[RebbieDoll]

im in love with my best friend who has a boyfriend and they are very much in love and all that %#@&#! [which is a WHOLE other story]. so anyway, im convinced that no one will ever like me like that [because no one ever does], and that's how it is. but then apparently one of my friends actually does like me. i know this because my best friend suspected, so she talked to him. now, if he asked me out, my 1st thought is that id say yes, because this never happens to me [no, im serious, ive been single my whole life, ive only been asked out like once]. but then my second thought was: "ok, so if he asks me out and i say yes, then what? im not in love with him. i dont know if it'll work. but i wont know if i dont try. and it's practically a chance of a lifetime for me. but i dont want to hurt him. but i have zero chance with the one im in love with". so im kinda confused a little. i dont know. i just kind of need to vent a little. i cant talk to anyone else about it in detail really.

[Wants2Fly]

Hi there Songs --

I am confused by your post. I can't be sure, but it sounds like you may be young, perhaps in your 20s???? And that you are saying that you have gay feelings?

There is an old rock song about a young person seeking love, "You'll just have to wait. Love don't come easy, it's just a game of give and take."

I'm sure that there is someone out there for you. Have you considered talking with a therapist about your complicated feelings?

[meander]

Songs,

Is there any kind of spark between you and this other guy? It's kind of rare to fall in love with someone at first sight, you can still go out and have a good time with a person before love ever enters into it. If there is any kind of spark, or you're just curious I don't think one date with this guy would hurt- if you don't feel anything after, you don't have to go out with him again. Just do what you're comfortable with.

[sabby]

Hi Song,

Dating can be so crazy sometimes. So many feelings of excitement, inadequacy, etc etc.

The thing I like to remember is this, "nothing ventured, nothing gained". Since you haven't been much into the dating scene, it's going to take some dates to begin to feel comfortable with yourself in those situations. Dating doesn't mean you have to be in love with or feel anything close to love for the person you date.

Spending time with and learning about different people is the name of the game. Until you truly know someone, that little feeling in your belly, the butterflies and all, is more along the lines of infatuation and expectations of the relationship.

Go out if you are asked, have a good time. Meet people and enjoy yourself. That's what it's all about. And I'll bet, sometime down the road when you least expect it, that right person will be there and you'll both know it

Best of luck you!

Hugssss
J

[RebbieDoll]

FYI, im 16, and yes, im bi.

[kimmydawn]

I say "go for it" and see what happens if it feels OK to do.

It takes time to love someone, so don't expect loving feelings before the first date. That's what dates are about...getting to know someone.

If you say there's absolutely no chance with this other person, then the best thing to explore are the "chances" available to you?

Good luck.

KD