Just found out my mom has been pocketing our money

See, the key in what you said is "you think." I don't know a damn thing, except that people will try to screw me over every step of the way, so I trust only one person, the one who took me away from being fully dependent on my family, who helped me learn about myself, even helped me lose over 60 pounds that I'd gained from impulsive eating combined with living in Minnesota.
I don't know squat about being an adult. My parents sheltered me and told me not to worry about grown up stuff. They were probably planning on teaching me about the world at some point, but when I was 14 my father died and I lost my greatest protector and source of wisdom. For the next two years I was so deep in depression that I don't remember a single thing I learned, and my mom spent that time going deeper into debt with IVF treatments so she could finally have that second child she always wanted. You can guess how much attention I got after my sister was born when I was 16. I spent four years after my father's death consumed with one thing: getting back home, to where I felt safe. Apparently no one had the heart to tell me I should have been learning how to take care of myself, or maybe they just didn't care. Finally in my senior year my step mom told me I could come back and stay with her. All of us should have realized it was a horrible idea for me to live with my dad's 26-year-old widow, who had her first son who was now 5, and my father's son who was born a month after he died, to take care of. She ended up kicking me out before the year was over, and I had nowhere to go but back to my mom, who continued to tell me to just get a degree and not worry about anything else. I bounced around from there to other family houses, never taking care of myself. I had not one shred of independence until I made the questionable decision to live with a guy I'd only known for a few months, and it turned out to be the best decision I ever made.
But now he's my protector. He's the one who knows everything, and when I try to learn about something practical I always give up in the end because the nuances and contradictions confuse me, and my boyfriend knows the answer anyway, my knowing has no bearing on the direction our lives take.
There are so many things I don't know that I don't even know where to begin learning, and it doesn't feel like there's a point anyway, I make bad decisions even when I have all the information. I just make stupid decisions, and every time I do I look back and find not one warning sign, one indication of how I could have known I was doing it wrong.
So no, I know nothing, and am wholly dependent on others except for the measley paycheck I earn on my own that wouldn't be enough to live on. And even that I only have because of my boyfriend, if not for his talking me up at a company that he had more esteem with than me, who had been there longer, and telling them I should be a store manager. If not for his urging, I would never have got up the nerve to ask for a raise once I'd kept the store running smoothly for six months.
But thank you for reminding me of the extent of my uselessness.

As for getting away:
We have a schizophrenic roommate who is waiting to be approved for disability, and can't in good conscience throw her out on her own now that we've given her a standard of living she would never have had living alone. Even if we wanted to, we would have to wait until the lease is up, we can't afford a two bedroom on our own or to break the lease. Even then we'd have to look for a place for her as well as one for us, because she'd leave it too late until homelessness threatens, which is how she ended up with us in the first place.
I do realize that someday we may very well have to let her go into less-than-desirable circumstances. But not today, and probably not as long as she continues to hold a job and pay rent.
The one thing I know other than to trust sparingly (you can thank the state of New York for teaching me that lesson) is what it's like to live with mental illness and inadequate support. My boyfriend won't condemn her to that because he's kind, and I won't because I know it could just as easily been me in her shoes.

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Student loan debts don't get inherited. If the person dies, so does the loan. I personally don't see student loan as something shameful. People acquire it because they go to school. I don't understand such negative attitude. Most people need yo borrow money to attend college especially grad school

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What I think is shameful is that we do have to. I think education should be socialized, but "socialized" has become a synonym for "dirty, evil communism" here in America. That's another story, no need to re-hash all the arguments for and against.
My mom's issue is that her student debt has blossomed far beyond what it originally was. She consolidates and refinances and bankrupts and everything else she can every year, instead of just paying it. And then she runs up credit card debt as well.

My negative attitude comes from the fact that no one ever told me I had a choice. For as long as I can remember I knew I would go to college. I think when I was a little kid I actually thought it was required, like grade school. My mom taught me that the only way to live is start out in debt, and hope whatever degree you got can pay it off. It never occurred to me until it was too late that some people do the opposite, and work their way up by building a resume and learning skills, and if they're not satisfied, they have a savings they can live off of while they go to school, and a better chance of being able to pay back any loans they might have needed.
In my case, I started an AA and only have some electives left on it, but once I wasn't living with my mom, I couldn't afford to go to school and work. I was already struggling at school without a job. Didn't seem like much point in getting more debt for classes I may fail.

I agree it's way too expensive. But there is nothing we can do.

Associate degree is rather inexpensive though if you go to community college. Also if you have next to no income you might get a grant from government. But even if you have to borrow, it's not that much. You can go part time and just take one class at s time. I don't think you can accumulate much debt with AA degree.



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