So my friend has been in a relationship with someone she loves for a while now but since I've been out of state I haven't been able to hang out with her until the holidays. But now that I've visited, it has always been when her girlfriend is around and they are always breaking away to talk by themselves and etc. And while I'm totally fine and happy that she's with someone she likes, sometimes I find myself feeling kinda awkward? I end up wondering if I should really just be more independent and wander off so they can be cute and couple-y but at the same time, they see each other all the time and I'm literally only going to be around for like... 4 days? This is just something I don't have a lot of experience in. Any idea what I should be doing? Cooing over them? Calling them gross PDA-ers? Ignore it all? Run away?

[avlady]

i would casually ask her what this relationship is going with her and ask her if she is bothered by your presence. you have the right to know.good luck

[ChipperMonkey]

People like this are annoying. That is, those who can't function independently of their partners.

I had a friend like this. We were best friends in high school. Fast forward to a few years ago. I realized I hadn't hung out with her one on one in over TEN YEARS!!! Don't get me wrong. Her partner is great. However I don't think it's too much to want to see a friend one on one every so often.

You may have to accept that this is just how it is.

But word of caution. If you can only have your friend as a package deal, don't let her come running back if she suddenly becomes single. That's not fair to you. She'd essentially be using you as someone she hangs out with only when she has nobody better to be with.

[marmaduke]

Well it's the classic------------
Threes a crowd. Three don't work one always gets left out.
Time to move on. Shame though that she didn't set some time aside.

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[Trippin2.0]

I would actually ask her directly why she hadn't set time aside specifically for me.


I would definitely want to know where I stand before I make plans for my next holiday. And if my friend doesn't think I'm important enough to untangle herself from her new love for 2 or 3 days, then I'd be making alternate holiday plans in future.


PS. I can only do third wheel if the couple are friends beyond lovers. Because these couples know how to behave in those situations, which eradicates the awkward factor.

[JustJenny]

How long have they been together? If they got together not so long ago it might be just a phase.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I think it's up to them not to make you feel left out. I think it's rude to have PDA when you have company. It makes them feel awkward at least to me. If you ever find you feel uncomfortable around them I would bring it up with your friend or come back another time when the honeymoon phase is over.

[ladytiger]

I had this experience a couple of months ago with a male friend and a girl he's with. They aren't dating, but they were lovey dovey. I did get jealous wish he was doing that to me, but it didn't continue to keep going like forever.

Thank you everyone for your responses. I ended up being to shy to say anything while I was there haha. But I will be mentioning it to her for next time. They've been going out for almost a year and a half now so it's been quite some time. The only reason why it was so frustrating is that she is one of my best friends so I wanted to have some heart to heart time without having to play nice with her girlfriend. Oh well. I'll demand it when I hang out with her next time.

[specialneedsmom]

Third wheel situations never worked out for me. The person who is left out, remains that way until the "cute couple" decides to go their separate ways.