[black-roses]

I am 20 years old and now I am only just coming to realize just how behind I am in learning street smarts. I was someone that chatted to every random male on facebook and even added them as friends it was only after I got verbally abused by this guy because I would sleep with him that I came to realize just how dangerous it is to talk to random people and how easy it would be for them to get my address, my credit card information. I almost can't believe just how naive I was and it's a shock everyday looking back on that behavior that was only just a year ago but I guess I can't be that hard on myself I lived a chaotic childhood, I never learnt how to think and judge things myself because I was usually at home all time just watching my parents fight like lions. It still does frustrate me and I feel stupid for not knowing a lot of things and in a way I feel upset with myself for being so naive that I was so innocent to think I'd go to a male friends house and he wouldn't want to sleep with me. It didn't even cross my mind how could I be so stupid so naive? Then I'd blame myself for not knowing that and then I'd blame myself for them touching me and also not knowing that any unwanted touch is also considered a crime. I only thought rape was considered a crime. I was so stupid so behind everyone else and that was why I was being shitted out in the world I didn't have street smarts to save my own life I was innocent like a child and that was my weakness. I had always wanted to stay a child but I realize that I can have the innocence of a child and the street smarts of an adult. I guess I should not be upset with myself it wasn't my fault I didn't know

[healingme4me]

Sorry that you've carried this pain inside.

It's too easy online to not realize the little extra steps necessary to locking down social media and emails. Because they aren't set up with you in mind. They are business entities.

I once participated on this one group page not realizing it was open or at least unaware about what open translated into. Until I did a name search. every silly comment, innocent helpful comment. Pages worth. I went through and one by one deleted each thing I ever liked or commented. I was about to give a retainer for a divorce attorney.

Sooo, that fixed that. I'm down to 3 pictures, profile pictures from my twitter and from gmail. And a landscape photo of boulder. There's one of my 3 sons with their father. And one really neat one of my oldest oh and one wrestling tourney photo of him. Two articles from college, one mention of my 7th grade basketball team and that's it.
I have only me for my activity log on fb. Only friends of friends may request my friendship.

Security settings do matter. Had this talk with my oldest via text. At first he had that text confusion before realizing that i wasnt mad. He had a fb tag of a click bait article. And a friend said They should really stop doing that. I taught him how a click bait leads to a troll session and they'll bait and incriminate. And I screened shot how I expect his fb settings to look. Already there mom gaming complications he said if not locked down. I wanted him to not place himself in situations where anyone would think otherwise.

The past is the past, at this point moving forward is a step forward.

[Yoda]

[Frankbtl]

Hi black-roses,

Absolutely don't "beat yourself up" about your past
It sounds like you're "street smarting" yourself up REALLY well now!!!
There are people out there aged 25........27.........30...........35.........40.............who are still learning some of the lessons you've learnt, not to discredit them, but to credit you!!
And it isn't always people natural instincts to assume that there are other people who have real bad intentions.........that something you do innocently, with good intentions might be turned against you............so it's not necessarily been your fault, but at least you're more focused on protecting yourself against that sort of stuff now, which is great.

And to be fair to yourself in respect of the male friend.........why shouldn't you have expected a friend to be, just that, a friend, and not to hurt you/take advantage of you??!!!
I am sorry you found yourself in that position
And if you need any support with that..........we're here for you

But I've still got to ultimately really congratulate you on your progress in picking up those "street smarts". I know it must have been really difficult if you hadn't had that support network to help you pick some of them up sooner.........but you're absolutely on the right track, keep up the good work!!!
And a bit of Googling or checking out online other people's experiences might help too along the way

Alison