[harleybikerwi]

Hello, everyone. I'm a young IT professional that is interested in finding love. I've been fortunate to be on several first dates, but never a 2nd date. And I can't figure out why.

[yagr]

I see that you are new here - so first, welcome to psych central. I hope you find what you are seeking here.

There isn't a lot of information to go on here, might you tell us a little bit about your first dates?

[harleybikerwi]

Originally Posted by yagr

I see that you are new here - so first, welcome to psych central. I hope you find what you are seeking here.

There isn't a lot of information to go on here, might you tell us a little bit about your first dates?

Thanks!

Well, the first dates have been at nice restaurants. And I've let the woman talk about herself and I talk a little bit about me. Sometimes, I would pay for both and others we would split the check. Once, she paid for me even though I was going to pick it up. Every single one, I thought it went great. But I'm missing something here.

[divine1966]

Don't take women on first dates to nice restaurant. Go for something like a coffee place. Other than that it's hard to tell what's going on. Can you share more?

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[harleybikerwi]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Don't take women on first dates to nice restaurant. Go for something like a coffee place. Other than that it's hard to tell what's going on. Can you share more?

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I have a hearing loss. So, I wear hearing aids. I also meet them from online. I tried dating coworkers, but that didn't work.

[JustJenny]

I agree with divine1966 - a nice restaurant on a first date is a bad choice. In my opinion it puts too much pressure on the woman.

What about a cup of coffee and a nice walk in a park afterwards?

[harleybikerwi]

Originally Posted by JustJenny

I agree with divine1966 - a nice restaurant on a first date is a bad choice. In my opinion it puts too much pressure on the woman.

What about a cup of coffee and a nice walk in a park afterwards?

I guess I could do a cup of coffee, although I'm not a big fan of it. And it's a little too cold around here for a walk in the park. I just asked a girl if she wanted to go bowling. She said yes. I'll let you know how it turns out.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by harleybikerwi

I have a hearing loss. So, I wear hearing aids. I also meet them from online. I tried dating coworkers, but that didn't work.

I've met my fiancée on line. It's pretty common thing nowadays. I wouldn't date coworkers. I don't think hearing loss is an issue. My fiancée has Tourette's and it's fine with me. What's your age and what age women do you date?

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[divine1966]

Originally Posted by harleybikerwi

I guess I could do a cup of coffee, although I'm not a big fan of it. And it's a little too cold around here for a walk in the park. I just asked a girl if she wanted to go bowling. She said yes. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Oh good. Bowling sounds like fun. I hope you have a good time. Coffee place i didn't mean as you must drink coffee but rather neutral place to meet. You can drink tea or juice

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[marmaduke]

You said 'I've let the woman talk about herself'
Just sounds a bit patronising, like it's something you endure.
Is it something you just endure?

The secret is to take a genuine interest in the person you are with, listen carefully, thoughtfully.
If they get the vibe they are boring they won't come back.


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[specialneedsmom]

I agree with what others said, I'd go for coffee or a drink at a bar on the first date. Then do dinner for the second date.
If you think it went well, call her again. Don't assume she will call you first.

When I was dating, I'd never go on a second date with a guy who talked about his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend. I was willing to split the check on dates, but if he didn't offer to pay on the first date, I'd never go out with him again.