[Zbeara]

I have this one friend, and I feel really bad that I don't want to be friends with her. She has been there with me through some really difficult times, and she tried really hard to be there for me, but she makes me feel terrible. She's always kind of in this perpetually stressed/angry mood. I often feel like the only way we get along is when I take on the role of her "therapist".

She has been much more agreeable recently, but even when I express something and she AGREES with me it makes me feel worse. I don't even know what that is. She just doesn't get what's going on inside my head AT ALL. Usually people have a really good reason for not wanting to be around someone, but my reason is just because...well...her! I feel like that's such a sucky reason, but I also feel like she's holding me back emotionally. My mind is shutting down because I have begun to feel misunderstood and stressed all the time. And we've been trying soooo many angles to try to make it work. We've been working at it for over 4 years, so I think I can safely say, it's time to stop being friends.

But the problem is that...we moved to another city with my brother, and she's our apartment-mate. And you can't just kick someone out just because. Especially because I actually care about her I don't want her to feel bad. Sooooo yeah, that's my situation.

[barbella]

Wow, that's tough. It sounds like you need to change the relationship somehow so that there is more distance. I am not sure how to do that. Maybe someone else here will have some suggestions?

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Whether or not it's a good reason, bottom line is that you simply don't like her. She wants you to play therapist for her. Well is she there for you too? Many relationships are one sided and in my eyes that's not healthy. If she is indeed taking advantage of your kindness then I would distance myself. As far as you guys being roomies, that's a tough one and rather a big mistake. If she's doing stuff to tick you off then I'd consider moving out. But it really all depends on who's name is on the lease. If it's in your name then you can either pay to break the lease and deal with the loss or talk to her about her moving out. If you don't like her then don't be friends. Figure out what you want to do with the living arrangements.

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[Zbeara]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

Whether or not it's a good reason, bottom line is that you simply don't like her. She wants you to play therapist for her. Well is she there for you too? Many relationships are one sided and in my eyes that's not healthy. If she is indeed taking advantage of your kindness then I would distance myself. As far as you guys being roomies, that's a tough one and rather a big mistake. If she's doing stuff to tick you off then I'd consider moving out. But it really all depends on who's name is on the lease. If it's in your name then you can either pay to break the lease and deal with the loss or talk to her about her moving out. If you don't like her then don't be friends. Figure out what you want to do with the living arrangements.

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well that's why I feel so bad, because she's not trying to make it one sided. She's just REALLY bad at understanding how other people feel. She's just not intuitive like that. It's because of her past. She's definitely not taking advantage of me. I'm hoping putting some distance on the friendship will make things alright. When it comes to me, she just can't be there for me in the way I need. And she is going to get therapy for her problems. I actually think things will work out alright. It just feels really crappy right now.

I think I'm just feeling stuck right now need to get my thoughts out. And perhaps feeling regret for not taking preventative measures sooner.