abusive ex stalking

I started dating this guy two years ago when I was 22. He is 38. Our relationship was more on and off because of his abuse. Back when we started getting more involved, he demanded to check my phone numerous times to see who im talking to, and when I wouldn't give it, he would fight me for it. One time, he saw that I was talking to another guy, but this guy was only my friend, and nothing more, and my ex said "now I will take you to the middle of nowhere and leave you there stranded so that you wont be able to get home". There were subtle times when he would point out hes watching me when im not with him, for example, we were staying at his house and when I wanted to leave, he would say "no, you cant, theres no cabs to come here to take you home as usual" meanwhile, I took cabs a lot back then. The last string was when I wouldn't go out with him anymore, he got aggressive, calling me nasty names which I cant even say here, and threatened me saying "you don't know who my friends/family are and what they are capable of" After the threats, I left for good. I changed my number, got off social media. 5 or 6 months later, I stopped going out as much because of my social anxiety and PTSD (which I figured were the effects of this relationship) I signed up to a dating site, and his cousin (who is very close to him) started messaging me on there and harassing me, asking me out and stuff. This was a set up. Luckily, I recognized his cousin and refused and got off the site. I then made a new facebook account to connect with my old friends, as soon as I did, he found me and sent me numerous messages on there, asking how I am, telling me "he wishes I would just speak with him, that he changed, that he can try to be good" and begged for my number. Sadly, I got scared and gave him my new number. He keeps asking me to go out for coffee with him just to "talk" and then he keeps saying he wants me to go to his place. I keep saying no because I am still scared of him. Last week he told me he was the mall the exact same time i was, at the same store. Meaning he was watching me again. Luckily i was with my mother. Then a few days ago he told me hes "on my street with his cousin" I am still very scared of him. I don't know what to do. Every time I cut contact, I feel that what im doing is wrong because I already tried that and it didn't work, that I should keep in touch so that he doesn't stalk me or potentially hurt me. He has a sick, yet strong hold on me for some reason, yet I cant stand him. What should I do?

Get the police involved. Stay safe. Block him from fb.

Sent from my LGMS631 using Tapatalk

No contact at all. Notify the police. When get stalked and killed all of the time. Stay scared of him.

To be completely honest, I think getting a restraining order would enrage him. I've thought about doing this so many times, but then I think about his cousin and friend coming after me or my family. Is there any other options for me? I am scared to leave the house sometimes in fear that he might be watching me or something

get a restraining order on him up to as many feet away as u can get

You are young, and vulnerable. This guy has manipulated you by his threats and stalking, making you feel fear. But because you are a nice person who takes responsibility for your actions, you think you can reason with this guy.
I was the same as you, and my stalker eventually broke thru my patio door with a gun and tried to shoot me. I had sought the help of the police several times, but got little help. The night of the break-in, the police had even found him and told him to stay away from me. This made him even madder, and later he came to my house. My cat, of all things, kept looking around nervously, and that is what alerted me to his lurking outside. I went to the patio door, and a huge rock came crashing thru. I escaped out to the neighbor's driveway where he kept trying to fire the gun at me, but thankfully, it had jammed. The police arrived, and it was one of those standoff situations , but they finally subdued him.

Even after his incarceration, I felt somehow responsible, so I understand where you're coming from. Listen, you are in NO WAY responsible for this guy. He is a stalker, plain and simple. There is no reasoning with this guy from allowing him to talk to you.

I nearly lost my teaching job because of this. It was many years ago, but in today's climate, I'm sure I would have been dismissed due to the history of people arriving at schools with guns. If you are working, you should be concerned about this too.

Yes, I agree with the others here. NO contact, none. Go to the police. Are you living at home with your parents? If so, do they know what's going on? If they know, they too should contact the police. If they don't know, you should tell them. But lastly, an obsessed stalker who has behaved as you are describing will stop at nothing, unfortunately.

I am scared to go to the police. He has bad friends. They could go after me or my family. I live with my mother only yes, but I don't want to worry her as she already has enough issues with my aunt currently. Are there any other options for me? at all??

Don't give him any more mixed-messages. Don't have any contact with him again, ever, no matter what he tries to tell you. Call the police, non emergency number, and explain what is happening to you and file a report.

They will most likely go to his house and tell him they are aware of what he is doing to you and to leave you alone.

Hopefully, this will be enough. (This happened to me, and the police at his door were enough)

Keep a low profile, stay off media, go out with friends for protection.

I also told him im in a relationship and to leave me alone. He told me "it wont last with this guy" insulted me, put me down, called me names that I shouldn't even say on here and told me "it wont be that easy to get rid of me"

You gave him your phone number and he thinks it's ok now. Don't ever talk to him and get police involved as others says

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Call the police. Change your number. Don't ever give him anything again--no time, no numbers, nothing. Tell the police every single time he or his cousin contact you.

If that user name is actually your real name, take it down at once.

Thank you everyone you've helped me a great deal. I will go to the police. I am still very scared of him. I just wonder what he gets from watching/following/stalking me? Hes making my life miserable by having to change my schedule now and constantly living in fear. He calls me and leaves hurtful messages calling me names like wh*** and putting me down, telling me "you are nothing, you're average you're ugly, I can find much better" but still wont leave me alone

One thing I forgot to mention here is that he made a big threat towards me while we were dating. One time, we were walking on a trail in the forest and we came across a shallow hole in the ground, he stared at it and looked at me and said "this is a perfect place to dump dead bodies" I remember getting chills down my spine. I feel lucky to be alive.

I am working on getting a restraining order. Thank you all for your help. Wish me luck.

Good luck!

I got a Restaining order. Not too hard. Judge totally agreed. I think it was the option of 1--3--or5 yrs.

I'd contact the police this guy sounds crazy and dangerous. Stay safe and avoid all contact immediately for your own safety and sanity.