I spend a great deal of time alone, and I do all my activities alone: like going to the cinema alone, biking alone, go to the restaurants alone, walking in the city and through the parks alone.

Often, I feel a bit awkward, because people are usually with someone in the same places as I am. I cannot help but feeling this.

Has anyone been alone in some activity and felt the same way?

The only option for me to not be alone in the outdoors, is to be alone in the indoors all the time, which is a guaranteed road for insanity and craziness.

[divine1966]

I do some activities alone.

I would probably feel awkward if it was romantically inclined place like if I went to dance alone and had no one to dance with or something, other than that who cares. I was single most of my adulthood so I had to do things alone and it didn't bother me. Most of the time at least. It probably bothered me at times.

I think our society is obsessed that everyone needs to be paired up.

Every time I think of it I remember my grandmothers funeral.

We were very close and i was devastated. I was single at the time and my daughter who was a teen then lived with me but was overseas on a trip with her dad. We burry next day it maximum two days so she couldn't arrive back.

. We were all arriving to a funeral home separately as obviously we don't all live together. We then drove to a cemetery and then all went to shiva.

Funeral director bugged me the whole time why am I alone why I am driving alone why I came alone etc etc he kept saying he didn't want me to drive to cemetery alone and wanted me to ride with my parents, it didn't make any sense as we then all had to go to my aunts abs then somebody would have to drive me back to get my car!!! He kept saying he felt bad for me.

OMG I was at grandmother funeral! Not at dance party.

I was clearly upset with puffy eyes I was with my family etc and somehow it was a problem I was not paired up with someone!!!!

Go outdoors and do whatever you like doing. No need to feel awkward let alone to sit at home. I also have to say that many people you see together might be actually miserable. They might want to be alone and envy you

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Thanks for sharing your story.

Once I told my colleagues at work that I go to the cinema alone, which is something I do every week, and they said it is not good to be alone in the cinema. I guess everyone feels the pressure that being alone is, for some reason, something not desirable.

For me it is the only viable option, since I asked people to go out together in the past, but gave me excuses. At first, I stayed at home as a result, but then I decided that no one can stop me from going out and enjoying my time, at least I would stop my downward spiral to craziness. It was a huge step for me to break the barrier and go out alone as I exerted a lot of mental effort on it, because I felt negatively about it.

Now I don't have problems in going out alone, at least sometimes, but I still have this inner feeling of awkwardness, which sometimes makes me to withdraw.

[divine1966]

That colleague is ridiculous. How is that bad going to movies alone? It's entirely subjective!!!

If you do want some company have you tried meetup? My area has many. If you like movies we have s few as well, even separate by genre . If you are on s shy side you don't have to socialize much with movie meetups , just watch a movie in a group and then maybe eat together and discuss or go home.

Check meetups in your area. We have some where people meet in different restaurants. Again it could be specifically themed meetup, like certain kind of restaurants. Again if you are not extremely social you talk to only people next to you.

Nobody will give you an excuse in meetup as it doesn't work this way. And you have the power to choose what to attend and when etc

Give it a try



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[JustJenny]

Do you have any social gatherings at work? Like having a dinner with the whole group where everybody is invited?

[TerriLynn]

I do things alone a lot also. I don't really have any friends here. We moved to TX about 3 years ago, and it is hard to make friends in a new place, for me anyways. So, if my husband is doing something and I am alone, I will go out to lunch alone, and read a book. I feel a little awkward, but it is usually an enjoyable time. I am pretty good company if I don't say so myself! Yesterday I went to lunch at a place that has outdoor seating and the weather was a little chilly so I thought it would be quiet, but man it was packed with lots of people. Of course, I sat there, alone, reading my book, and felt a little odd, but overall, enjoyed it.

[seriousnsad]

I live with my boyfriend and daughter and I feel so completely alone most of the time and he's right next to me. I feel like he isn't really interested in anything I have to say, that Im not important enough to have a real converstion with. But then I watch him interract with others and it is a whole different thing. He will carry on nonstop conversations with others while I am sitting right there, but when we're alone again he barely acknowledges me.. it hurts

Originally Posted by divine1966

That colleague is ridiculous. How is that bad going to movies alone? It's entirely subjective!!!

If you do want some company have you tried meetup? My area has many. If you like movies we have s few as well, even separate by genre . If you are on s shy side you don't have to socialize much with movie meetups , just watch a movie in a group and then maybe eat together and discuss or go home.

Check meetups in your area. We have some where people meet in different restaurants. Again it could be specifically themed meetup, like certain kind of restaurants. Again if you are not extremely social you talk to only people next to you.

