Telling possible significant others..

I think I was with her for about 3 months

OK, thanks. Do you think if you told her earlier that would be better?

Maybe, but its hard to bring it up in conversation and I only told her because we had started to become quite serious and I thought she would be more understanding. If I just told her from the start we probably wouldn't have got together in the first place.

But eventually you didn't get where you want to be, right? Someone here suggested the 3rd date is a good timing. I don't know, may be. I think the time you feel the relationship is progressing positively, it is then a good time.

Having said that, I don't agree with her reaction, because it is apparent that she didn't want to understand what your MI is and how it can affect her and your relationship. So, if you brought it up earlier, you would most likely get the same reaction. But again, if she is not accepting you, you better off early. Do you agree?

Yeah I agree, judging by her reaction I don't think I would have wanted to have a long term relationship with her anyway. There's a lot of ignorance and stigma surrounding mental illness in general but I think some people are just unwilling to challenge their ignorance. But oh well plenty more fish in the sea

Right. Your input made me think though; if there is a difference between short-term and long-term relationships, regarding disclosing information or not and when

Well I think if it's like a one night stand type thing then there's no need to disclose any information but if it's serious then you should be honest with them. But then again how do you tell if it's a serious relationship? I mean I thought mine was but she obviously didn't think so lol

I think it really depends. I think if one is diagnosed with schizophrenia it might be a good idea to disclose it. Something like ADD could wait. It depends on the severity.

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I feel the same way. I am feeling like now maybe I don't even want a LTR with a man. Or maybe it would be better if I find someone who also has a mental illness. I don't know any more. It sure is a difficult issue, isn't it?

I didn't know how to respond to someone who thought I shouldn't be opening a package with a knife because he thought that with a knife in my hand I might attack him! That is certainly not the case. I've never attacked anyone with a knife since I've had PTSD. Mental illness has a really bad stigma and with the media reporting people who have killed people and they think the killer had a mental illness. That really doesn't help us, does it?

Yeah I know right, alot of people still think schizophrenia means split personality when they're two completely different conditions. I don't know why they don't portray people with mental illnesses in a more positive light in the media. I mean we're not monsters, we're human beings who have feelings too.

I know a guy who always talks about people and judges them that they have bipolar or something else that is a MI. He really knows nothing about mental illness and I told him that. I think it's best to try to find people who would understand if possible or others that have MI. It seems the mentally ill are really getting portrayed as something they are not. It is depressing but it is reality. I don't think I'm going to tell potential significant others about my mental illnesses. When I'm feeling really bad I don't want to talk to anyone and sometimes I just tell people I have times when I want to be alone. Of course it would nice to get a hug from a significant others when we need it, too. It's frustrating.

How many here have gotten into relationships and fallen in love under false pretenses? Something as simple as their work ethic or ability to stay loyal? Maybe even an mi? Did you feel betrayed? Just another way to look at the main question...

No matter how small, a positive change deserves to be celebrated!

Of course. No one says people with mental illness are monsters or schizophrenia mean split personality. I am just saying one needs to know if one enters serious relationship. It is unfair to let other person to get serious and ambush them then. People have rights to make a choice to date someone with mental illness or not. By not telling them you ( in general not you in particular) aren't giving them that choice.

Overall it's depressing that people might not want to stay with the person but that's the reality of life.

You can't force people to be with you. I once met a guy who didn't want to date women with kids and that's his right but it doesn't mean I had to lie I have children. And once I met a guy who didn't want to date woman older than him. Did it mean I had to lie about my age?

No it just means people have rights to choose who to be with. Not wanting to be with people for whatever reason doesn't make people ignorant ( maybe some but not all), it just means they make their choice

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Divine1966 great statement! I mean really how many of us have been drug through the ashes because someone wasn't honest. And how many of us have done the dragging because we were not honest.

No matter how small, a positive change deserves to be celebrated!

I can look it this way; I have physical problems and mental problems and when I first meet someone I don't have to tell them those things. I can put it off to when I feel comfortable or not at all. My mi isn't out of control and I take meds for it just like I take med for high cholesterol. Like I said I probably should find someone else with a MI. Right now I have decided to put it all on the back burner. I am going to take care of my health problems now and not worry about anything or what anyone thinks.

I asked that because I got into a very abusive relationship. I didn't know his family had a long history of mental illness, severe spousal and child abuse his father even did time in prison for murder. But by the time he told me it was too late and I thought I could save him. Of course that didn't happen and now I must work through the mental physical and sexual abuse I endured. (Still working through it 10 years after relationship ended) Plus we both have mi in our family genes. We had two boys together one who battles ADD and one who just started dealing with depression. If only I would have known. That is why I was up front and honest right away when I dated my now husband.

No matter how small, a positive change deserves to be celebrated!

Geez I am so sorry what yu hae gone through. I've been through a lot of the same even though it was many years ago. Time seems to heal along with some good therapu/

I have a wonderful husband now of 9 years. Who I chose not out of love but because he was the right choice. Now I'm hopelessly swooning when he kisses me in love. He took my boys under his wing and we added two girls to our family. He has no family history of MI so we decided to have a baby together and put it in gods hands. Fourth child was kind of a consolation prize lol. But because there's still that chance and because both the boys have MI it's still kinda scary. ( I didn't completely lose it until after last baby or we would have not had anymore) it just affects so much in life that we don't always think about until it's too late.


No matter how small, a positive change deserves to be celebrated!