[pinkvilla]

I cut off my ex from my life years ago. The end was a bit weird from my part.I carried on by burying all my feelings.Only recently did I let go of that relationship in the real sense.I never ever want that person in my life again. The problem is that everyday I feel like I should explain why the ending was the way it was ,to him for me to sleep peacefully at night.

I am in such a dilemma as to if I should casually say hello and explain it briefly on facebook. It will definitely put me at ease over this whole relationship. But then I am also opening the channel for communication for future,which is a terrible idea.
I feel like I can die peacefully in my old age, if I explain and get rid of this issue once in and for all. But cannot imagine having him in my life any longer. I cannot decide what to do.

Some friends say to let it go and some say I should briefly explain.What is the best way to deal with this problem?

[NewCommer]

Well, it depends on what YOU think.
I don't really believe that it might hurt a little explanation as long as you tell him exactly what you need (ending communication for good).

I had a similar situation with an old friend and i felt much relieved once i explained what the hell happened between us.

So i suggest you telling him what happened and also that you also no longer wish to contact him.

Also, once done that, try to cut the communication yourself.
Is what i suggest you. Reading more future replies would be a better idea.

[healingme4me]

Perhaps write a letter, store it away until a later date, maybe a few months to a year? Revisit the letter and see if you still feel compelled to explain something from the past to the one in your past.

It's been this long, clearly it's not urgent.

If unable to sleep and feeling blue perhaps address this with your therapist or pdoc or regular primary care physician if you don't have either of the other?

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[ChipperMonkey]

So you want to potentially upset him in order to make yourself feel better? I think he moved on and let it go a long time ago. I don't think you should bother him just to make yourself feel better. Don't make your issue his issue. Its your job to resolve things on your own.

[Rose76]

Let it go. You really don't have a right to go starting communication with someone who you don't want in your life. That is unfair to him.

Would an explanation of your reasons be something that he might be grateful to hear? Or do you basically feel like you never quite got everything off of your chest? If you want to contact him to vent more anger, that is not cool. It sounds like he is leaving you alone. You should leave him alone.

[pinkvilla]

Let me be clear on the issue a little bit.

He is trying to contact me. I am not the type to contact someone for my own selfishness nor will I show my anger randomly to that person. So definitely this is not a selfish thing ,for those who think it is.
This is just to make both of us get some peace out of it. He has tried to reach me a couple of times and I'm somehow avoiding contact.I know he wants answers to why I behaved that way. So lately I'm thinking maybe I should just have closure by telling him what happened. I do not want him in my life anymore because of various things he had done,which I thought was less than desirable. Still,I feel like I owe him an explanation.

Well,time will tell what I make up my mind to do.

[Rose76]

You certainly have a right to do whatever it takes to get him to leave you alone. I think it's also okay to give him an explanation of the breakup, since he continues to try and contact you. That might bring closure for the both if you.

It might be a good idea to "unfriend" him on facebook.