Nobody will give you an excuse in meetup as it doesn't work this way. And you have the power to choose what to attend and when etc

Give it a try



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I am OK with being alone, but a good company is always welcomed. To be honest, I am in the shy side and probably even socially anxious, and not an easy person to get along with. It is just me. I am offended easily by others' gestures and responses, which is something I am working on. I am not good in group meetings, I prefer one-on-one communication, as the other person just focuses on me, and me on them. Groups meetings for me are just overwhelming, and probably I would be quiet all the time, as I cannot filter the background noise. Thanks for the suggestion though.

Originally Posted by JustJenny

Do you have any social gatherings at work? Like having a dinner with the whole group where everybody is invited?

Sure there is. But I avoid them all. As I mentioned previously, I don't like people dividing their attention on too many other people, and talking about too many topics at once. The sheer noise of gathering is overwhelming to me. It's become my default response to avoid gatherings and occasions. Once a professor encouraged me to attend a gathering to celebrate Christmas. At first, I said I will go to change the pattern, but then I didn't

Originally Posted by TerriLynn

I do things alone a lot also. I don't really have any friends here. We moved to TX about 3 years ago, and it is hard to make friends in a new place, for me anyways. So, if my husband is doing something and I am alone, I will go out to lunch alone, and read a book. I feel a little awkward, but it is usually an enjoyable time. I am pretty good company if I don't say so myself! Yesterday I went to lunch at a place that has outdoor seating and the weather was a little chilly so I thought it would be quiet, but man it was packed with lots of people. Of course, I sat there, alone, reading my book, and felt a little odd, but overall, enjoyed it.

Good for you. I sometimes go to a quiet coffee house, and read a book there alone. To be honest, I cannot focus sometimes because I am very sensitive to background noise and talking, but I go anyway. Besides, holding a book makes me less weird in those settings

[divine1966]

Have you tried online dating? Many women would appreciate sensitive and shy guy.

I am very sensitive to noise too. I cannot tolerate any background noise. Maybe it's because I spend my days in constant noise and movement ( high school), outside of work I need quiet. Like the only time I want tv on if I watch a movie like once a week and i only listen to music when driving to work alone.




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Originally Posted by divine1966

Have you tried online dating? Many women would appreciate sensitive and shy guy.

I am very sensitive to noise too. I cannot tolerate any background noise. Maybe it's because I spend my days in constant noise and movement ( high school), outside of work I need quiet. Like the only time I want tv on if I watch a movie like once a week and i only listen to music when driving to work alone.




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Where are those women?

I guess dealing with students in high school is not easy. I like to listen to calm music, especially piano and violin. It is very soothing for me.

Originally Posted by seriousnsad

I live with my boyfriend and daughter and I feel so completely alone most of the time and he's right next to me. I feel like he isn't really interested in anything I have to say, that Im not important enough to have a real converstion with. But then I watch him interract with others and it is a whole different thing. He will carry on nonstop conversations with others while I am sitting right there, but when we're alone again he barely acknowledges me.. it hurts

I am sorry to hear that. But why do you accept it? You deserve respect and acknowledgment. You are not something, but someone. Stand for yourself.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Nickname

Where are those women?

I guess dealing with students in high school is not easy. I like to listen to calm music, especially piano and violin. It is very soothing for me.

There are out there. Try online?

No not easy, but I love it, I'd hate quiet job. I love fast pace and all the noise of dealing with teens. Yet when I leave work I love quiet. Everyone is different. I do love piano too. My whole family plays piano.

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Originally Posted by divine1966

There are out there. Try online?

...

OK. I'll try it.

Originally Posted by divine1966

...
No not easy, but I love it, I'd hate quiet job. I love fast pace and all the noise of dealing with teens. Yet when I leave work I love quiet. ...

Good for you. Mine is the opposite. Very quiet. Which suits me mostly. But sometimes I search for some noise if I felt it's been quiet for a long time

Originally Posted by divine1966

....I do love piano too. My whole family plays piano. ...

Nice Your family is talented.

[JustJenny]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I do love piano too. My whole family plays piano.

We have something in common My mother teaches at a music college, I play piano too, but not for living.

[JustJenny]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Sure there is. But I avoid them all. As I mentioned previously, I don't like people dividing their attention on too many other people, and talking about too many topics at once. The sheer noise of gathering is overwhelming to me. It's become my default response to avoid gatherings and occasions. Once a professor encouraged me to attend a gathering to celebrate Christmas. At first, I said I will go to change the pattern, but then I didn't

I know what you mean, I don't like crowds too. But sometimes you can find somebody you can start a one-on-one conversation with even when there are a lot of people around. I got to know people from other departments that way.

