.

You know how hard it is for me to even feel anything I've wanted now. I've not received what I needed for a very very long time. I'm emotionally starved and just want it to end honestly. I want what I want or one day I'm going call it quits not because I felt I wasn't good enough. I'm tired. I truly am. I am sick of this same impersonal rhetoric. I need something badly and I'm not getting it.

that's that.

You need to get transportation. That would be important to me, as a woman.

Just being honest.

About the other stuff. I feel like you do on occasion. But I tell myself that I am good enough.

You tell yourself you are bad. Don't do that.

[ChipperMonkey]

Society is shallow?

Uhm, yeah. And that's an understatement!

If you're not what they want, then they see you as a reject and want nothing to do with you. Speaking from personal experience. I gave up on the whole relationship bit because yeah, people are shallow. And when I think about it, even when I am in a better place in life, why would I want these stupid people? If I am down on my luck again, they'd just leave me, on the same token that they reject me now. I say eff them all. Do what you want to do and don't worry about relationships. Find a steady person to hook up with every so often. Its nice because there's no expectations, no control element (that comes with every relationship whether or not anyone wants to admit to it!)

[TishaBuv]

You sound like you're young, 20's maybe. Overworked and underpaid. You're not alone and that makes forming relationships hard. I'd say take a deep breath and relax. You are not going to have a relationship like right now, like yesterday. Do you live in a city where you can take mass transit? Otherwise dating with no car is limiting. I suggest you find people you have common interests with, maybe volunteer, like Habitats for Humanity. Try to project a positive image and don't come across angry. There is someone out there for you.

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

You sound like you're young, 20's maybe. Overworked and underpaid. You're not alone and that makes forming relationships hard. I'd say take a deep breath and relax. You are not going to have a relationship like right now, like yesterday. Do you live in a city where you can take mass transit? Otherwise dating with no car is limiting. I suggest you find people you have common interests with, maybe volunteer, like Habitats for Humanity. Try to project a positive image and don't come across angry. There is someone out there for you.

Yes, I know. I'm just saying everything even being around friends is near impossible. Yes, but it's limited to a certain state we live in a tristate. We have 2 mass transit metro bus systems, but unfortunately I would have to pay for a pass cheaply for one, but not the other, because I don't know why my city does mass transit stupidly they do a lot of stupid city projects don't ask me because I don't know why on that.

Anyways yes it's available and I have uber and I used taxi's before, and I'll be driving soon. I'll have my license in a few weeks and I'm saving for a car now. People with common interests is very hard and the reality, most people don't want other people around them. I'm one of them, now, because I have to just to actually have friends than not. It's hard to explain a younger generation of people like isolation and perceived friends over real ones. It's an obnoxious trend and needs to die. It's just younger people lack the common sense of how they treat their self and others and how it affects them instead they just shut everyone out and just say **** you to everyone.

I can't relate to people at my work, because I'm from the other side of a different near my work also, most people would flake on me now at a moment's notice even if we were tight for years. Relationships aren't a goal anymore, their just a commodity. I don't find it enjoyable that I can go out with someone who in my previous experiences expect too much and you want to be a healthy relationship and just act stupid if things don't go their way. It didn't happen a lot with some of my previous relationships, but omg it hurt my brain how stupid some people get when they are overly infatuated.

I do like the people I've previously dated even if they didn't like me much or they felt bad for hurting me and just left because they can, they didn't want to be the few girls who are **** ups. Sadly, I worked hard at being better.

It's paid off giving me wisdom, the downside I don't look forward to being in any relationship. So to clarify yes I want one, but a specific one, like someone I'm actually friends with not someone I just meet. Sadly this is all superficial people are and I usually ignore and shut people out, I have to be introverted to be included to give distance so people will ask me more to hang out and so I will accept and go.
Most people like me, but most people aren't friends of mine at all, I only have a few now, thankfully again when I had none recently.

I just hate doing everything alone.

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

Society is shallow?

Uhm, yeah. And that's an understatement!

If you're not what they want, then they see you as a reject and want nothing to do with you. Speaking from personal experience. I gave up on the whole relationship bit because yeah, people are shallow. And when I think about it, even when I am in a better place in life, why would I want these stupid people? If I am down on my luck again, they'd just leave me, on the same token that they reject me now. I say eff them all. Do what you want to do and don't worry about relationships. Find a steady person to hook up with every so often. Its nice because there's no expectations, no control element (that comes with every relationship whether or not anyone wants to admit to it!)

that's what I'm doing already. Btw weird fact, I smoke hookah and weed, but I own a hookah collection and I enjoy it a lot was going to work at a hookah bar with people I was friends with.

