[Jan1212]

Long story short, my ex husband is now living with my family. We let him stay for the weekend to see our child and ended up staying for months. Now he's saying we are still considered in a relationship and is controlling me. I buy his gas, cigarettes, and bad influence..got me shooting up. I quit my job because I was burnt out both at work and when I come home he is extremely negative. I had to call the help for his suicide attempts.

He says I made him stay saying I flip flop and calling me a liar. I let him stay because when he left he tried to jump off the bridge. He went to inpatient and he discharged home with me. His mom doesn't care he has been too much for her. She paid and still pays for his bills.

I want him to physically leave because he is so negative and constantly calling me stu* and c** bit* and psyc* and yells at me in front of our child. He says h3 is going to O'D if he leaves the house. His parents don't want him near them. I am so stressed. He won't allow me to talk to friends. He insists on giving me a ride anywhere I go because of paranoia.

He won't get help because he says doctors and T are a joke. That he tried all medications and it gave him dangerous side effects. I have no escape. No matter what I do. I don't know what to do

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[ComfortablyNumb5]

Easy, stop buying his things for him and using. It sounds like this is a volatile and codependent relationship to me. He's manipulating you by saying he's going to OD without you. Well chances of a OD are high whether he's with you or not. Whoever he lives with needs to either tell him to go or get an eviction letter from the court. Most of all I feel sorry for your children. They're witnessing both parents using drugs and cussing each other out on a regular basis and that's not healthy for anyone here. Work on getting clean and learn to be independent and support yourself. You need to focus on your own health here and he's a big boy that can make his own decisions. Make the right choices for your children. Having one healthy parent around is better than having two that are using and arguing all day.

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[Bill3]

Read about emotional blackmail, which is part of what he is doing to you.

If he ODs after leaving you, that is his choice, not yours.

He is abusing you. Get a restraining order and/or have the police evict him.

If social services finds out that you are using could well take away your child. They might very well do that under the circumstances anyways unless you get rid of him.

If you can't do these things for yourself, do them for your child.

[Bill3]

P.S. Ask for help from a Women's Resource Center.

[Trippin2.0]

He wont leave because you're not serious about kicking him out.


You buy whatever he want or needs and allow him to stay there for free.


So why would he leave, he's got a sweet deal, with a drug fueled cherry on top.


You need to decide that he's out, he wont make that decision on his own.


Suicide?


He can die by his own hand, intentionally or not, whether he lives there or not. That's not really your problem, unless you decide it is.


I feel really sorry for your child

[Jan1212]

The feeling of guilt no one can relate or even come close to know how much this hurts my heart. I wanted to run away and I had a chance to so I let go... and listened to my ex husband. Doing this divorce alone and in secrecy in fear of being judged was so hard. It doesn't matter if I say I've been with this man for 8 years. I have so many regrets. My god he is a loser.

I'll say what I've done so far and I'm still young.. my life isn't over yet my plan is to continue working on myself esp for my little one.

I don't yell. He yells at me. I just tell him to just "please stfu already" at most. I'm passive that's how I've been brought up. It most definitely is not as easy as most people think. I'm most definitely serious- when someone's life is put into factor, it's simply not easy.

Anyway...being positive helps I have a career. I have friends ..I want to hang with them again. I have money and I'm in school for my higher ed. My child is doing well in early childhood I m proud. I accomplished so much for what I've been through at my age. This is a bump on the road. Which happens in life. I can do this. I'm hopeful... altho loss of motivation happens frequently.

Thanks for all the words of enc, and replies. This def helped me. Hope it helps some people as well

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[Jan1212]

Huge weight lifted off my shoulders. He has just left my driveway.

Yeah he will be telling lies about me and our child about how I'm a ps** and a b* or c* but anyone who believes him should be out of my life as well

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[Bill3]

Are you saying that he moved out?

[ComfortablyNumb5]

They always come back before leaving for good. Especially when you're paying their way. These kind of people are resilient like roaches

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[Jan1212]

Yes but like you said yes he did in the past several times but came back the last time was after an attempt. I was the one visiting him and he begged me to take him home because he didn't want to be there with other cr** people. He said his roommate kept banging his head on the wall and threatened to k* him in his sleep and I fell for it. I spoke with the SW and brought him home. But he stayed. I let him . Why... because he was taking good care of our child while I worked. Daily pictures updates on different parks, activities and new play friends... I could see he loved our child very much.. constantly playing and socializing ... but then this happens.

I'm not getting involved in that sort of thing again

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