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#1
Jun 23, 2007, 02:32 PM
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On yet another Saturday night! Husband has gone to visit some friends after his usual Saturday sporting event. He has phoned me - so there is no question of lack of communication or anything like that .... it is just that he has been away so much after the last few months and most of my Saturday evenings have been alone.
I really didn't want to be alone tonight (and he knew that) - yet he still phoned to say he was going out. I don't want to be clingy (or any more needy than I already am) - but I do want to be with him. I have spoken with him about this - he knows my feelings - he just doesn't think it is a big deal! I see him in the mornings before work and for a few hours every other week night so what's my problem? (Well, that is his attitude anyhow). Just feeling lonely. Want to be with my husband who would rather be with his friends ... 
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 Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#2
Jun 23, 2007, 02:41 PM
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i understand perfectly.......xoxoxo pat
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#3
Jun 23, 2007, 02:42 PM
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Thank you Pat!
__________________
Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#4
Jun 23, 2007, 02:52 PM
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I understand, too, Sabrina. The together time you are describing is time-spent-in-passing, tending to life responsibilities, and you want a "date night" . . . even if the date is staying at home.
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#5
Jun 23, 2007, 02:53 PM
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I spend most of my time alone when I am not at work, alone is good. I used to feel like you, I was married for 23 years, and he, of course, would get off of work, go to his brothers and sit around drinking, guess it was more fun than being with me. I used to be jealous of him hanging out with the guys, I was very lonely for years. I divorced him. I don't love him anymore and have no desire to be with him. At times I miss how my life used to be, I think that is becaue that is all I ever knew. Anyway, my point is... if this goes on too long (like mine went on for years), you are going to grow tired of waiting for him.
Why is it that you can't go with him??? |
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#6
Jun 23, 2007, 03:10 PM
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Thank you Wants2Fly - you do understand perfectly!
__________________
Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#7
Jun 23, 2007, 03:15 PM
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Hi regrets and thank you for your post. I do not disagree that "alone is good" - I enjoy some very nice times alone where I relish the silence and the me-time. It is just not something I choose all that often.
We have about 20 years to catch up on you - I look forward to each and every one of them. I do agree that if this sort of thing continued - I would grow tired of waiting. I can only hope that there isn't going to be a pattern .... I could have gone with him today. Most Saturday's I do - but I haven't been feeling well and I begged off. We agreed that he would bring some supper home - instead he phoned ..... I did ask him (nicely) on the phone not to be too late as I really don't want to be alone. I feel I have done my part in communicating, now I must hope that he senses my loneliness and comes home to me.
__________________
Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#8
Jun 23, 2007, 05:22 PM
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I really know how your feeling and I'm a boy (57)...be strong and never give up trying to talk to him if you really love him.
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#9
Jun 23, 2007, 05:33 PM
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my hubby works nights, is in bed half the next day, then spends all his time lying on the couch guzzling beer and watching the tv
i suppose i should be grateful he's here. jinnyann xoxoxoxoxoxox holding your hand in spirit and giving you a hug. xoxoxoxxo |
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#10
Jun 23, 2007, 07:06 PM
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talk to him always keep lines of communation open, if he wants boys night out, thats fine as long as he has date night with you and you will be having girls night out as well. whats good for him and good for you. goodluck. i hope you do go for the girls night out, it helps it a marriage and its good to just hang out with your girlfriends, we have the most fun together
 take care V |
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#11
Jun 23, 2007, 07:15 PM
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I'm a big believer each person gets a free night out...low level responsiblities...then each of you go out on a date...weekly would be nice
Schedules may require biweekly or whatever...as long as it comes in groups The idea is each of you get time out on your own...so you never get angry or feel hurt by the other...and you stay connected by going out... I will admit I did not do this while I was married...I believe that this would have changed our view of each other drastically...I plan on doing it when I date again...
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Direction  Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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#12
Jun 24, 2007, 01:37 AM
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I think what Direction said sounds wise. I'm currently living with my bf (first live-in relationship ever!) and sometimes I do find myself waiting for him to get home, like you said, Sabrina.
Maybe you should also look at hanging out with your friends also a night or two a week, and maybe calling one to come over on a Saturday night to chill and watch a movie or something? Also it doesn't sound like your husband quite gets what you mean about not wanting to be alone, or didn't get how important it was to you last night, maybe you should have a talk to him about it, too. Hope it all works out :-)
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If you're going through hell, keep going.... (Churchill) |
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