The weird fact is, I don't like girls who heavily drink or only chain smoke cigarettes so much that's all they do like nothing else. My last relationship was like that. This girl would literally go smoke every 20 minutes for about smoking about 4 cigs she go through 5 packs to sometimes 10 in a day. It was frustrating. So I like smokers and non smokers, just I don't smoke nearly as much as I claim to. I have my limits too, and I have a rule when I have my own place again, is that, I can't let people leave alcohol in my house, so when they bring their own stuff, they have to take it with them or if it's empty bottles of beer or just liquor whatever it has to be in recycling and after a get together and party I do not want my fridge covered in alcohol left over. I don't mind drinking, but in excess I can't stand it from anyone that's how a girl if I was dating would instantly make me break up with them, if they have a problem. I dealt with it once before and I'm not doing it again.

[Yismymindblank12]

partially I chose to not go out with anyone for a long time, just to get better emotionally and not be so dependent. It worked, but I find myself doing the opposite what I used to do in my teens, was that now I don't even want a close relationship from some silly get together and the other person is too engrossed into a relationship with me they lose sight getting to know me or me getting to know them.

I just stop wanting what everyone is having. I don't want kids at all, I don't want marriage. I don't want casual hookups when I'm in a serious relationship and I don't want a serious relationship if it's not serious for example if I was in a relationship for 8 months etc and this wasn't really taking things seriously then and just continued the same glossy bs about how they try to kiss my *** a lot and really make it seem artificial instead when at first it wasn't. I don't know how to exactly describe it, but the other person doesn't grow with me they don't even act like someone I'm dating. Like I'm used to that.

It's not something good either, I'm not referring as well. It makes everything feel empty.

I don't want marriage, because it isn't my goal, and I don't ever bring this up unless I was asked about it, because it's a personal issue I have because of my parents, and the fact I don't agree and believe it's something I should just go with like most people here. I don't like it because it's a multi billion dollar business with divorce as just the same and it feels like it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not saying marriage is bad, the concept is great, but how it's institutionalized and expected is not so much. It's not an excuse for me out of intimacy issues. I don't understand what drives people to force themselves to lose everything over someone else and the sacrifice isn't usually worth it, both parties lose a lot and everyone feels like crap or one person wins the other has their life ruined financially. I don't ever want that so no.

Kids, I never want them, I like them, but I don't want them. After what my ex did to me for 2 years abusing me a lot and wanting to drive a wedge between me and my child before she aborted her and how she was going to make me pay for child support at 18 and treat her like **** and she get away with it making up insane stories while stalking me about how bad of a person I am when my friends and her former friends knew I didn't do anything wrong and she should of stopped treating me her dad and the people who care about her like crap and that. If she got full custody of our daughter, she'd treat her so badly, in a neglectful way, and the fact I don't like how she would bring random crazy dudes who beat up on her after we dated and who knows if my child was born and was forced to deal with getting physically harmed by someone else and I can't do anything about it. NO never again I'm going to deal with that painful experience and I'm not going to have a child in anytime ever in the future, because it hurts that much from the last time.

So to be clear I know I'm entitled to my feelings and I know some people wouldn't agree how I would do it and expect me to work on those things to be married to someone or give in having kids and I don't like that mentality at all. Why do people expect others to cave in to that?

That's just not normal why do people do that instead letting the person decide for themselves. I see so many stories about how women and men want to tie a knot so quickly without giving thought what the other person thinks and when it's all said and done both are quickly unhappy don't show it take it out on themselves and later others and expect things to get better by being whiny about it.

Seriously I lived my whole experience like that and seeing it in other families all the time.
I'm happy for people who get married and have kids. I just wish them the best that's all, but when people drag me into **** that isn't my problem because of their marriage or children that's where I draw the line and say no.

It's just not for me. I'm just wanting to clarify that a lot of people and older people think people should do it as it's a good thing and that people won't want to go far with you if you don't expect to marry them. Like why don't people like me just have a choice not be like, "ok hands up get married or it's over." like that's not ok.
It's not me saying I'm not marrying you so I can break up anytime, it's me just saying. I like you a lot, and I don't want you to leave and I won't make that happen already I just don't need this because it will complicate things and I feel if the person disagrees they can either deal with it or leave on their behalf. I don't care either way.

I'm so sick of people telling me about marriage and kids it's like do you talk anything else. I'm just saying.

[TishaBuv]

"Kids, I never want them, I like them, but I don't want them. After what my ex did to me for 2 years abusing me a lot and wanting to drive a wedge between me and my child before she aborted her and how she was going to make me pay for child support at 18 and treat her like **** and she get away with it making up insane stories while stalking me about how bad of a person I am when my friends and her former friends knew I didn't do anything wrong and she should of stopped treating me her dad and the people who care about her like crap and that. If she got full custody of our daughter, she'd treat her so badly, in a neglectful way, and the fact I don't like how she would bring random crazy dudes who beat up on her after we dated and who knows if my child was born and was forced to deal with getting physically harmed by someone else and I can't do anything about it. NO never again I'm going to deal with that painful experience and I'm not going to have a child in anytime ever in the future, because it hurts that much from the last time. "

It sounds like you've gone through something very heavy here.