[divine1966]

Jenny you quoted me in your post. It was Nicknames post about not liking crowds and gatherings

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[divine1966]

Originally Posted by JustJenny

We have something in common My mother teaches at a music college, I play piano too, but not for living.

Great. I am a black sheep in my family though, tune deaf lol

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[JustJenny]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Jenny you quoted me in your post. It was Nicknames post about not liking crowds and gatherings

Sorry, my bad! I cannot edit that message anymore :-/ I was replying to Nickname

Originally Posted by JustJenny

We have something in common My mother teaches at a music college, I play piano too, but not for living.

Do you know music theory and read sheet music?

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by JustJenny

Sorry, my bad! I cannot edit that message anymore :-/ I was replying to Nickname

No problem!

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[JustJenny]

Originally Posted by Nickname

Do you know music theory and read sheet music?

Yes, I graduated from the school where my mother works.

Originally Posted by JustJenny

Yes, I graduated from the school where my mother works.

Interesting. I wish I could play any musical instrument, it would be a good companion for me. I am thinking about it, though. Let's see if this idea will be actualized.

[JustJenny]

Originally Posted by Nickname

Interesting. I wish I could play any musical instrument, it would be a good companion for me. I am thinking about it, though. Let's see if this idea will be actualized.

I highly recommend it. Piano is pretty challenging (and big), violin is even harder to learn when you're an adult. I bought a violin as an adult, but never really learned how to play it. You have to really dedicate yourself to it.

I also play clarinet and guitar. I hardly ever touch my clarinet now, but I love to sing with the guitar - it really helps me to relax when I am stressed.

Some instruments are a little easier than others. If you play one instrument already it is easier to learn to play another one. Knowing the theory help a lot. I started playing piano when I was a child, guitar and clarinet - when I was a teen, ukulele in my early 20s. Violin is still on the list, but I don't think I will ever really learn it. Mouth harmonica is pretty fun too

If you are seriously considering - give it a try. There is a wide selection of instruments for beginners on Amazon for really low prices (that's how I got the violin ). You can find all sorts of free tutorials online. I personally like YouTube tutorials because there you can see how to do something (e.g. how to hold a violin correctly).

Originally Posted by JustJenny

I highly recommend it. Piano is pretty challenging (and big), violin is even harder to learn when you're an adult. I bought a violin as an adult, but never really learned how to play it. You have to really dedicate yourself to it.

I also play clarinet and guitar. I hardly ever touch my clarinet now, but I love to sing with the guitar - it really helps me to relax when I am stressed.

Some instruments are a little easier than others. If you play one instrument already it is easier to learn to play another one. Knowing the theory help a lot. I started playing piano when I was a child, guitar and clarinet - when I was a teen, ukulele in my early 20s. Violin is still on the list, but I don't think I will ever really learn it. Mouth harmonica is pretty fun too

If you are seriously considering - give it a try. There is a wide selection of instruments for beginners on Amazon for really low prices (that's how I got the violin ). You can find all sorts of free tutorials online. I personally like YouTube tutorials because there you can see how to do something (e.g. how to hold a violin correctly).

Wow. You play more than one instrument, and you sing. Amazing.

I know the basics of the theory of an ancient Greek music which was adopted by the Greek Orthodox Church. I think the Western music has the same concepts but with different note shapes. But you need to match the note to a key or chord. I watched some YouTube tutorials, but since I don't have an instrument, I found the theory very abstract.

Actually, I meant guitar, not violin (violin is very hard). I am thinking of learning it. I like its sound, and you can own one for a couple hundred dollars. You don't need other instruments with the guitar to sing, which is my final desire

[JustJenny]

The good news about guitars is that you don’t have to know how to read sheet music - the internet is full of guitar chords and tabs. Chords is something you should learn by heart and tabs… you just have to be able to press the strings, no theoretical background is required whatsoever.

Guitars are very internet friendly - you can find everything you need to know about it online, including tuners. There are lots of cool things you can do while learning to play. You can open MIDI files and look at the music code. I used AnvilStudio on Windows and Rosegarden on Linux:
Anvil Studio | Free music composition, notation & MIDI-creation software
Rosegarden: music software for Linux

I think one of them can even convert sheet music to a guitar tab. If you’re interested, you can open a MIDI file with one of those programs to see how it works. You can look for midi’s using a search engine like MIDIsite - MIDI Search Engine