Same thing every night.....

As I write this I am on the phone with him, him being my husband.......This is a daily thing....it keeps him calm and until he goes for his next appointment this time with a psychiatrist, it keeps us feeling safe..... Maybe medication will help to stabilize his emotions and control his mood swings ??? it seems to settle his mind to know that I am in the house and no one is here....does anyone understand what I mean when I say "keeping the peace". I can sleep at night when the call ends peacefully........sad but true......

I can understand it albeit it makes me a little nervous, too, for you. I don't like to sound like the voice of doom but someone who's sociopathic, as far as I'm aware, doesn't get turned around....or, if they can/do.....it's not without a humongous amount of therapy over an extended length of time. I worry you're possibly thinking about "hanging in there" for all of that. Meanwhile, your life is not getting longer with each passing day, week, month.....understand?

Nobody gets married to get divorced. Nobody gives their heart to have to take it back. It stinks. It all-around stinks to high heaven.

But safety first. For your children. For your animals. For you.

Are you in therapy? Going, at least to NAMI or DBSA support group? (Sorry if I'm asking redundant questions.)

Don't be sorry.....I am not in therapy currently, I have been in a survival mode ever since he left. I have to look for work and keep up with school all while dealing with this situation. Time is not on my side at the moment.

Mentally and or physically unraveling isn't going to do much for your G.P.A. either, though, right? I understand and can relate to having to carry the weight of...everything...on your own shoulders. It's crushingly hard.

Posting here is a good thing - you need a support system. If there's ANY chance of sparing an hour to go to a support group, I hope you'll look in to it.

In the meanwhile.....it's almost 1AM. You and I both need to step away from the computer and try to get some sleep. Would you agree? Can we both agree to putting things on pause and laying our heads down to rest now?

You are right.....it is hard to sleep, I worry that I may not hear noises.....

I understand how a phone call can make you feel at peace while maintaing the peace. I wish you luck. Things will get better.

Lock every door and window. Put things in front of them that would make noise if they were disturbed(empty tin cans). Call the police and tell them that your husband is currently living out of the house about an hour away but you have some concerns and would appreciate it if a patrol car could swing by your house a couple of times a night. Give them descriptions of his and his parents car if you know them. Keep your children's bedroom doors open. Keep your phone charged and in your bed with you.
Then you just have to trust you've done all that you can and go to sleep. Being sleep deprived is NOT going to do any good for you. If even all those things don't calm your nerves enough, time to head either to a hotel or to your mom's.

You've got to sleep. I wish you well. Sending good thoughts. Call the local police. Get it documented and on record that you are worried.
Be safe. Good night.