[divine1966]

I think that the point is not to have children with people who suggest they are going to abuse them before they were even born? Men beat up on her too?. Gee. How did you even meet this girl? I think you would need to be careful who you are spending time with. Some bad crowd

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[passionfruit3]

I wanted to relate to you but after reading the second page i cant at least youve been in a relationship granted it was a bad one but life is all about experiences ive had one hundred suicide attempts soon to be hundred one i will probably die without that experience of a boyfriend girls are *****es ive learned especially young adults no sympathy they kiss and hug in front of you to show you what you don't have i have a little sister with a boyfriend i know.but as i do everything else numb yourself to the pain and have patience as hard as it may be and show respect to young single adults by not showing off

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[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I think that the point is not to have children with people who suggest they are going to abuse them before they were even born? Men beat up on her too?. Gee. How did you even meet this girl? I think you would need to be careful who you are spending time with. Some bad crowd

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I met her when I was a teenager I haven't talked to her since much ever and plan on keeping it that way. She continues to stalk me after getting married she had her tubes tied, because she has a medical issue that would of killed her giving birth, but she could technically had a c section, but honestly that was the best choice her and her father made. I don't understand why she dragged me into her lies and everyone else into it. Using everyone literally for her own benefit. I still don't what compels her to act so horribly to others and I don't understand why me she is obsessed with only. I know it could of been I had been the only one to put with her **** the longest or she liked to use me the most when we dated. I'm just glad I know what to avoid. She taught me the worst lessons in dating period or just knowing if people are good or wolves in sheeps clothing.

[Yismymindblank12]

A part of me stopped caring at all about it, and given up on it which is more where I'm at. I grew up realizing I didn't need it as I thought I did, while everyone else around me felt they needed it do it all the time wondering where did I go wrong and I don't care and most of them have either have like 2 kids or more now. I'm in that weird phase in life. I don't like it, it's not pressuring me and I don't appreciate when others around me pressure comments by me to join them with someone else I meet.

It's not my cup of tea. See for a very long time I grew up not liking marriage not because of my parents specifically I just didn't like the idea of it. I didn't like how it made me feel. I didn't mind the good values of it, I just don't believe I can handle the pressure of it. Also I grew up not liking what I witnessed of my parents marriage even though they are married for like since ever should be closing in on 30 years now. It's only there because they are financially glued to their own debt trying to still drag me into their bottomless pit. It's taken me much longer to do things that most people I'm around my age already are way ahead of me.

I don't like the fact how my parents marriage seems uninspired feels rather not interesting and it feels rather depressing less than actually feels somewhat even satisfying their committed it feels more like a sour feeling I get when I don't understand why the hell they put up with each other. I mean good for them, but it's not me saying they are fighting or not getting along. No I'm visually being dragged into their drama alot and they both seem hell bent on splitting up and not doing it. I don't want to be apart of it.

Honestly I can't be near anyone, who expects me to marry them. I'm not doing it. I've made that promise forever. If they don't like it go to someone else who would do that for them, but not me. I won't do it. I just don't believe in it as an establishment, I do believe in the sanctity of it and how it's a serious commitment but in this day and age. No not worth it. I'll just imply that if relationships weren't so easily broken and that people are quick to take from others and do things out of emotional irrational behavior and ends up screwing people over just because over something petty within themselves or someone else's behavior or take something more serious and yeah everything erupts badly. I just don't like the fact finances and like reputation and stuff like your own house and stuff are on the line for some people for that.

I don't feel that's practical and I don't feel it's like a healthy thing to do at all even if they need to rely on each other.

I'm so hellbent on being so independent and rich. I like money more than love now, when it was the opposite when I was younger. I wasn't so driven by having stability I was focused on the here and now of meeting new people and forming relationships and I dated a good sum of people. They were all disasters, but I feel I learned what I don't want and some things I do want in those relationships besides that I do now know what I actually want compared to what I need. I have a more realistic view and I'm ok with that.

The only thing is, I feel I'll be the george clooney in my family like I would rather get married at literally 60 on up once. That's all no younger. If that makes sense.

I'd rather be in a very committed relationship friendship with one girl and then eventually get married when it's ok. I'm not afraid of the person leaving me if I got married to them, it's more that I don't know how to exactly describe it. It's not just finances and things that aren't too important with that together. I find it more attractive doing that with someone later over time like longer than most people because I take it seriously. I don't like rushing anything. I get very suspsicious when people rush me to do something with them. I feel the more want something from me to take than just be grateful for what I have for being me. I don't know what I'm exactly describing. Help...