My mom and step-dad told me I shouldn't have a baby because I'm Mentally Ill!!!

Oh healing. I hear you! Babies are nothing compare to what lies ahead. I only have one. She was an easy baby and is a successful adult. She was so horrible as a teenager that I was ready to run away from home. And she has no challenges and I have no MI or any health problems in fact, yet it was horror. Getting pregnant and having a baby is nothing compare to actually raising them.

Kudos to you raising THREE

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I don't think your parents meant you CANT have children but that with your issues and maturity level you SHOULDN'T have children yet. You aren't in a position to have kids at this point.

Why are you considering children at this point? That doesn't sound timely to me

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Mousebear, I believe it was from a biological standpoint, as in procreation of the species....at least that's how I read it.

While back on topic. I'll say, also, with parents like yours whose words cut right through you, it will only get worse not better for having kids. If they are worried about your MI now, they'll undermine you no doubt if this relationship with them doesn't get rectified.

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I know how much I disliked my parents & was embarrassed to even be around them in public by the age of five I was shaking loose of their holding my hand out in public & walking as far away from them as possible so that no one would know they were mt parents. At 5 years old I had no real idea what I was experiencing with them or really why....I just knew that something didn't feel right no matter how much they loved me & wanted me to love them.

It wasn't until I was 60 that I looked back & realized how totally dysfunctional they were & in researching the possibility of my H I left having Asperger's I realized my own dad fit all the descrtions also & my feelings toward my parents even at a young & really unknowing age were so negative.

Just because we want kids to fill that need for being loved doesn't mean if the kids are born without the MI coming down through the genes that they won't feel the stress of it on their own lives & push you away no matter how much love for them you have. Being accepted by peers & not having a parent or parents that create an embarrassing feeling to be around can tend to cause a child to push away their parents without really even knowing why....it's just an emotional response to what they are feeling & experiencing. I'm sure I am not the only child who felt that way about the dysfunctional parents I was born to.

OP, have you considered working with children? It would give you an idea of their needs and you would also make money and learn to be independent.

I think the first step is making healthy decisions for yourself, eg a stable relationship and lifestyle. If you are serious about kids, you'd have to figure out how to prepare your body (eg slowly get off aomemeds under supervision, take prenatal vits etc) I also read you have had issues with clots, so thats an extra risk your doctor needs to deal with during pregnancy. Then you would have to make sure you are mentally committed and physically, financially, emotionally and logistically prepared to care for your child for at least the next 18 years. This is something you could talk to your parents about, or ask here in the forum.

Don't know if you still feel you want to have a baby, or whethr you read through some concerns by members, but I urge you to seruously make an effort to discuss with your doctor or planned parenthood, get as much information on medical risks, financial concerns and responsible parenting as possible. This is one situation where you cannot afford to be selfish.

Support can't always be wrapped up in kittens and rainbows.


That's just extremely unrealistic.


Sometimes the truth is ugly and uncomfortable, doesn't mean that the people speaking it has any malicious intent.

First let me get this out of the way:
No, it is NOT! We aren't obliged to pop babies. There are already too many people in the world. And people have different purposes and women can do other things than breed breed breed.


To OP. It's not about stigma. It's about being emotionally mature and stable enough to be able to raise the child without ****ing them up. And as somebody who has teacher's licence, I know there is million and one way to **** a child up for life. You have to be there for them. First take care of them almost 24/7. Help them socialize. Teach them right and wrong. You need to comfort them when things go wrong for them. They can get ill, they can get in trouble, they can develop emotional problems of their own. You have to provide them.

It's uncomfortable to read because the truth is hard to face. Im sure this thread did not go the way OP planned, but she has been given food for thought on parenthood. With a realistic idea of the risks, OP can work toward having a family.